Articles by Jean Gibson

Evidences for the Truth of Christian Faith 4/22/06

Perhaps the foremost evidence of Christian truth is the

Person of Jesus the Messiah. No other person in history is like Him. All time is divided into the periods of B.C. (before Christ) and A.D. (anno Domini), “the year of our Lord”. What kind of man would go around saying, “I am the resurrection and the life”, and “He that believeth on me hath eternal life”? If He were not speaking truth and giving evidence of His role in salvation, He probably would be called a lunatic. No one ever made this accusation against Him. Is it narrow-mindedness or truth when He says, “I am the way, the truth and the life. No man cometh to the Father but by Me” (John 14:6)?

No book has ever had the impact of the

Bible in the world or on individuals. It is the all-time “best seller” of books ever written. No book has had the impact of transforming lives like this one. Challenges, such as criminal behavior, violence, drug trafficking, and alcoholism have gone on for centuries. Where psychiatry has failed repeatedly, the Scriptures have been successful in millions of cases.

What book would ever declare itself to be the very Word of God? It is filled with direct quotations from God in the first person. The longest chapter in the Bible (Psa. 119) is devoted to describing the blessings received by the man who keeps His Word. No other book makes this claim. From the time of Moses in the Old Testament to Jesus and the Apostles, the Bible affirms consistently that the Scriptures came from God, even though written by men. The means does not destroy the divine purpose. It says, “ All Scripture is inspired by God (“God-breathed”) and is profitable for teaching… and instruction in righteousness” (II Tim. 3:16). Further, it says that the one who does not believe God’s Word has called Him a liar and the truth is not in him. (I John 5:10).

The strongest evidence for a creative intelligence (God) is fulfillment of Biblical prophecy. It is impossible to predict in specific detail events long before they happen, especially without error. Public fascination with astrology, horoscopes and “fortune tellers” show human desire to know the future. However, no known system yields a successful detailed prediction on any subject, whether in economics or the weather. Only God can know and control the future.

Of all areas of Biblical prophecy, none exceed the detail and clarity of Messianic prophecy. It begins with Gen. 3:15 which refers to the seed of a woman. Only men have seed (sperm), not women. This fits with the virgin birth of Jesus (Isa. 7:14).

Details of all the major events in the life of Jesus are given in order, some over a thousand years before His birth. These Scriptures detail His sufferings on the cross before crucifixion was even practiced (Psa.22). Please consult Appendix A for details. One should not say that these prophecies were added later. The Dead Sea Scrolls (dated in the 2nd century B.C. and discovered in 1947 A.D.) confirm the Biblical facts just as we have them in our Bible today. The Scrolls contain some part of every book of the Bible except Esther. This includes a complete text of Isaiah, which is filled with Messianic detail.

Biblical prophecies are not limited to the Messiah. For example, the full course of world empires are set down in the texts in correct order. Egypt, Assyria, Babylonia, Media-Persia, Greece and Rome are covered in detail from patriarchal times in Daniel and Zechariah, and are concluded in Revelation. Another example is the mention of nuclear fusion, including the basic principle of the atom bomb (“all things held together”, Col.1:17). To this can be added II Peter 3:10, “The heavens shall pass away with a roar and the elements will be destroyed with fervent heat and the earth with its works will be burned up”. All of this is in the setting of the end times. Surely this is a reference to an atomic explosion.

The terms

“Science” and

“Religion” are used in many varied situations. Unfortunately neither is consistently defined. Science is a method of observation, logical consideration of all opposing explanations, and the development of a working hypothesis. “Religion” is even more widely defined. Most definitions include a reference to God, whatever one chooses, and the supernatural. The fact that it has to do with God is no reason to rule it out. Whether it is observable or not (many elements in physics are not), the question is what elements of fact or truth are being evaluated. They should not be eliminated because of their invisible character. They should be open to logical analysis.

In the field of “science”, such as paleontology, a significant point of analysis is fossil evidence. In Darwinian theory there is postulated a step-by-step evolutionary process of all living things. This requires the crossing of species lines (not yet in evidence).

Fossil evidence did not begin until the Cambrian geologic age. Then fossils appeared in some abundance. What preceded this? Somewhere there must have been pre-Cambrian life. How did this life begin? For several decades Prof. Stanley Miller, now at University of California, San Diego, has worked to find proof of pre-organic life, that is, life which has sprung up from non-living matter. Despite initial publicity, he has not found the evidence. With Miller as the intelligent designer, some algae was formed. However, by random occurrence, there is no intelligent life. The law of biogenesis (only life produces life) still holds true.

Deficiencies of evidence for developing fossils is a problem. Steven Gould, Harvard paleontologist, proposed the theory of “punctuated equilibrium”. The theory is that there were periods of inactivity in evolutionary development when no fossils were formed. Then there was a period when they were formed. This is a strong admission of the lack of fossil-forming activity during a period of time. Evolutionary theory requires fossil proof in the form of a steady progression of changing species. Another objection was made by Michael Behe, professor at Lehigh University. He called it “irreducible complexity”. His illustration was a mousetrap. During this development the various parts were useless without the other parts. There was no ordinary evolutionary development as would be expected by evolutionists since the parts are useless by themselves.

There are peculiarities in certain specimens. There is no apparent purpose in their development. Why should a caterpillar suddenly metamorphose into a butterfly? What would be the useful purpose? Another example is the somewhat comic creature called the proboscis monkey. It has an extremely long nose which is sometimes grabbed by other monkeys. The long nose contains no useful purpose and leads nowhere.

Evolutionists sometimes manufacture examples for textbooks. An illustration is the “peppered moth”. Its change in coloration to blend with the environment allegedly shows how environment brings about change in the species. In fact, the population of moths reverts back to original colors over time. Hence the peppered moth is fundamentally unchanged. There is no development of a new species in this process. On top of this, for “evidence”, the evolutionists pasted dead moths on tree trunks and photographed them for textbooks. Surely this is a form of deceit.

One of the great arguments for a Creator-Designer (God) is the existence of ideal factors for intelligent life. No other planet but earth has these characteristics. The earth’s axis, speed of rotation, distance from the sun, atmosphere and abundance of water are just some of the essential elements provided for life to exist. Our earth is fine-tuned to the smallest degree. Any alteration of even one of them would make life here impossible. These unique features have launched numerous space expeditions to locate life elsewhere. This is a major project for N.A.S.A. Since Mars in the most (only) suitable planet, there has been much exploration and digging to find even water. The search has been largely unproductive. There are no “canals” on Mars. Its freezing atmosphere would render life impossible.

Most people believe there is life on other planets by reason of movies and concepts like space travel at high speed. In reality these events have never happened. Earth is perfect for intelligent life. There is no evidence that on other planets there is a suitable environment for life.

The science of astronomy has called attention to the orderly movement of planets in our universe. It is so predictable as to be able to date events in the past. Creation witnesses to the action of a divine Creator so all men are without excuse (Rom. 1:20). Thus the Lord has said even to the heathen, “The fool has said in his heart, ‘There is no God’.” (Psa. 14:1)

Even the heathen, without the Scripture or other evidence of divine communication, can clearly see there is a Creator-God bringing about the natural world. This, along with conscience, is witness to the God of the Bible. According to Romans 1:20 and 2:14-15, these are two witnesses of God before the heathen. They are obvious signs to them of a Creator and awareness of right and wrong. Creation and conscience are given to all men so that they are “without excuse.”

Of what use is “Religion” if it does not offer some future life after death? It also gives meaning to our lives here, that it will make the way we live important. The central message of the Gospel is the resurrection of the dead. It is featured in Gospel messages by the Lord and His apostles. He is Jesus the Messiah, raised from the dead. Only Christianity has a living Savior. All other leaders have died. Christ proved His power in raising several people from the dead, including Lazarus whose body had already begun to decay. Finally, He raised Himself on the third day, just as He predicted. Who would make such a promise, risking the success of the whole movement, unless He could do it? His enemies clearly heard the prediction and sought a Roman guard to prevent the disciples from stealing His body and pretending that He was resurrected. Unfortunately even the disciples were not looking for this. They were sad and completely lacking in anticipation of this great event. Even when they were told, “He is alive”, they didn’t believe it. The saddest example is Thomas. He said, “Unless I put my fingers in the wounds of His hand and my hand into the wound in His side, ‘I will not believe’”. Jesus appeared to Thomas and invited him to do this. He fell down at the Lord’s feet crying, “My Lord and my God.” Jesus then appeared before hundreds of witnesses for 40 days. His resurrection was not a product of hallucination. Then He rose to heaven visibly before the disciples as they watched Him ascend. He promised to return.

Edward Gibbon, English historian, ascribed the spread of Christian faith throughout the world to this belief in the resurrection of Christ. Some ardent unbelievers, such as the English publicist Frank Morison, have sought to disprove His resurrection. The unexpected outcome was that Morison became a believer (Who Moved the Stone? by Frank Morison).

The Scriptures say, “These things were not done in a corner” (Acts 26:26). They were public knowledge and in agreement with the facts and personalities of history (Herod, Pilate, etc.). Most Biblical data is confirmed by archaeological discoveries. They are worthy of logical faith.

In summary, according to John Warwick Montgomery, four things should be borne in mind:

1) Religions are incompatible with each other, i.e. they can all be wrong but they cannot all be right.

2) Finding the correct religion requires a search for truth

3) Evidentiary standards for science, law, and history provide a key to establishing the truthfulness of Christianity.

4) The historical validation of Christian faith authenticates an inerrant and understandable written revelation. 1

We offer this in the hope that you too may believe the evidences for faith in Jesus Christ.

Otis Jean Gibson

April 2006

1 Stephen Vantassel, book review of Tractatus Logico-Theologicus by J.W, Montgomery, The Emmaus Journal, Vol.14, No. 1, Dubuque, IA, 2004.

Appendix A

Messianic Prophecy Summary

“O foolish men and slow of heart to believe all that the prophets have spoken” (Luke 24:28).

“Beginning with Moses and with all the Prophets He explained to them the things concerning Himself”(Luke 24:27).

“The one who does not believe God has made Him a liar, because he does not believe in the Witness that God has borne concerning His Son” (I John 5:10).

1. Beginnings of Messiah

The Place – Bethlehem

Micah 5:2, Matt. 2:5-6

The Manner – By a virgin

Isa. 7:14, Matt. 1:23

The Time – After 6th week (483 years)

Dan. 9:25-26 a. Decree of Artaxerxes 444 B.C.

Neh. 2:1-8; Dan. 9:25 b. Entry into Jerusalem 33 A.D., 478 years

2. Names of Messiah

• Immanuel (“God with us”) – Isa. 7:14; Matt. 1:23

• Son of God – Psa. 2:7

• Almighty God – Isa. 9:6

• Prince of Peace – Isa. 9:6

• Jesus (Joshua – “God is Savior”) – Matt. 1:21

• Christ – Messiah “anointed one” – Psa. 2:2; Acts 4:26

• “King of the Jews” – Micah 5:2; Matt. 27:37; John 19:19-21

• Son of David (by both Solomon and David)

3, Office of Messiah (three-fold)

• The King (Psa. 2:6) – Ruler of Nations – Psa. 22:26, King of the Jews

• The Prophet, Teacher, Preacher – Isa. 61:1

• The Great High Priest – Psa. 110:4; Heb. 5:6, 7:26-28

4. Ministry of Messiah

• Coming from Galilee – Isa. 9:11

• To the Gentiles – Isa. 42:14

5. Miracles, Healings, Signs and Wonders

• Signs of the Messiah – Daniel 7:13-14

6. Trial, Crucifixion, and Death of Messiah

• Betrayed by a friend – Psa. 4:9

• Sold for 30 pieces of silver – Zech.11:12

• Accused by false witnesses – Psa. 35:11; 109:2

• Mocked and beaten – Isa. 50:6

• Pierced His hands and feet – Psa. 22:16

• Crucified with transgressors – Isa. 53:12

• Prayed for His crucifiers – Isa.53:12

• Gambled for His garments – Psa. 22:18

• Deserted by God when offered for sin – Psa. 22:1

• Agonized by thirst – Psa.22:15, 69:21

7. Resurrection of Messiah

• Raised from the dead on the third day – Hosea 6:2; Psa.16:10

• Ascended to Heaven – Psa. 68:18

The Big Bang Theory

“The Big Bang Theory” has solid arguments and evidence that it is true. The universe is expanding rapidly from a center, astronomers confirm, apparently from a gigantic explosive force. The antisupernaturalists oppose this because it implies a first cause, and an original “creation” and God, which they reject. However, there are no good alternatives that the creation came into being with a Creator. Their argument is that it came into existence by chance, but chance is just a mathematical prediction, not evidence. In any event, the mathematical laws of probability are overwhelmingly against any conceivable reality. If it came about by chance, certain pre-conditions must have been there beforehand. Who or what set up any such conditions? No piece of “something” could appear as a speck out of nothing. It certainly could not explode as a “Big Bang.” There is no concrete evidence of “many universes” existing which are as “fine-tuned” as our own (by hundreds of factors). There is no concrete evidence of intelligent life, as we understand it, elsewhere in these issues, despite frantic, expensive efforts to discover it. The notion is chiefly sustained by “science fantasy” movies, cartoon strips, and statements by antisupernatural “academics.”

“The Big Bang Theory” is solidly supported by new evidence. Dr. David Whitehouse, Science Editor of the BBC, said in September 2002 that 5,500 hours of observation by a radio telescope at the South Pole, confirming the theory. In May 2002, teams of astronomers released this new data as the strongest evidence to date for the formation of our present universe. The findings were presented to the American Physical Society indicating powerful expansion, called inflation, “in the first instant after the Big Bang.” This evidence of inflation looks very strong, said John Carlstrom, University of Chicago Astronomy Professor. The universe had a “singularity condition” at its beginning, then expanded. Before this, there was “no space,” “no time,” only the Creator or “Intelligent Designer.” The laws of conservation of energy prohibit the spontaneous formation of anything out of “nothing.” Energy cannot be created or destroyed. Matter and energy are two forms of the same thing that can be interchanged but not destroyed, according to Einstein’s Theory of Relativity. Energy tends to decline, not evolve or create upward, according to the principle of entropy (things run down, like clocks). No wonder Fred Hoyle, noted astronomer, who proposed (then disallowed) the “steady state” idea of the universe, said this: “Somebody up there has been monkeying with the laws of physics.” Even antisupernaturalists have admitted grudgingly, “‘Someone’ must have started it all.” The Big Bang was a step, brought about by the “Master Engineer.”

What is your definition of “science”?

1. Do you think that science must explain everything, according to a “theory of natural selection,” plus mutations, and necessarily exclude any suggestions of some kind of Intelligent Designer?

2. Do you think science should follow evidence, without prejudice or partiality, wherever the evidence leads (“true scientific method”).

What are needed questions?

1. Does “natural selection” provably have any inherent creative power? Examples usually given are:

a. “The peppered moth theory” (light to dark). In these shifts, does anything new appear, with any clear directional change? Discovered in the 1980s, it showed that moths do not rest upon tree trunks, and desperate attempts to prove the theory led to gluing dead moths to tree trunks, shown in textbooks. This is now completely discredited.

b. The finch beaks on Galapagos Islands, which Darwin visited. The finches remained finches, shifting beak shapes within stable parameters.

2. Since there is overwhelming belief within academic circles in “natural selection,” plus mutations producing everything out of nothing, how did this come about?

a. Limitations are placed on reality by these circles, who insist on them as their “rules of the game.” The idea of an Intelligent Designer belongs to “religion” and has nothing (they say) that science can confirm by objective evidence. This rests upon a naturalistic explanation theory, which does not overcome the contradictory evidence that such complex details (as with DNA, cellular makeup, or any number of similar factors, are beyond believable explanation on the basis of chance, random, mindless, purposeless. Each cell contains more information than all volumes of an encyclopedia combined, is more complex than any supercomputer encompasses. The human DNA model, when segments are spliced together, is six feet long with 13 billion pairs of letters in a “double helix” structure. The letters represent a code and direct construction of 30,000 proteins from 20 different amino acids, containing information equal to 200,000 telephone books.

b. How do you explain the evidence of design, as naturalists admit, without a Designer. The latter has been designated as The Blind Watchmaker (by Dawkins). He says in his book, “The universe produces an illusion of design,” but it is really random, purposeless.”

c. Is it more reasonable to suppose that “particles” or gases emanating inexplicably from nothing is more reasonable than a Designer (or God)?

3. What about the fossil record, the dinosaurs, the discovery of skull fragments in Africa? Do they not prove evolution by “natural selection” and “random mutations”?

a. If the fossil record proves evolution, there should be evidence of continuity in development at each step and any evidence of hierarchical organization. It’s all random, mindless, therefore essential disorganized, but does this exist? Theodosius Dobzhansky, a distinguished evolutionist (cited in the book What’s Darwin Got to Do With It?, by Robert C. Newman, John L. Wiester, Janet Moneymaker and Jonathan Moneymaker, InterVarsity Press) says that each major group of plants and animals developed hierarchically like a pyramid. Pyramids are built from bottom up. Phylum (a group that has a unity with a direct line of descent within) are built from the bottom down. Life is not a hodgepodge of plants and animals that appeared randomly if “natural selection” were the only process. The fossil record shows that these groups have been organized from the very onset, distinct from one another. One group is called vertebrates with a spinal cord and includes all animals from fish to amphibians to reptiles to mammals, including human beings. The other group is called invertebrates (insects, crabs, lobsters). There are 37 phyla, including worms, jelly fish, mollusks, and coral life. All have completely different body plans. There is clearly a discontinuity in this picture.

b. The second major characteristic of plants and animals is that each major group develops over time in a hierarchical manner, like a pyramid, not in some random way, according to Dobzhansky, an evolutionist. Hierarchical patterns develop among living things in which a major design scheme originates, followed by variations. The fossil record exhibits this hierarchical pattern. There is no necessity of attributing this pattern to undirected, naturalistic forces. The major group, or herd, is supposed by evolutionists to have split off, had mutations, and then the split-off segment rejoined the main group, leaving no fossil record. How convenient is the theoretic speculation! Thus evolution presumably proceeds step by step.

The problem with all this speculation is the relative rarity of transitional forms between groups. Stephen Gould called this “the trade secret of paleontology.” Why is it a secret? Because the fossil record is not good for evolution, despite propaganda to the contrary. New forms of life appear suddenly, already formed, followed by stasis. There are variations but not basic changes from the original forms. Evolution requires step-by-step, progressive changes, leading to new groups. The record does not support this. To deal with this problem, Gould, along with Niles Eldridge, developed a new theory called “punctuated equilibrium.” It proposed a shifting pattern of change which left no fossil record. So much for fossil evidence! It simply did not exist to prove the theory. It was improvable geologically. It replaced Darwinism (not largely laid aside) with New-Darwinism, a new explanation to replace the classic form. Evolutionists cheerfully accept this today as a way out of their dilemma.

Geologic Ages

There are various layers on earth which are defined according to supposed “geological ages.” The earliest of these ages (layers in which life is found in fossil form) is called the Cambrian Period. Pre-Cambrian life is debatable and unproved. For all practical purposes, Cambrian life evidence is all that is available. It originates in what is called “the Cambrian Explosion” (see Newman, Wiester, Moneymaker, and Moneymaker What’s Darwin Got to Do With It?, InterVarsity Press). This explosion is an explosion of design, order coming out of a cluster of biological events, assembling animals into 50 lines of development, 37 of them continued to this day. It involves body plans and, therefore, design. The lines are arranged in a hierarchical manner. Natural selection does not explain this “directive organization.” Prior scientific theories change. At one time, the geosynclines theory explained it all (sediments had depressions and then were filled and subsided with gradually developing mountain chains). Within a few years the theory was replaced by another one called “plate tectonics” (continental drift and seafloor expansion led to mountain formations). Generally, this theory prevails today.

The point of all this explanation is to show how scientific theories do change; they are not facts. The facts of geology point to an explosion of apparently designed organisms, before which there was no life.

THEORIES ABOUT AN IMPERSONAL ORDER

Geo. Roche ( A World Without Heroes, 1987)

1. Universe is uncreated, eternally self-existent, accidental—that it has no purpose—and we have no purpose.

2. The Creator is impersonal—love, compassion, and care merely illusions—having no basis—or morality, justice, mercy

3. The Creator is contained within the universe—then the universe is the ultimate reality, supreme preeminence.

Agnostic (can’t or doesn’t know beliefs on origin of life).

Agnosticism – God’s existence cannot be known. Most eminent early proponent, Immanuel Kant, said, “It would be absurd to represent the Deity as passing into action with an infinitely small part of His being.” He infers a “Deity” with “infinite potency,” and insisted that he did believe in God. But on what basis does he infer his “if God is unknowable”? It was Kant who reasoned that an infinite universe gives rise to the possibility of an infinite number of random chances. Thus, even such improbably events as atoms self-assembling into human beings might be possible. Is this “the scientific method”?

Dr. Roche, a college president, says, “If the universe is simply uncreated, self-existent, or randomly self-assembled, then it has no purpose and consequently we have no purpose. Determinism rules. Morality and religion are ultimately irrelevant and there is no objective meaning to life.”

Dr. Albert Einstein in 1905 published his General Theory of Relativity. He later extended the theory beyond velocity effects to acceleration effects. His own worldview initially kept him from concluding that there is, in fact, a Beginner. He proposed a hypothetical force of physics that would cancel out the deceleration and expansion factors he enumerated. Astronomer Edwin Hubble soon proved that the galaxies were expanding away from each other (predicted by Einstein earlier). Confronted with this, “”Einstein gave grudging acceptance to the ‘necessity for a beginning’ and ‘the presence of a Superior Reasoning Power’” ( The Universe and Dr. Einstein by Lincoln Barnett). Einstein criticized the views of David Hume and Bertrand Russell for neglecting the connection between abstract ideas and the material world ( The Creation Hypothesis, J.P. Moreland, Editor).

The Work of Angels and Demons

The ministry of each of these groups is a feature of both Old and New Testaments. We need to pay close attention to what scripture says. Angels are never likened to little babies, chubby, winged, haloed and “Cute”. Demons are never likened unto devilish, awful appearing little creatures with forked tails. Satan is never seen as a horned creature with a pitchfork, even in a red suit. To the contrary, he is seen as an “angel of Light” (II Cor 11:14) and his ministers as “ministers of righteousness’ (vs.15). What says the scripture?

The angels

The word comes from the Greek angelos and that from the Hebrew word malak, meaning messenger. They are spirit beings, personal, immortal, very great in number (Heb 12:22, Psa. 68:1). They have a hierarchy of authority. There are archangels or chief angels (I Thesa. 4:16, Jude 9). One is named Michael (Jude 6) and is identified with the Nation of Israel. The Jehovah Witnesses cult think he was the pre-incarnation of Jesus, whom they call “a god” (there is no a in original text) but deny He is Almighty God. The only other named angel is Gabriel (Dan 8:16, 9:2, Luke 1:9, 26) who “stood in the presence of God”.

In addition there are the Cherubim and Seraphim. The Cherubim are first mentioned in the expulsion of man from Eden (Gen. 3:28) and represented artistically and symbolically in the tabernacle furnishings (Exod. 25:18, 26:1, 3). They are seen in the visions of God’s glory in Ezek 1:4-24, 10:1-19) and called “the cherubim of glory (Heb. 9:5), They seem to act as guardians of the holiness of God (I Kings 6:23, II Chor. 3:7-10). The Seraphim meaning, “burning” or fiery from the Hebrew seraph (to burn) have wings and fly (Isa. 6:68, 26). These angels give glory to God unceasingly (Rev. 5:11, Heb. 1:6) chanting, “Holy, Holy, Holy”.

Angels are identified with rivers, nations, kingdoms and even churches (Rev. 1:20). They have a close relationship with the history of God’s Kingdom (Matt. 13:39, 18:10, 22:10, 25:31, 26:33, Luke 5:10, 16:22). They are likened to “flames of fire” (Psa. 104:4), pouring out God’s judgments on sinful men and deliver the judgments of God on the world in the end times (Rev. 15:1-8). They strictly enforce God’s Law (Heb. 2:12). They are “destroying angels” of judgment (II Sam 24:16). They refuse worship (Rev. 19:10, 22:8-9) and their worship is heretical (Col. 2:18). They represent children as their guardians under God (Matt. 18:10), as a seeming priority. This intimates that every believer, even a local church has an angel assigned to each one, protecting (Psa. 134:7, Heb. 1:4, 12:24) guiding and strengthening them. Amazing!

They manifest themselves in various ways so you can “entertain angels unaware” (Heb. 13:2). They are interested in God’s dealings with humans, probably at times puzzled (I Pet. 1:22) at this time are higher than man (Psa. 8:5, Heb. 2:7-9) and have greater power (II Pet. 2:11). In eternity, believers will be higher and judge them (I Cor. 6:2-3). They have joy when one sinner repents and comes to the Lord Jesus (Luke 15:10). They are linked with authorities and powers (I Pet. 3:22). They are “mighty” but not equal with God in any way (II Thes. 1:7, Psa. 103:20). The angels will accompany Jesus when He returns to earth (I Thes. 4:16, Rev. 19:14).

“The angel of the Lord” is a term, which deserves special mention. Not every angel is like this one. He is recognized as a pre-incarnate manifestation the Son of God because He is addressed as Deity and has His attributes. In the same way Jesus was also a man and the messenger (angel) of the Lord. This is seen in Old Testament Scriptures like Exod. 14:19, 3:1, possibly Gen. 16:2, Judges 6:12,14, other instances. They are “Theophanies” (manifestations of God) in such passages as Gen. 18, where three men become one as Lord. Or two angels and God, these where called Metatron by Jewish sages.

Other angels are not heirs of God, or subject to salvation as sinners or know the joy of redeemed sinners. God is never called the Father of angels only the Father of believing saints. Once fallen as in the past they are beyond forgiveness or salvation.

This brings up the subject of “evil angels” (Psa. 78:44) who are the fallen angels of Isa 14:12-14, Rev. 12:3-4 and Jude 6. There is sometimes conflict between angel armies. Michael and his angels fight against the Dragon (Satan) and his angels (Rev. 12:7) these are the angels who “kept not their first estate” (II Pet. 2:4) drawn away by Satanic deceit (Rev. 12:4). They are “angels of darkness” (Dan. 10:11-14) who followed the Prince of darkness. They have become the core of the spiritual force of wickedness (Eph. 6:22). They are reserved for final judgment (II Pet. 2:4); along with their master Satan (Matt. 25:41), forever and ever (Rev. 12:7-9). His destiny is the lake of fire (Rev. 20:7-10).

His defection is a tragedy of pride. Once called Lucifer, “son of the morning”, foremost of the angelic hierarchy, he turned from God with five mighty “I wills” (Isa. 14:12-14). He wanted to replace God. Once blameless, resplendent in beauty and wisdom, “the anointed cherub” was expelled for the corruption of his power by pride (Ezek. 28:12-17). He then became known as the Devil, (accuser, slanderer) and Satan (adversary), He is the tempter in his ministry (Mat. 4:3, I Thess. 3:5). He is “the ruler of the world (Kosmos) (John 12:31, 14:30), Yes, “the god of this world” (age) (II Cor. 4:4). He is “ the father of lies”, or “the liar” (John 8:44) He is deceitful, often using “if” questions about God’s Word and then contradicting it (Gen. 3:1-4) He may assume the outward form of a serpent, and, is called “The Serpent” (Rev. 12:9, 12-15, 20:2). He was termed Beelzebub, prince of the demons (Matt. 12:24, Mark 3:20) the name coming from a Philistine deity. He is the symbolic dragon of Rev. 20:2 (see also Rev. 12:3-17, 13:2, 16:13).

Angelic Ministry to Believers

Believers scarcely realize the assistance provided by God’s angelic messengers.

1. They give strength when they are weak, afflicted, tempted, and discouraged. It was so with Moses who was promised that God’s angel would lead them in the Exodus (Exod. 23:23, Num. 20:16). It was so with Daniel (10:31, 9:22-23). It was so with Jacob (Gen. 32). It was so with the Lord Jesus when tempted.

2. They sustain believers as with Elijah when he fled from Jezebel (I Kings 19:6-8). They carry his people (Psa. 63:9).

3. They are instructors, guides in matters of the word, God’s will. One guided Philip to the Ethiopian church (Acts 8:26). They conveyed God’s prophetic revelations to many (Matt. 1:20-21) as well as Joseph, Zacharias (Luke 1:12-13) the shepherds (Luke 2:9-10) and others. Satan misapplied Psa. 91:11-12 which promises protection to tempt Jesus to use his power to publicly “show off” a miracle.

4. They deliver and protect in times of danger. In II Kings 6:14-18, the King of dram (Syria) sent horses, chariots and a great army to surround a city of Samaria where Elisha was (v. 14). The servant of Elisha feared these soldiers (v. 15). The prophet responded, “Do no fear for those who are for us (which were unseen) are greater than those against us.” He prayed, “Lord open his eyes”. Then the servant saw the mountain was full of horses and chariots all around Elisha (v. 17). Obviously, this was an angelic host. We also need to see the unseen hosts, which serve to protect us.

Ruth Bell Graham told of an incident in Shanghai bookstore where a mysterious stranger appeared and halted Japanese soldiers from seizing Christian book stocks. Everyone believed that this was an angel in the disguise of a Chinese gentleman. What else would have stopped these soldiers?

In his book on “Angels, God’s Secret Agents’, Billy Graham wrote:

"John G. Paton, a missionary in the New Hebrides Islands, tells a thrilling story involving the protective care of angels. Hostile natives surrounded his mission headquarters one night, intent on burning the Patons out and killing them. John Paton and his wife prayed all during that terror-filled night that God would deliver them. When daylight came they were amazed to see the attackers unaccountably leave. They thanked God for delivering them.

A year later, the chief of the tribe was converted to Jesus Christ, and Mr. Paton, remembering what had happened, asked the chief what had kept him and his men from burning down the house and killing them. The chief replied in surprise, “Who were all those men you had with you there?” The missionary answered, “There were no men there; just my wife and I.” The chief argued that they had seen many men standing guard-hundred of big men in shining garments with drawn swords in their hands. They seemed to circle the mission station so that the natives were afraid to attack. Only then did Mr. Paton realize that God had sent His angels to protect them. The chief agreed that there was no other explanation. God had sent a legion of angels to protect His servants."

Angels do not seem to preach the gospel. They are not redeemed sinners and can not properly proclaim the grace of God to such. That is our job. Nevertheless, they were sent to Zacharius and Elizabeth, parents of John the Baptist to announce the birth of him who was the Savior’s forerunner (Luke 1:13, 16). They spoke to many about the coming of her son, and to her cousin Elizabeth (Luke 1:47), as will as to Joseph (Matt. 1:21). They spoke to the shepherds (Luke 1:52-53). They spoke to Peter when Cornelius came (Acts 10), They can influence parents in raising Godly children as many notable missionaries and evangelists have testified.

In the life of Jesus they strengthened Him as the Son of Man when tempted and weak from fasting (Matt. 4:11). They did the same in the garden of Gethsemane (Luke 12:42). At her death he said that 12 legions of angels stood by to assist Him. One angel alone destroyed the entire Assyrian army on an occasion. They encouraged believers upon His departure in ascending to Heaven, “He will come again” (Acts 1:11).

They are agents of God’s judgment. They warned Abraham about the coming fate of Sodom (Gen. 18). They defended Israel against the Assyrian army (II Kings 19). They stood by to destroy Jerusalem of God’s command (I Chron. 21:1, II Sam. 24:16, 17). The killed Herod Agrippa (Acts 12:22). They administer death to these who reject Jesus finally (Matt. 13:50). They divide the saved from the lost when Jesus returns to earth (Matt 13:41). He will return with angels (II Thess. 1:14). They will gather his chosen ones (Matt. 25:31).

Angels watch believers to see how they keep God’s Word, even as they do (I Tim. 5:21). Even when martyred, believers are a “spectacle” to them (I Cor. 4:9). The church is an object lesson of the grace of God to sinners, once enemies (Eph. 3:10), of which they nothing experientially. When even one sinner repents on earth and bows the knee to the Lord Jesus they rejoice. Upon his death angels took the beggar to Abraham’s bosom (Heaven) and left the rich, self-indulgent man to hell.

Billy Graham tells the story of the death of D. L. Moody, famed 19th century evangelist the Graham of his day.

"When he was aware that death was at hand, he said, “Earth recedes, heaven opens before me.” It appeared as though he was dreaming. Then he said, “No, this is no dream... it is beautiful, it is like a trance. If this is death, it is sweet. There is no valley here. God is calling me, and I must go.”

After having been given up for dead, Moody revived to indicate that God had permitted him to see beyond that thin veil separating the seen from the unseen world. He had "been within the gates, and beyond the portals,” and had caught a glimpse of familiar faces whom he had “loved long since and lost awhile.” Then he could remember when he had proclaimed so vociferously earlier in his ministry, “some day you will read in the papers that D. L. Moody of East Northfield is dead. Don’t you believe a word of it. At that moment I shall be more alive than I am now. I shall have gone up higher, that is all - out of this old clay tenement into a house that is immortal; a death is called our “last enemy” (I Cor. 15:29) and the Lord will overcome it. Indeed He has by His sacrificial and substitutionary death.""

In dealing with Satanic forces, we must be mindful that we do not struggle against earthly powers or dangers alone. It is against “spiritual forces of wickedness in high places (Eph. 6:10). Therefore we are not to give way, give up or try to simply escape, but to resist him (I Pet. 5:1, James 4:7) and never give him an opportunity to undermine our life and testimony (Eph. 4:27).

Our future state will be that of the unmarried celibate; and we shall be “as the angels” (Matt. 22:10). From this we see that angels have no “seed”, despite some ideas to the contrary.

The ministry of angels is great, eternal, but always under God’s jurisdiction, just as we as His children should realize that we are also.

The Activity of Demons

What of these creatures? Demons are likely the ”evil angels” or fallen angels which have already been mentioned. The word comes from daimon (G) meaning devil. One title for Satan is the Devil, diablos, meaning accuser or slanderer. He is called “the prince of demons” under the name Beelzebub (Mark 3:2, Matt. 9:34, 12:24) indicating his leadership over them. In Acts 17:18 the Athenians thought Paul was setting forth-strange gods; (in Greek the word was demons). The man called Legion (Mark 5:9, 15, Luke 8:30) is the most notable example of a demon possessed man, having so many of them that he was named Legion after a Roman military unit containing 6,000 soldiers. Normally people with certain illnesses were thought always to be demon possessed which is not true in all cases. Yet some are (Matt. 12:22-28) John the Baptist was accused of being demon possessed (Matt. 11:18), for his accusers thought he spoke as a mad or crazy man. Certainly some kinds of mad and evil behavior come from this (serial killers, violent men) showing seemingly supernatural power or drives. The man called Legion went around naked, cutting himself and could not even be held by shackles.

Not all demonically controlled people exhibit this kind of demons. Some “ministers” are transformed as “ministers of righteousness” (II Cor. 11:15). In I Tim. 4:1 it speaks of “doctrines of demons”, associated with “seducing spirits” obviously, the demon as seducing spirit associated with false teachers. They, like the religious leaders of Jesus’ day, appear beautiful “outward”, but are just “whited sepulchres”, full of dead mans’ bones”. They were spiritually dead ministers teaching falsehood to their unsuspecting flocks. So it is today, demonically controlled “Ministers” found heretical and Christ-denying cults. Many ministers in “Christian” pulpits and “Christian theological seminaries” propagate heretical teaching. They say, “There are no such things as demons”. It is difficult to see them as demonically controlled, but it may be so.

People may be demon-possessed, as Legion, on in his final days, Judas Iscariot and many others. We do not believe this can happen to a believer. This would be incompatible with the indwelling of the Holy Spirit. It can happen when maintaining a false profession of faith. More commonly, people can be demonically oppressed, as they would include believers who would be tormented, discouraged, afflicted and harassed.

There are armies of invisible spirit beings humans caught in the middle. There is “war in Heaven” (Rev. 12:26-27), highly placed conflict. People need to remember Eph. 6:12 “We wrestle not against flesh and blood but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of darkness in this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places”.

Nevertheless the victory is assured for good over evil. The forces of evil are destined for “everlasting chains of darkness (II Pet. 2:4). That is surely eternal punishment, not annihilation. Such being the case what manner of people ought we to be? (II Pet. 3:11). We should be looking for ‘the coming of the day of God’, when Jesus returns to earth in glory (v. 12). Are you looking? Are you preparing?

Distinctives of the NT Church

Virtually every Christian organization and church has what is called a “statement of faith”. Unfortunately, very few of regular attendees ever read them. Among evangelicals there is a common denominator among the creeds centered in the basics of true salvation. They usually cover elements in what is called “the Nicene Creed”. This was based on an agreement among leaders of the church at that time (4th century) as to what must be believed by true Christians. They did not create any items listed. They simply formalized what was believed since the apostolic era. This creed has guided other statements and is solidly Biblical.

There is one area which they did not cover until the twentieth century. This refers to the organization and function of the local church. Why is there a need for its inclusion? It is because of a considerable number of New Testament verses which tell us how the early church functioned. Why should it matter? First, because the Lord Jesus Himself is the Head and His work is to build this church (Matt. 16:18). We believe the pattern of local churches today should function under His headship according to the principles of that day, although not necessarily the details. The latter would cover such matters as Sunday School and timing of the meetings. Principles would include leadership or officials (elders, deacons), the central meeting (Breaking of Bread) and opportunity for use of all gifts by those in active fellowship.

What are the distinctives of the New Testament church? These are the major distinctives of the local church in New Testament times:

1. There is a celebration on the Lord’s Day called the Breaking of Bread (communion) which is the central gathering of believers (Acts 20:7). There is multiple audible participation by the men (I Cor. 14:26) and silent worship by the women (I Cor. 14:34). Worship is addressed directly to God alone and consists of more than singing.

2. There is no distinction between so-called clergy and laity (clericalism). All believers are priests (I Pet. 2:5, 9). Leadership in the church is not limited to the head pastor. Leadership should involve more than one man (Phil. 1:1). There are no special religious titles according to Scripture, such as Reverend or Bishop. The latter word is a translation used in I Tim. 3:1-2, Titus 1:7, Acts 20:28 which is meant to include all elders (Acts 20:17, Titus 1:5). It also refers to pastors and shepherds (I Pet. 5:1-5). Another translation is overseers, referring to care of the flock. The word is familiarly used of God as the Shepherd of His people (Psalm 23, John 10:11, Heb.13:20). There is no Biblical authority for these men to wear special clothing (clerical garments) or wear crosses. Plain clothing such as worn by ordinary shepherds or even the Lord Jesus is the example.

3. No denominational names or sectarian labels are authorized in Scripture (Catholic, Orthodox, Baptist, Lutheran, Anglican, Episcopal, etc.). All Christians are called saints, believers, brothers and sisters. All true believers are the people of God, part of His family, not separated by divisive labels as sects (I Cor. 1:13).

4. There should be opportunity for those in fellowship to exercise whatever spiritual gifts, as given by God, exist within the local church (I Cor. 12:1-7). This obviously includes preaching or teaching the Word, pastoral visitation, counseling and varied leadership roles. This should not be restricted to either one man or a hired staff.

Aside from these major distinctives, there are two other important doctrines that should be taught and practiced. These are:

1. Believer’s baptism, rather than infant baptism is very important. This is commanded by the Lord Jesus and is part of what is called the Great Commission (Matt. 28:19). Its condition is that you believe in your heart in the Lord Jesus and trust alone in His substitutionary death on the cross (Acts 8:36-37). Everyone who believes the Gospel (I Cor. 15:1-4) and accepts Jesus as Lord (Rom. 10:9), which includes believing He was raised from the dead, ought to be baptized. No infant can believe this and there is no provision for such baptisms in the New Testament. There is no mention of such things as godparents making a commitment to guide you into the knowledge of God’s way of salvation. There is no mention of a later catechism class (memorizing doctrinal statements). There is no such practice as a confirmation service in which a “bishop” lays his hands on someone’s head and pronounces the person to be a Christian. Many people are trusting their hope of salvation on pre-conversion baptism. The manner of New Testament baptism is by immersion, not sprinkling water on the forehead. The act symbolizes the way of salvation by reason of His death, burial and resurrection, taken completely underwater and raised out of it (Acts 8:38-39). Believer’s baptism is called being “buried with Him” (Rom. 6:4, Col. 2:12). It is a memorial of our identification with Christ in His burial and resurrection. Is baptism by water required to wash away our sins (baptismal regeneration or the new birth)? No, only the blood of Jesus cleanses from sins (I John 1:7, Heb. 9:22). What is the purpose of believer’s baptism? It is “the answer of a good conscience towards God” (I Pet. 3:21), not to cleanse away our sins, called “the removal of dirt from the flesh (sins)”. It is our public confession of Christ as our Lord and Savior. If baptism helped to save us Paul would not have said that he personally baptized very few (I Cor. 1:14-17). Baptism still is commanded for a convert after conversion, although not essential when critical illness or like experiences makes it impossible (Luke 23:42-43).

2. The other doctrine which is important, although not required, is what is called eternal security. This means believing that once a person is truly converted, then his or her salvation is eternal (John 5:24, Heb. 10:14). The new birth takes us into the family of God (John 3:3-8, I Pet. 1:23). There is no such thing as being born again the second time, just as physical birth is not repeated.

There are other considerations to be borne in mind in functions of the local church.

1. How is the work of the Lord to be financed? Certainly it is not by the support of unbelievers who are often attenders at the morning preaching service on the Lord’s Day. The Lord Jesus is never recorded as seeking funds from any observer coming to listen to his teaching. Monetary gifts were given to the Twelve for their support. (Judas was the treasurer) but never solicited. Paul worked to support his own ministry when funds were short (Acts 18:3). Many times the churches which he helped establish failed to send money in fellowship (Phil. 4:11-12) but he did not complain or solicit. God’s work should be supported by God’s people, “taking nothing of the Gentiles” or unsaved (III John 7). Believers are to contribute regularly, proportionately, and systematically (I Cor. 16: 1-2). There is no authority for seeking pledges or asking for money as commonly practiced today. To “live by faith” is to depend on God for support.

2. It is popular to copy the programs of nationally known mega-churches (Willows Creek--Saddleback). Imitating the style of well-known preachers’ techniques and elaborate facilities are used for growth in attendance. Mostly these churches drain membership from small churches. They do not rely on the Spirit for power and blessing (Zech.4:6). People live on the spiritual food of one hour per week. There is great emphasis in special music rather than systematic and powerful teaching of the Word which challenges believers and wins souls for Christ. Unlike the prophets they give messages that show relevance to temporal issues with a large dose of what is called “psychobabble”. MacDonald, Hunt and the Bobkins critique “the psychologizing of the church “(self esteem, positive thinking). There certainly is very little of crying out against the sins of the people and especially avoiding disturbing them by the thought of eternal punishment (never mention hell, although Jesus certainly did).

3. Missions emphasis especially on needy parts of the world should be an active concern of any New Testament church. Are workers being trained to go out to the unreached billions of souls in the Muslim world, India and even in Europe where state churches have withered and died?

4. Is personal discipling (one on one) or leadership training emphasized? This creates new workers for the harvest field.

5. It is important to have a strong community emphasis in order to draw those needing salvation. Small group evangelistic studies can bring in people who do not go to church on the Lord’s Day. This can be reinforced by a vigorous home visitation effort.

In summation, is the local church a key area of emphasis, emulating the preaching of the Lord Jesus, the Apostles and Old Testament prophets? Are you seeing souls saved, baptized, and added regularly to the local church (Acts 5:14)? Then you are truly a New Testament church.

OJG 1/17/2006

Genesis, Exodus, & Shepherding

Gibson, Jean | Seattle Shepherds Renewal Conference 1977-01 Pastoral Visitation | –1977– | 00:40:32 | 4.6 | English Gibson, Jean | Seattle Shepherds Renewal Conference 1977-02 Pastoral Visitation | –1977– | 00:46:19 | 5.3 | English Gibson, Jean | Seattle Shepherds Renewal Conference 1977-03 Pastoral Visitation | –1977– | 00:45:16 | 5.1 | English Gibson, Jean | Seattle Shepherds Renewal Conference 1977-04 Pastoral Visitation | –1977– | 00:45:21 | 5.1 | English Gibson, Jean | Seattle Shepherds Renewal Conference 1977-05 Pastoral Visitation | –1977– | 00:44:25 | 5.8 | English Gibson, Jean | Seattle Shepherds Renewal Conference 1977-06 Pastoral Visitation | –1977– | 00:56:51 | 6.5 | English Gibson, Jean | Sheep And Shepherding-01 The Calling Of Shepherding | 00:48:26 | 5.5 | English Gibson, Jean | Sheep And Shepherding-02 The Need For Shepherding | 00:36:01 | 4.1 | English Gibson, Jean | Sheep And Shepherding-03 The Sheep And Shepherding | 00:36:01 | 4.1 | English Gibson, Jean | Studies In Exodus-01 Chapters 1-2 | –1973– | 00:49:11 | 5.6 | English Gibson, Jean | Studies In Exodus-02 Chapters 3-4 | –1973– | 00:58:05 | 6.6 | English Gibson, Jean | Studies In Exodus-03 Chapters 4-11 | –1973– | 01:01:43 | 7.6 | English Gibson, Jean | Studies In Exodus-04 Chapters 12-15 | –1973– | 00:59:31 | 6.8 | English Gibson, Jean | Studies In Exodus-05 Chapters 15-18 | –1973– | 01:01:58 | 7.9 | English Gibson, Jean | Studies In Exodus-06 The Law | –1973– | 00:48:00 | 5.5 | English Gibson, Jean | Studies In Genesis-1973-01 Chapters 12-13 | –1973– | 00:40:35 | 4.6 | English Gibson, Jean | Studies In Genesis-1973-02 Chapters 14-15 | –1973– | 01:00:00 | 6.9 | English Gibson, Jean | Studies In Genesis-1973-03 Chapters 16-17 | –1973– | 00:30:06 | 3.4 | English Gibson, Jean | Studies In Genesis-1973-04 Chapters 18-19 | –1973– | 01:01:17 | 7.1 | English Gibson, Jean | Studies In Genesis-1973-05 Chapters 20-21 | –1973– | 00:11:52 | 1.3 | English Gibson, Jean | Studies In Genesis-1973-06 Chapters 24-25 | –1973– | 01:09:40 | 7.1 | English Gibson, Jean | Studies In Genesis-1973-07 Chapters 26-27 | –1973– | 00:58:39 | 6.7 | English Gibson, Jean | Studies In Genesis-1973-08 Chapters 28-31 | –1973– | 01:02:08 | 7.1 | English Gibson, Jean | Studies In Genesis-1973-09 Chapters 32-36 | –1973– | 00:57:50 | 6.6 | English Gibson, Jean | Studies In Genesis-1973-10 Chapters 37-39 | –1973– | 00:58:04 | 6.6 | English Gibson, Jean | Studies In Genesis-1973-11 Chapters 40-44 | –1973– | 00:59:05 | 6.7 | English Gibson, Jean | Studies In Genesis-1973-12 Chapters 45-50 | –1973– | 01:01:46 | 7.7 | English

Responsibility Counseling

1. The Growing Demand for Counseling

2. Confusion from Integration of Secular and Christian Thinking

3. Fundamental Principles of Biblical Counseling

4. Favorable Qualities for Biblical Counselors

5. Diverse Situations Encountered in Counseling

6. Self-Love or Self-Sacrifice

7. The Exchanged Life

8. Recognizing Root Causes and Symptoms

9. Encouraging Change Through Counseling

10. The Importance of Repentance

11. Ministering to the Unhappily Married

12. Pre-Marital Counseling

13. Other Counseling Problems

The Growing Demand For Counseling

Since the fall of man, when sin entered into the world, growing numbers of human beings have been beset by fears, conflicts and unresolved problems. Although believers have not been rendered immune by the Lord from these ills, they seem greater in those who are unreconciled to God. The many causes, which certainly include sin, are not some recent development of a complex society or strife-torn world. In Ecclesiastes 1:9 we are assured that: “There is nothing new under the sun.”

In attempting to deal with these problems, men have invented an impressive array of diagnostic terms, or psychological labels, with multiple therapies to deal with each of them. Some of these therapies may seem to have a changing effect, but many are more harmful instead of helping. Only a very few kinds of therapies are accepted today as helpful even by psychotherapy researchers but they are not with total agreement. Patients’ reports about positive changes after such treatments often prove to be superficial. Some must be judged as totally wrong according to Scripture. Ungodly ways, may lead people away from the truth which alone is to be found in Christ Jesus. An unbiblical, humanistic life view is the basis of all recent therapy. The truth about men which God has revealed to us in the Scriptures doesn’t play a role in these therapies.

It is obvious that when any counselor, secular or Bible oriented, exhibits sincere concern, understanding, warmth and a listening ear, they are much more effective. They create trust, they encourage. On this basis, even a friend can provide such help as well as a professional. Some professional therapies may seem to succeed on this basis alone.

God’s people were told long ago that, “Man’s steps are ordained by the Lord. How then can man understand his way?” (Proverbs 20:24) The Psalmist asked, “Who can understand his errors?” (Psalm 19:12). These and other like verses seem to indicate that troubled people require clear spiritual guidance to be helped in a fundamental way. We certainly need a higher wisdom to guide us in thinking and acting correctly. The Lord is that Wisdom. He is the Wonderful Counselor we all need (Isaiah 9:6). The Lord is the One “in whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge” (Colossians 2:3). He is the truth (John 14:7), and truth about ourselves is what we need to understand.

The majority of counselees have a spiritual problem in some way, even if it is only one of attitude toward difficulties. The starting point of discussion ought to be the counselee’s relationship with God rather than his relationship with others, especially in the earlier years of life. Most counselees claim to have some kind of relationship with God, however remote it might be. If this is not true, they need to be regenerated. It is an essential part of the solution. Otherwise, they may need to examine the quality of their walk with God and the degree to which this corresponds to their profession of faith in Christ. This is the work of a spiritual counselor, grounded in the Word, not a secular type of advisor. So-called emotional problems may be spiritual problems under another name.

What about chemical changes in the body, or other physiological problems in troubled people? It may be that some people need to see a medical doctor for a thorough examination. There are various factors such as cancers, hormonal imbalances, deficiencies of various kinds, even simple exhaustion, which can effect the mind and soul of man. Medications can and do help some people. We would not deny this in any way. But counselors are not in the business of practicing medicine where such is needed. Even doctors have begun to recognize the value of prayer and spiritual comfort in such places as hospices for the terminally ill. As believers, we should be utilizing prayer as the major weapon in our spiritual warfare, whether the doctors believe in it or not. It is an accepted proverb in many quarters that doctors may treat but only God heals.

Because God is invisible, or because of our lack of faith, the Lord does not seem to be quite sufficient for most people. We desire to have intermediaries, human counselors or helpers, to show us the way. So we seek a multitude of counselors (Proverbs 11:14; 15:22; 24:6), not all of them either wise or godly. God is prepared to grant His guidance to those who fully trust Him and who are ready to accept His counsel. The person most easily helped is the one who is genuinely willing to listen and to act upon good counsel. God’s counsel is most often given through those who are in touch with Him and act as His channels. He could, of course, speak as a voice from heaven, or in a dream or a vision. Yet it appears that God uses people for this mission, especially those who rely upon His Word. Counsel from God is according to His Word, and never contrary to it.

The local church has been swamped by a growing number of individuals seeking some kind of counseling. The numbers are so great that no one person, or even two, could attend successfully to so many. They can overwhelm a gifted teacher or sympathetic elder and thus consume all of his time. Many churches have resorted to referring people to outside professionals and “licensed counselors” who usually charge a substantial fee. Is this method the only alternative for God’s troubled people? Is it His revealed will to bypass those within the church who ought to be able to help? Are there none wise enough or competent enough among us to render this assistance to Christ’s sheep (1 Corinthians 6:3-5; Romans 15:14)?

It would seem that the local church ought to have the primary role in this ministry of counseling, just as would be the case if the believer was suffering from a temporal need, such as food or housing. Some of the believers in the church ought to be set apart to participate in this ministry. Every believer can help to some degree, but not all have the necessary gifts to do the job well. We will deal later with some desirable qualifications. Some people may rush in too quickly to give ready advice which is not really of God. Others, who might be more helpful, are hesitant because they feel inadequate or because they have not had special training. Most counseling or advising is done by non-professionals such as relatives, friends, acquaintances or peers. This advice may be helpful or not. It may be divinely inspired or misguided. This volume is written with the hope that it will help ordinary spiritual believers in the church to think through some principles that may be of practical assistance. We offer some workable, simple ideas that are within the boundaries of Holy Scripture.

We must not rely upon merely human techniques as major keys for successful counseling. What is needed is the transformation of human lives, beginning in the inner life. This is particularly the work of the Holy Spirit in a yielded vessel. The prophet wrote, “Not by might, nor by power, but by My Spirit, says the Lord” (Zechariah 4:6). The Lord Jesus said, “Without Me you can do nothing” (John 15:5).

The key principle of this book is that of responsibility. By this we mean that we insist that each individual must assume personal responsibility for his or her own actions, attitudes, decisions, and responses. We should stop blaming others, past or present, for things we are not happy about. We should stop thinking of ourselves as victims. Blame-shifting and making scapegoats out of other people or of societal forces usually leads to bitterness, hopelessness and helplessness. The beginning of this fruitless practice is first seen in the garden of Eden (Genesis 3:9-13). It is notable that God paid no attention to their efforts to blame one another. By taking need action ourselves we can improve most situations. By changing our attitudes, forgiving others, accepting graciously what is painful, being broken in self-will before God, we can make progress.

Profound life changes must start from the inside first, the inner being of man. In the Bible this is called, in figurative language, “the heart of man.” The prophet Jeremiah writes, “The heart is more deceitful than all else and is desperately sick. Who can understand it?” (Jeremiah 17:9). The tendency to deceive ourselves, and to deceive others, is a hindrance to successfully solving life’s problems. Honesty is essential, with God, with others, and with the counselor. Spiritual discernment by the counselor is important in listening and questioning those seeking help. This is what takes us to the core of matters, beyond the superficial and the obvious. Inner change ultimately requires both sincere openness by the counselee and the supernatural help of God. Such counseling calls for prayer. The actions of all must be anchored in genuine faith which perseveres. This is not formal, ritualistic requests to God.

The godly counselor must deal sensitively with those seeking help. Like the ministry of the Holy Spirit, working within God’s people, you and I must see ourselves as the ones alongside, the helpers (John 14:26). We need to be filled with the Holy Spirit to do this (Ephesians 5:18). When we listen perceptively and carefully we can see what others might miss. When we use the Word of God at appropriate times, we are using a powerful tool of spiritual challenge (Hebrews 4:12). When we are motivated both by the love of Christ (2 Corinthians 5:14), and a love for others, rather than personal gain, it is manifestly apparent to others. It strengthens their confidence and their willingness to respond. It is in particular the one who is spiritual who can best restore others (Galatians 6:1).

Long ago the Lord Jesus challenged Simon Peter as to whether he truly loved Him (John 21:15-17). He said that he did, although his word for love was a weaker one than what Jesus had used. The Lord then commanded him three times to demonstrate this by taking care of His sheep. Taking care of people in a spiritual way is an essential ministry of the body of believers. The purpose of this book is to help believers meet this responsibility in the best possible way.

RC Questions Lesson 1 The Growing Demand For Counseling

1. 1. Why do you think so many people today, as compared to previous periods of history, are seeking counselors, psychologists, psychiatrists and help from “support groups”?

2. 2. There is a strong tendency today to explain behavioral problems in people in terms like “chemical imbalances”, or attribute them to past negative experiences going all the way back to the womb. Do you feel that in the majority of cases, these factors are the major cause of so-called “psychological problems”? Explain your answer.

3. 3. If local church leaders or spiritually mature people in their assemblies are to be of greater help to troubled people, what do you think needs to be done?

4. 4. Why is it necessary to make the acceptance of personal responsibility a keystone of the counseling process? If not, what then is necessary?

Confusion From Integration Of Secular And Christian Thinking

Titles like “Christian Counseling” and “Biblical Counseling” are commonly used today in the church. But what is the definition of these terms? Usually, it means that the counselors profess to be Christians and seek to counsel from this perspective. What many of these people do however, is to integrate or merge the principles of secular psychology and the Bible. Reliance is placed mostly on the secular. They are running more on the worldly track of thinking, rather than inductively developing their approach strictly from Biblical principles. Since they write and speak as Christians, backed by their secular degrees and experience, their views are accepted as authoritative by many within the church.

The attempted integration of the secular and the Biblical ways is quite amazing, considering who strongly influenced the secular way. One of the main areas of psychotherapy is psychoanalysis whose founding father is Sigmund Freud. He dismissed religious doctrine as an illusion, and compared religion to a narcotic, which was swallowed only by neurotic people. Gary Collins, a Christian counseling teacher from Trinity Seminary, says, “To put it mildly, psychology and Christianity have never been very good friends.” The most influential teachers, whose methods and “insights” guide the thinking of current Christian counseling leaders today, are Carl Rogers and Abraham Maslow. These two men are considered to be the founders of the humanistic psychology movement. The former is an apostate from Christianity who was involved in the occult. The latter was a defector from Judaism. Yet today, anyone who criticizes current trends and influences, which come from these sources, is considered to be a troublemaker and a backward thinker. Psychology, in it’s massive invasion of the church’s thinking, has become something of a sacred cow, held high by many and immune to criticism. Most impressive objections to secular psychology, and its parent, psychiatry, comes from its own ranks of professionals, not from the Christian community.

Bernie Zilbergeld, a professionally trained psychologist, is brutally frank in his assessment of the profession of which he is a member. He asks, “…whether or not professionals produce better results than those without special training. The answer, hard as it may be to accept, is that they don’t.”1 He adds, “The evidence simply will not support either the idea of therapeutic uniqueness or professional supremacy.”2 He quotes psychologist Joseph Durlak, “Professionals do not necessarily possess demonstrably superior clinical skills, in terms of measurable outcome, when compared with para-professionals.”3 Zilbergeld marvels that those who have spent so much time and money on “therapy” are unwilling to admit to the lack of results. They seem to go from specialist to specialist, program to program, counselor to counselor, without questioning the ineffectiveness of the advice and counsel already given. The only benefit is that the patients seem to feel better at the time, especially when someone listens sympathetically.

Of course, it is true, as Zilbergeld states, that some people may need medications. But these can only be prescribed by medical doctors, not by psychologists or counselors. We have already stated that, when needed, you can refer people to doctors for physical examinations. The medication called lithium is helpful to many people who have been diagnosed as “manic depressives.” Others may need prescriptions to calm hysteria or excessive agitation. Some may be helped by what are called anti-depressant drugs. Yet it should be remembered that these drugs only help to treat or manage the symptoms. Wise doctors prefer the word treat to the word cure. These medicines are not cures. It is the work of counseling to deal with underlying attitudes of the mind. In this area, it has been estimated that there are as many as 250 different approaches or methods of psychological or psychotherapeutic treatment. None of them unquestionably stands above all others or has universal acknowledgment. Extravagant claims are made for the success of this or that method by those who espouse them. However, the difficulty is in proving that clear, measurable results can be duplicated by others using the same method.

One of the problems in this field is the use of the term mental illness to describe what is wrong. In this way, mental or emotional problems are considered to be in the same category as influenza or other diseases of the body. This is called the medical model. Finding the cause of these mental problems by laboratory tests has proven to be quite difficult, despite strenuous efforts. It was the eminent psychiatrist Dr. Thomas Szasz, of the State University of New York, who was the first outspoken professional to say that “mental illness” was a myth, without true scientific foundation. He linked the traditional ideas of psychiatry with things such as astrology and called it “pseudo-science.”4 He said, “Mental illness might have been a useful concept in the nineteenth century. Today it is scientifically worthless and socially harmful.”5 There are a number of doctors with advanced degrees in this field who agree. Certainly there are others who would not agree. A medical doctor is fine for someone with a genuine medical problem having a physiological basis. With that statement few would disagree. There have been strong efforts by proponents of the psychological field to try to intimidate pastors and other believers from attempting to function in this field, saying that they could do great harm. This leaves the impression that professional counselors can do no harm.

The abandonment of what might be called the Moral Model in counseling (right vs. wrong) for the Medical Model (misconduct is sickness) is a complete turnabout in thinking about behavior over the past hundred plus years. This is strikingly true in the church. It was a non-Christian psychologist, Dr. Hobart Mowrer, of the University of Illinois, who asked, “Has evangelical religion sold its birthright for a mess of psychological pottage?”6 In Mowrer’s treatment of mental patients he insisted on their taking personal responsibility for their actions, not blaming others. It was the renowned psychiatrist Karl Menninger, head of the famous clinic in Topeka, Kansas, who wrote a book called, Whatever Happened to Sin? He challenged the church’s contemporary failure to confront sinful behavior and their willingness to accept excuses.

It is just this tendency to accept questionable excuses for misconduct that seems to be a feature of counseling with a secular orientation. Beginning with Freud, there was a relentless pursuit for alleged causative factors, going all the way back to a person’s birth. The counselee was viewed as a victim of these factors, but not personally responsible. Religious or moral standards were considered harmful because they were the cause of guilt, a major culprit. If you get rid of these standards, then you get rid of the guilt, according to this thinking. More recently, the idea of addiction was expanded from things like heroin or cocaine to food, sex and other areas of abuse. If one is addicted, so the theory goes, then there is no blame to be assigned. That would cause guilt. This idea conveniently ignores how people get started on these “addictions”, as a matter of free choice, despite all the warnings and dangers. There has been an intensive search for genetic differences or chemical imbalances to further weaken the idea of personal responsibility. Then the sociologists blend in such things as racism, poverty, and poor environment. There is very little attention paid to the many people who overcame these negative factors to develop constructive lives as a result of their own choices. In addition, the secular thinkers have no place in their schemes for such things as the power of the Holy Spirit in regenerated and yielded lives to achieve dramatic transformations. The latter is often seen among prison inmates, drug addicts, and other types of people notably resistant to efforts by psychologists, social workers and others working in rehabilitation. Their failures have brought the reluctant admission that there is no such thing as rehabilitation in prisons by their methods. God, through His Word and through human instruments, can achieve what the secular systems cannot do.

It was precisely these deficiencies that brought a thoughtful and honest psychiatrist, William Glasser, to see that, “something is seriously amiss with contemporary psychiatry and clinical psychology.”7 In Glasser’s book he not only indicated a total break with conventional psychological wisdom, he provided statistical, proven evidence to demonstrate the failure of traditional psychotherapeutic methods. Glasser indicated in chapter two of his book that there are six postulates or presuppositions in the standard approach practiced throughout North America by both psychologists and psychiatrists. Glasser found that the approach was a failure in treatment effectiveness. The standard presuppositions are:

1. Mental illness is real.

2. There must be exploring and reconstruction of the past.

3. Transference is used as a therapeutic tool; this means that the patient is allowed to transfer in his mind attitudes about people in his past to those in his present, such as the psychiatrist.

4. The unconscious mind must be plumbed to gain understanding.

5. Psychiatry scrupulously avoids the problem of immorality. Deviant behavior is considered to be the product of mental illness and the patient should not hold morally responsible because he is helpless to do anything about it.

6. Teaching people to behave better is not considered an important part of therapy. “The patients will behave better once they understand both the historical and unconscious sources of their problems.”

Glasser’s treatment stressed reality (your present situation, not your past experiences), responsibility (for your own decisions), and right vs. wrong (not situation ethics). These ideas were completely opposed to the standard thinking among Glasser’s colleagues. This section is in no way intended to endorse his book as a Christian form of counseling, but to point out significant criticisms made by a recognized psychologist. Many will object to these characterizations, of course.

Those who are called Christian counselors still use at least in part, the foundations of the secular system (largely Freudian). They sometimes admit to problems in this system. Larry Crabb, one of the most popular writers and teachers of the Christian psychology movement, admitted this in his book, Effective Biblical Counseling. He said, “Psychology grows out of a set of presuppositions which are violently antagonistic to Scripture.”8 However, he thinks you can take the best of psychology’s “truth” and blend it with Scripture in some integrated form. He calls his approach, “spoiling the Egyptians”9 This is an example of Crabb’s very questionable exegesis of the Bible when attempting to integrate Scripture and secular psychology. He thinks that psychology has some useful insights, “…though often based on wrong assumptions.”10 Thus the Egyptians (referring to the account in Exodus 3:21, 22) become the psychologists. The Israelites who borrow from them are the Christians. The gold which is borrowed from the Egyptians comes from the insights of the psychologists. Of course, none of this is even remotely true or faithful to the Bible. Crabb’s use of Scripture to justify connections between psychology and the Bible are so bizarre that they would strain even the imagination of most Bible commentators. He suggests that Galatians 2:11-13 shows the need to be who you are (Rogers), Genesis 1:17-19, 28 shows that we are subject to environmental influences (Skinner). The only thing that we can say is that Crabb’s Biblical Counseling is far from Biblical.

We do not have the space to define and explain the many terms now being used by so-called Christian counselors and pastors who preach psychological themes in their sermons. Almost every one of them originates from the secular world and not from Scripture. Chief among these themes is self-esteem, which is another term for self-love. All kinds of ills are laid at the door of the supposed lack of this virtue. It is also called the lack of self-acceptance. If self-love is a healthy virtue, it is difficult to understand why it is listed among the evil practices of men in the latter days (2 Timothy 3:2). In Scripture, Christians are taught to love God and to love others, but never to love self. Jesus taught many times that we are to deny self. The model of self-sacrifice and others directed ministry is the Savior Himself. Self-actualization or self-fulfillment, NOT self-denial, is the secular theme. The plea for unconditional love and acceptance is a theme of humanistic psychology. Yet the idea is now attributed to God in the sense of accepting misbehavior without reproach. God’s love for the sinner does not imply any approval of wrong behavior or actions. He calls for them to repent. This call is usually shunned by these preachers. If there is any mention of repentance by some, it is redefined.

Christian psychology or if you prefer, psychotherapy, now freely employs such techniques as hypnosis, visualization (creating reality out of imagination), and group therapy (counsel and instruction springing from the group). All of these methods are from the thinking of the world, not from the Lord or His Word. There is nothing Biblical or Christian about any of it.

The church has been seduced into accepting much of secular psychology’s thinking, when combined with selected verses from the Bible, because it gives the appearance of being both scientific and spiritual. If it is truly scientific, then it must be true, they think. The question is, whether it is truly accepted as science by most of the eminent minds within the field itself. In their book, Psychoheresy, Martin and Deidre Bobgan have made the case that psychology and psychotherapy have not been able to meet the requirements for being a genuine science. They tell us that, “In attempting to evaluate the status of psychology, the American Psychological Association appointed Sigmund Koch to plan and direct study which was subsidized by the National Science Foundation. The study involved eighty eminent scholars in assessing the facts, theories, and methods of psychology. The results of this extensive endeavor were then published in a seven volume series entitled Psychology: A Study of a Science. Koch describes the delusion from which we have been suffering in thinking about psychology as a science: ‘The hope of a psychological science became indistinguishable from the fact of psychological science. The entire subsequent history of psychology can be seen as a ritualistic endeavor to emulate the forms of science in order to sustain the delusion that it already is a science.’”11

The answer to the issue in this study was negative. Psychology is simply not a science, nor does it truly use he scientific method of carefully controlled, objectively monitored, with experimentally repeatable verification of its conclusions. That the conclusions are constantly changing is proof of this. Only among the Christian counseling “professionals”, as they call themselves, is it accorded this standing. A large number of learned academics have confirmed the lack of any valid basis for regarding psychology as scientific. It is mostly a collection of constantly changing opinions, influenced more by culture and opinion than by any scientific facts. It is highly subjective and has acceptance mainly in the United States. However we do not question the sincerity of either the originators or practitioners of these counseling systems.

In summary, we can only observe that, at best, psychology or (psychiatry) even in their “Christian” form, are neither truly Biblical nor effective in terms of lasting changes. It can divert people from essentially Biblical prescriptions and remedies, such as self-discipline, unselfishness, centering on Christ, and considering others before self. At times the secular notions are clearly anti-Biblical and harmful. They tend to perpetuate costly treatment in months of endless sessions which may lead people to feel better and delude themselves into believing they are being truly helped. In the end however, controlled studies have indicated that often they will be no better off, as a whole, than those who received absolutely no treatment at all. Certainly, a more Biblical approach, in the hands of spiritual people, can do better than this.

RC Questions Lesson 2 Confusion From Integration of Secular and Christian Thinking

1. Why should we not accept, without criticism, the views of all those who call themselves “Christian counselors” or “Christian psychologists”? If they are Christians and are trying to help people, can we not trust them?

2. What are the objections to a sincere effort to integrate (merge) principles or insights of secular psychology with those of the Bible to help people? Is not “all truth God’s truth”?

3. What is meant by the term “medical model” in describing what is wrong with people who are said to have psychological problems”? Do you agree or disagree with this model and why?

4. Briefly, what are the observations of the following professionals (non-Christians) about the psychological profession?

a) Zilbergeld b) Mowrer c) Menninger d) Glasser e) Koch

Fundamental Principles Of Biblical Counseling

The Christian faith is concerned with the transformation of lives by the power of God. At least that is the Biblical picture. The Scriptures do not intimate any dependence upon human wisdom or techniques to achieve this transformation. It follows, therefore, that Biblical counseling should differ from secular-based counseling.

It is surprising, then, to read frank admissions of those who attempt to blend the two systems. They place a greater reliance on the secular than the spiritual but they see little difference between them. The Christian Association for Psychological Studies (CAPS) is a group of psychologists and psychological counselors who are professing Christians. In June of 1976, these members met in Santa Barbara, California and this statement was made: “At the present time there is no acceptable Christian psychology that is markedly different from non-Christian psychology. There is not an acceptable theory, mode of research or treatment methodology that is distinctly Christian.” Seward Hiltner of Princeton University uses the phrase “pastoral counseling” for Christian counseling on the premise that most counseling in the church is done by the professional staff. In his book, The Counselor in Counseling, he affirms the same belief set forth by CAPS. “In terms of basic attitude, approach and methods, pastoral counseling does not differ from effective counseling by other types of counselors.” He suggests that only in terms of the setting in which it is done (the church), the religious resources which are drawn upon (whatever that may mean), and the “dimension at which the pastor must view all human growth and human problems” (another somewhat murky phrase) “is there a mild difference.” Essentially, he believes there is no basic difference. Both of these statements are much more honest than those made by advocates of integration of the two systems who want to convince us that there is a major difference.

It may be true that no major work systematically sets forth clear and fundamental principles in which Biblical counseling does differ from secular-based counseling, or at least ought to do so. What would these principles be? We suggest that they should include the following considerations:

1. The Word of God is foundational – This basis must be set forth in a forthright and unequivocal way. The Bible is authoritative in the sense that believers cannot appeal to any other authority in the same way. Nothing can be admitted by Biblical counselors that contradicts or minimizes any statement or principle of Holy Scripture. Certainly this contradiction cannot be allowed from unregenerate and even anti-Christian sources, including secular academics, however learned, or humanistic psychologists.

2. God requires acceptance of personal responsibility for our actions, words and attitudes. Therefore, we will take the same stand in counseling. We cannot accept blame-shifting or excuses for misbehavior, bad attitudes and wrong choices, no matter how plausible they may seem. It has been wisely observed that reasons differ from excuses. A reason provides a logical explanation as to why something occurred. An excuse, in contrast, attempts to justify an action and releases a person from responsibility. The two are often confused. Moreover, a reason given may in reality be an excuse stuffed with a lie. The difference should be detected by the wise counselor. Theories as to the cause of psychological problems abound. These include (1) social and economic oppression by those in power, as voiced by Marxists, sociologists, psychologists, social workers and others; (2) environmental influences (parents, deprivation, racism, etc.); (3) medical (chemical changes in the body causing “mental illness”); (4) social (lack of healthy relationship with others); (5) personal attitudes (low self-esteem); (6) educational (lack of schooling or job training). This list can be expanded almost without end. It can include such things as “lack of a healthy birth experience”, blocked emotions from the past, negative thinking, excessively high moral standards producing guilt and a need to plumb the depths of their “unconscious” world. All such theories seek to release counselees from any sense of personal responsibility for their conduct. They ignore the significant numbers of persons who, despite many disadvantages of the type suggested above, press ahead in life and overcome obstacles through self-discipline and right choices. Overcomers refuse to take the place of “victims.” This is particularly true of those who became regenerated believers, energized by God’s power. A number of them become outstanding examples of those who overcome drug addiction, long standing criminal behavior, imprisonment and broken families. These are areas of the significant superiority of spiritual over secular approaches, despite the entrenched power of the latter in terms of professional control, paid staff and bureaucratic supervision. As to hard core drug addicts and repeated criminals, the professionals are almost total failures.

3. Biblical counseling relies upon God to transform people from within. This means those people who are willing to surrender His will. This requires faith in what God says in His Word, not just faith in faith as some abstract principle, or faith in yourself. It is the Holy Spirit, not man, or human technique, or “mind power”, that effects spiritual change within. It is conceded by most counselors that inner change and real personality transformation is very difficult at best. Therefore, it requires supernatural power working in a yielded vessel. This is something completely beyond secular psychology.

4. Counselors, just as counselees, need to be controlled by the Holy Spirit in the process. They need to be channels in God’s work since God appears to use people in this ministry. Those who can humbly take the place of channels will best possess the wisdom and discernment necessary in determining both needs and remedies. This would certainly disqualify unregenerate counselors. It would also seriously hamper believers who are not walking in the Spirit. Christian counselors may think it is necessary to know and push some supposed “magic button” in order to see change in others. Thus they find themselves frantically seeking some key to unlock the puzzle. The real key is a connection between counselees and the power of God to change them. That is as true in problems like discouragement as it is in sinful behavior. The counselor best views his or her own role as that of an instrument or “coach”, not some psychological magician.

5. The tools or “weapons of our warfare” are spiritual, not carnal (2 Corinthians 10:4). We trust in the power of believing prayer. As we beseech the Lord in fervent intercession, we believe it “avails much” (James 5:16). We also believe in the power of the Word of God, appropriately used, to touch hearts and consciences (Hebrews 4:12). This does not mean “clubbing people over the head with the Bible”, as some have suggested. It does not mean facing people with the Word and “commanding change.” Whether they change or not does not depend upon our command but upon the power of the Word in a heart touched by the Spirit. There should be some influence by either, or both, the counselor as a spiritual model and the congregation of believers as a loving and healing community. The passage in II Timothy 2:24-26 is helpful as a guide: “…be kind to all…with gentleness, correcting those who are in opposition, and perhaps God will grant them repentance leading to the knowledge of the truth, and they may come to their senses and escape from the snare of the devil…”

6. Our model is the Wonderful Counselor, the Lord Jesus Christ Himself. It certainly is not some noted psychologist, especially an unregenerate one, and his human techniques. The Lord was, and is, compassionate, kind and willing to listen to those who come clamoring for help. Those who came to the Lord, according to Scripture, often were outcasts by society. They included the poor (who could pay him nothing), the handicapped and the unwanted. He was willing to be scorned for taking time with these people. He was not afraid of being disliked because he spoke the truth in love. He wept over many who rejected His words (Luke 19:41). On the other hand, He did not hesitate to warn people of the danger of eternal punishment (Matthew 25:46). One cannot think of a secular psychologist, or many Christian counselors, who use a different model, doing such a thing.

7. We admit our limitations. We can help only those who are willing to listen to God or receive His words through us as the Lord’s servants. No amount of time invested by us will overcome the lack of yieldedness to God and willingness to change according to His Word.

8. We should not fear being classified as “judgmental”, a favorite word of secular psychology, if what they mean is that we uphold the absolutes of God’s Word concerning behavior. We can rightly call others to accountability to the Creator’s standards of right and wrong. The words of Jesus, “Judge not, that you be not judged”, are far too broadly interpreted in some quarters. We are told to “judge with righteous judgment” (John 7:24). We are not to take the place of God or to compare ourselves to others in a way that is favorable to us, unfavorable to them. Other people are not the true standard. Jesus is. At times, discernment, which is most important, is confused with “judging” others. No one could hope to help others without some degree of godly discernment. Admonition, rebuke and even discipline, where needed, are commanded by God of His servants. Such verses as Colossians 1:28 (“admonishing every man”), Colossians 3:16 (“admonishing one another”), Romans 15:14 (“admonishing one another”), Titus 1:13 (“reprove severely”), II Timothy 4:2 (“reprove, rebuke”) are but a few that certainly call for corrective words that might be deemed “judging” by some.

There are some things that Biblical counselors should seek to avoid, it seems to us. These include the following:

1. Prolonged or repetitive counseling sessions, often for months or even years, are an evidence of failure, not success. Those who counsel for monetary fees, of course, profit from this. However, the Lord’s servants cannot afford to expend endless amounts of time on those showing limited or no objective evidence of progress. One of two things is true. Either the counselee is not heeding or applying what is being suggested, or the counselor is simply not being effective in what is being done. The counselee may feel better, as is often claimed, and even want to keep on talking endlessly about problems. Yet there is no fundamental change in the situation. This is evidence that the sessions should at least be put on hold, if not suspended entirely. There are many people who like to talk about there problems but do not wish to do what is needed to resolve them. They can devour the time and sympathies of others as much as they are allowed. This is not good for either party. This does not mean that we cease to care for them and pray for them, or that we have “written them off.” It means that we are not getting anywhere and more such sessions are not likely to help. A suspension might wake them up.

2. It is not helpful to allow them to blame God, or others, or even you, the counselor, for their troubles. Neither is it good to be a receptive listener to there complaints or grievances about others (Proverbs 11:13, 25:19; Matthew 18:15). Their problems probably did not begin with others. In any event, a successful solution or improvement can most likely come about through a change of attitude or constructive action on their part. Final responsibility for resolving problems rests with them, not with you. By the same token, we should not accept credit for improvement in their situation. Give God the glory for any real transformation of another person’s life. We are at best poor instruments for His Spirit. We can give credit to the counselee for listening and applying certain principles. Only a minority will do this in a conscientious manner. One of the major problems of counselees, is not being willing to take heed.

3. We are not morally neutral. Our standards are those of the Word of God, not those of humanism or secular psychology. We are willing to listen, as patiently as possible, to even the most outrageous things. However, we will not assume the burden of playing God. The counselees are responsible to God as their Creator and Savior, not to our human judgments. The Word must always be between us and them. However, when the time comes to “speak the truth in love” we should do so. We should not be silent about evidently wrong behavior or immorality where God is not silent. Truth makes men free, not just silence or acceptance of that behavior in the supposed interests of love. Our response to such acknowledgement is not that of the “non-directive” counselor who does not want to appear to be judgmental. We do not consider guilt about wrong behavior as being harmful. When you are not feeling guilty about something evidently wrong, you are nearing the possibility of more serious trouble. If the guilt is imaginary and misplaced, we ought to correct that thinking through the Word. Many sensitive people suffer from this.

In summary, let us say that there should be something distinctly different in comparing Biblical and secularly influenced principles. If this is not true, then why should you bother to do it? Just refer them to the professionals, as some would recommend. If there are distinctions, we ought to be clear in our own minds as to what they are. Then follow through with consistency. This chapter ought to alert us even more to the clear conflicts between the secular and humanistic approach on one hand, and Scriptural principles on the other. It means that we should also be alert to the dangers of syncretism, historically a deadly influence upon the Christian church. This malady is the device of fusing concepts from opposing systems into a new whole, to the detriment of the original system. It is designed to make something more popular or acceptable. It has been a major source in the introduction of paganism in many forms into the Christian faith. Therefore, read with caution the writing of self-proclaimed Christians who use the Worldly terminology of unbelievers or mask them with Christian labels, sprinkled with verses that are out of context.

RC Questions Lesson 3 Fundamental Principles of Biblical Counseling

1. How should Biblical counseling differ from secularly oriented counseling, in your opinion? If so, how do you explain the statements of Christian psychologists in CAPS and Steward Hiltner of Princeton University?

2. What excuses have you heard made on behalf of the behavior of some troubled people? Did you accept them and why?

3. What does a counselor really need as a believer to be effective in helping others?

4. There are at least three things we need to avoid in counseling. Why? Can you think of any other things?

Favorable Qualities For Biblical Counselors

Virtually any spiritual Christian ought to be able to give helpful advice when opportunity presents itself. By doing this, they not only help others, but lessen the demands on overworked gifted people. Not everyone needs a gifted or professional counselor for every problem situation, even if enough of them were available. Helping one another is one of the privileges of friendship. It is the calling of all believers. Scriptures such as Colossians 3:16 speak of teaching and admonishing one another in the context of the entire body. Moses was advised by Jethro to appoint people to handle lesser matters. The more difficult cases could then be brought to him. Among us however, there is no need for special appointment to function at this level.

The Apostle Paul asked the question, “Is it so that there is not among you one wise man who will be able to decide between his brethren?” (I Corinthians 6:5). This introduces the idea that there should be more than one person in a body of believers able to settle conflicts or attend to more difficult questions. What qualities should they possess?

1. Evidently, they should have the confidence of other believers. This will be based upon factors as a godly walk, a well-managed household, a discreet tongue and a well-deserved reputation for being available and helpful. Such helpers will not be “busybodies” or meddlers (II Thessalonians 3:11, I Timothy 5:13), running about to intrude uninvited into other people’s affairs. They will not be giving unsolicited advice or inquiring into matters which are none of their affair. This is more harmful than helpful. Possible immorality or scandal, affecting the church, is a matter for intervention by the elders, whether it is invited or not. In general, it is better that you allow others to seek you out, rather than the reverse.

2. It is apparent that discernment is a major requirement for effective counseling. Spiritual discernment is the special ability, given by God, to see beyond the obvious and beneath the surface of things. It is also called being perceptive. Ordinary observers hear words, see appearances and accept things at face value. For example, most people readily accept the counselees’ explanation of what’s wrong and why. A discerning person, on the other hand, is able to evaluate situations in a way that cannot always be explained or proved. It could be that they sense things by spiritual intuition or by much experience. This applies to detecting lies or “cover-ups.” It may be that some people are simply deceived themselves. Believers who are quite spiritual in many ways can still lack discernment. They can be quite naïve. Perhaps it is because some always want to believe the best about others. Discernment is not something that can be taught in a class. Believers can improve their limited powers of discernment by making a diligent effort to lessen their naivety. You should carefully study and meditate upon the “wisdom books” of the Bible such as Proverbs. You can read a chapter of this every day. You can learn much by meditating upon the ways, words, and questions of the Lord Jesus, the wisest man who ever lived. Experience also is an excellent teacher, “but the tuition is high”, meaning it is a costly way to learn.

3. The ability to have a warm, sincere interest in people, even those who may not be entirely lovable or admirable, is most important. We call certain ones “people persons” because they are able to relate readily to others. This seems evident in the Lord Jesus whom the common people admired and “heard gladly.” Those who are inclined to be quite “private” and uncomfortable in discussing personal things, are not likely to be good at getting close to others in terms of trust and sharing. With effort we can, and should, do better at being honest with one another. Until we do learn this, we will not likely be able to function effectively in a counseling role.

4. Emotional self-control is essential if you are going to be of help. Problems can be worsened without this. Conflicts move toward resolution when we handle circumstances in a self-controlled manner. Anger is an example. There are many reasons why we become angry, even good ones. But Scripture says, “the wrath of man does not work the righteousness of God.” The Proverbs are full of warnings about a quick temper (Proverbs 15:18, 22:24). Impatience is another example. God is “long suffering” toward us. How grateful we should be that He is. How badly do we reflect His character when we are not patient. The tendency to be moody or depressed can be turned into the joy of the Lord by a change in attitude or a fresh application of the Word. If the Lord does not bring joy into our lives, how can we help others enjoy this? The lack of self-discipline, which is a fruit of the Spirit-controlled life (Galatians 5:23), may be evident. Make your own list of negative and positive qualities.

5. Biblical counselors, almost by definition, must be saturated with the Word, in heart as well as mind. They are “rooted and grounded” in it. It is present on their tongues, as they speak to others, because it is written in their hearts. In counseling, we should refer frequently to the Word. Invite counselees to read the Scriptures, in context, and comment on their meaning. Do not just decorate your ideas with verses, or glibly quote them, or “beat people over the head” with them. Discuss the verse or passage in the context of the whole of Scripture. Invite personal application. Determine if there is real understanding, brought about by the Spirit. Has it sunk down in their ears, as Jesus said? Is the light of conviction or spiritual discernment beginning to dawn in their minds? It is not a matter of intellectual grasp of something that you seek, although that is important. You want to get beyond this to the point where they see the truth as it applies to their lives. This will usually take more than one conversation, but you need to be moving in that direction.

6. The question needs to be asked of the would-be counselor, “How effective have you been to date in helping others?” Of course, people may enjoy coming to you so that you can listen again and again to their recitation of unhappiness. They may tell you that they feel better after talking with you. But to what degree have they objectively overcome their difficulties of attitudes and actions? Is it that they want you to change someone else, or their own circumstances, as is often the case? Do they realize that God is not so much interested in changing our circumstances as He is in changing us? Sometimes counselors rush around, bubbling with enthusiasm, talking about how many people they are seeing. Yet the objective changes seem few and far between in these lives. If the counselor was successful, would more and more meetings be necessary while the problems persisted? But the counselees are enthusiastic, we may say, even though there is little evidence of change. That is their tendency. It is difficult to get a counselee to speak negatively about a psychologist or psychiatrist or self-help group, according to Zilbergeld. Enthusiasm about the practitioner of some system usually outweighs any objective evidence of his or her success. Others usually cannot duplicate their work. Often we are too enthusiastic about our methods. The wise and successful counselor will give glory to God where there is real transformation.

7. Counselors need to have a well-balanced life consisting of many other elements other than counseling. A steady diet of dealing with troubled people can lead one to think that virtually everyone is a troubled soul. At times the counselee’s very attitudes and character traits can “rub off” on you. That may be one reason why many psychologists and psychiatrists seem a little “weird” even to their own colleagues, as well as the general public. Many jokes abound over the habits of these “shrinks”, a short term for “head shrinker.” The suicide rate for these people is the highest among their fellow professionals in the “mental health” field. These professionals are also high on the scale for many other problems such as family breakdown and divorce. To keep a good perspective on life, to be spiritually healthy and joyful, it is important to have a good family life, recreational times and social interaction with those living more normal lives, without frequent ups and downs.

Psychology classes in college and professional training centers seem to abound with students who showed an interest for a surprising reason. They will confess, when asked, that they took the class or entered the profession out of a desire to better “understand themselves” or solve their own problems. This is probably not the best reason to take these classes. In fact, such students may become, and often are, even more confused at the end. A young friend of mine who aspired to the ministry was advised to take psychology at a nearby college in preparation for this calling. The only course available at the time was one in which the most disturbed cases were studied. When asked by the teacher, every student except my friend acknowledged that they themselves had similar problems as those whom they were studying. He was astounded, of course.

Those people who are still trying to work through their own problems, whatever they may be, are not the best people to be doing Biblical counseling, at that point in their lives. If, for example, a person has completely recovered from the sin of drunkenness through the power of God, then he or she would be an excellent choice to help those with similar problems. If you still have struggles in your own marriage, you would not be wise in undertaking to be a marriage counselor to others. To try to undertake to help others when you have not had a solid period of clear victory in an area is foolishness. An example of this is the oft-repeated instance of the temporarily successful drug abuser who is out helping others. In a short time he is back on drugs, a bad model for those he sought to help. Be sure you are victorious for an extended period of time before undertaking to help someone else with a similar problem. Be less eager to get involved in counseling until you are better aware of the demands of the calling and your own weakness. James 3:1 has an interesting warning: “Let not many of you become teachers, my brethren, knowing that as such we shall incur a stricter judgment.” If you substitute the word “counselor” for the word “teacher”, you may better understand the importance of this statement.

All of this is not said for the purpose of discouraging those who might be qualified and interested in the field. It is designed to lend a touch of realism to what might seem a glamorous calling, which it is not. It is simply a warning as to what is involved. We need more believers who are able to accept this responsibility in the local church, at least at some level of participation. However, you need to think very clearly about what you are doing and why you are doing it. You certainly ought to have a basic set of principles on which you propose to operate, as we have already outlined. Your motivation for doing this is an important issue. Consider the Lord Jesus and His example of sacrificial self-giving. That is an excellent start. He did not go about helping people out of a desire to understand His own problems or to profit Himself. He was the One who loved and gave Himself, not just an allotment of time on a periodic basis.

RC Questions Lesson 4 Favorable Qualities for Biblical Counselors

1. What do you think you need personally to effectively give counsel to others in at least the most basic situations? Why?

2. What comment would you make about your own abilities in discerning what is wrong and what action is needed? What hinders your powers of discernment?

3. How would you evaluate your own past efforts to counsel or advise others? Why were they successful or unsuccessful?

4. Do you think that because you have had problems yourself, especially in certain areas, you will automatically be able to help others in these areas? If so, why? If not, why?

Diverse Situations Encountered In Counseling

No two counseling situations are exactly alike. They can be as different as people themselves. This makes counseling interesting and not predictable. Our fundamental approach should remain the same, grounded upon a firm grasp of our principles. However, we can make some modifications in the way the situation is handled. We reject the “salad bar” method, or eclectic approach, of using whatever seems to work, without regard to whether this agrees with Biblical principles. By not doing this you will avoid the common practice of chasing the latest fad in psychology, often called, “pop”, or popular psychology. The assumption that a newer idea is always a better one is wrong, especially in the field of human behavior.

Ask counselees to state, as succinctly as possible, why they came to seek your help, in case they do not come to the point themselves. This is called, in some quarters, “the presentation problem.” It may or may not be the most important problem, but it should not be ignored. What people think is the problem can be an important part of your evaluation.

Three questions can be useful in getting the situation out in the open for discussion. You can rephrase these questions in various ways, but the substance should remain the same.

1. Where are you now?

In other words, as they look at their situation, what is happening? What concerns them about it? How do they evaluate it? What other people are involved, if any? What is good or bad about it, as they see it? This can be the occasion when you probe deeper into whatever background is important to their understanding of the problem. When did all this begin? Was it ever right? What seemed to you to be the reasons? It is not necessary to go all the way back to the womb or to plumb their unconscious feelings, as some have suggested. Remember that what now is more important than all the supposed whys. You cannot undo the past.

2. Where do you want to be?

If the situation is not what they want it to be, what needs to take place, especially in terms of their handling of the situation? Remember that you as counselor may not be able to meet other involved people. You cannot personally change their circumstances for them. Where would the counselee like to be in their relationship with God, to their family members, or to others? Most people, when asked what they really want in life, will say, “To be happy.” But what will it take to make them happy? This is a great place for counselees to define what they seek in terms of walking with the Lord.

3. What can I do to help?

Have them state what they seek from you in advice or practical assistance. It helps them to think more clearly about why they came to you in the first place. Do they only want someone to listen while they talk and complain endlessly? Are they just collecting opinions, yours being one among many? Do they want sympathy or support in their ideas? Hopefully they came with the idea of listening, with a willingness to change.

We believe that the greatest issue to be searched out is that of a person’s relationship to God. It can be very useful to ask someone a very general question about their early religious experiences or church background. Most people you encounter will claim to be Christians in some sense. They may profess to have been saved or to have accepted Christ. You should take particular interest in their description of how and when their profession of faith took place. Often you will hear a story of a childhood experience, or of prayers to the Lord, as the basis of their assurance of salvation. Then you may ask, “What happened after that?” Did a change take place in their life, turning from a sinful lifestyle and harmful relationships? Was there a measure of continuation in this new lifestyle, or did they return to the same sinful life and habits? If this included the practice of immorality, use of drugs and alcohol, and other destructive habits, then you ought to consider having them turn to certain passages in the New Testament for consideration and possible application. Such verses may include 1 John 2:3-5; 3:4-10; Matthew 7:21-23. Ask them how they can be confident in their conversion experience if they have been practicing lawlessness rather than practicing righteousness. The Bible tells us that we should, “Test yourselves to see if you are in the faith. Examine yourselves.” (2 Corinthians 13:5). The warning of the possibility of deceiving yourself is repeated to us several times in the Scriptures (Ephesians 5:5,6; Galatians 5:19-21; 1 Corinthians 6:9,10).

Usually there is the objection that no one is perfect, often with some appeal to the experiences of David and Peter. Of course, this is true. But we are no talking about sinless perfection. We are discussing the practice of sin, especially such lawless acts as cited above. In I John we read that the children of God and the children of the Devil are obvious. In what way? By the way they live, or do not live, according to the Scriptures. Jesus said, “By their fruits you shall know them.”

All of this is not to say that we can infallibly determine whether someone is saved. We do not possess an advance copy of the Lamb’s Book of Life, containing all the names of the redeemed. All we can do is to tactfully get them to re-examine the reality of their profession of faith in Christ. This is a more loving act than to blindly accept every profession as a true one. How can one build a true Christian experience upon the foundation of an empty profession? How can one live a genuine Christian life without the power of the indwelling Spirit? This is a vital issue. It needs more consideration than it usually gets.

Those professing to be Christians, with at least some evidence of reality, can be questioned about the closeness of their fellowship with God. Are they active in their church? Do they regularly pray and read the scriptures? Do they walk in the light as followers of the Lord Jesus? These are important conditions for receiving God’s fullest blessings. Grace, which is the undeserved favor of God, is not a license to live as we please. Many of God’s blessings, including that of answered prayer, are distinctly conditional.

There are many types of counseling situations. Not all of them involve sinful behavior. For example, some people seek guidance in making important decisions. Some need hope and encouragement due to bereavement, abandonment’s, grievous disappointments, and tragedy. Romantic matters can be a crushing experience for some. Some may need technical or specialized help, which can obtained by making an appropriate referral. These general situations can be illustrated by the following categories, with some examples and guidelines for each:

I. SUPPORTIVE COUNSELING – To undergird and stabilize troubled people; to help them gain strength in order to deal effectively with severe trials.

A. Sample problems: Deaths; serious illness; break-ups of engagement or marriage; etc.

B. Counselor’s role: Reassurance, comfort, guidance, listening and helping them to lean on the Lord through prayer and the Word. An objective view of the situation, meaningful activity, and facing the facts are also helpful.

C. Dangers for the counselor: Over-dependency by the counselee on the counselor; prolonged, excessive grief.

II. CONFRONTING COUNSELING – Forcing a person to face and deal with sin or difficulty. This involves confession, restoration, and the development of good patterns, which will prevent similar problems in the future.

A. Sample problems: Immorality, or other scriptural violation. This may include poor attitudes, factionalism, unresolved grievances, unwillingness to work, and financial irresponsibility.

B. Counselor’s role: Face the counselee with the evidence of his/her sin to bring him/her to admission of same. Encourage confession, restitution, and responsible change. Stress God’s willingness to forgive and our need to do these towards others. Help them to grow spiritually through Christian fellowship, the Word, and prayer. Help them learn self-discipline and sound life patterns.

C. Dangers for the counselor: Dealing with counselees arrogantly and with a spirit of “one-upmanship”; rejecting them personally because of their actions and speaking in a self-righteous manner; not helping them specifically in changing their behavior where they desire to do so.

III. INFORMATIONAL COUNSELING – Assisting others to obtain the necessary facts in making decisions; showing them how to discern God’s will and how to arrive at the proper decisions; supplying necessary information or source materials to make necessary changes in actions; preparing for future changes.

A. Sample problems: Job information; premarital counseling; Bible questions and confusion on various courses of action.

B. Counselor’s role: To provide opportunity for full discussion; recommend suitable sources of information. Praise good attitudes and their genuine desire to do God’s will, if this is true. To make suggestions or ask questions to help them think through a course of action. Be alert to hidden issues.

C. Dangers for the Counselor: Over-dependency; imagining that the information will necessarily bring change; manipulating or dominating the counselee rather than helping them to make the necessary decisions; having an inflated view of our own expertise.

IV. PREVENTATIVE COUNSELING – To anticipate problems before they arise, or to prevent the worsening of existing problems.

A. Sample problems: Intense relationships between persons which may lead to sin or unwise marriages, or the polarizing of factions in a dispute; medical, marital, job, or church crises; major changes in life such as college, military service, or retirement.

B. Counselor’s role: To remain alert to potential problems and dangers, and to warn people of danger areas. To be tactful in discussing various aspects of the potential problem; do not pretend to be one who is all knowing; review alternative solutions.

C. Dangers for the Counselor: Waiting too long while problem becomes more serious; over-dramatizing the situation and making it seem worse than it may be.

V. SPIRITUAL COUNSELING – Leading people to find the solutions to life’s problems; dealing with meaning and purpose in life; helping them to learn the proper way to grow through walking with Christ.

A. Sample problems: Leading people to Christ for salvation; teaching people how to grow spiritually; dealing with lack of assurance, unbelief, emptiness, wrong doctrinal understanding, or other points of confusion about Biblical issues.

B. Counselor’s role: Encourage open expression of their problems, concerns, doubts; be honest and avoid superficiality; be willing to discuss, raise issues and confront; use the Scriptures and prayer; point out spiritual needs and teach the facts of the new birth, spiritual growth, or other needed truths.

C. Dangers for the Counselor: Generalizing with clichés like, “Just learn to trust the Lord”; failing to deal with the genuine concerns in a thorough manner; theological questions may tend to hide other problems; all problems may not be assigned automatically to the category of sin.

VI. REFERRAL COUNSELING – Use of specialized or more experienced sources for helping persons.

A. Sample problems: Those who need medical care or examination, legal advice, financial assistance, or similar problems. Those whose problems seem beyond your ability to assist, or for whom you may feel a dislike for any reason.

B. Counselor’s role: Be familiar with sources of specialized help and know how to contact them when necessary. Help the counselee to the see the value of referral and not to feel rejected; be tactful.

C. Dangers for the Counselor: Failing to refer when you do not have the particular ability or time to handle the problem; referring too quickly, or in a manner that implies rejection; failing to give the spiritual help you could have given; needlessly meddling in the affair after referral has been made.

VII. MARITAL COUNSELING – Marriage problems are very common, even among believers. Detailed consideration will be given in a later chapter, but here is a brief statement.

A. Sample problems: Threatened separation or divorce; arguments over debt and financial matters or the handling and discipline of the children; strife over involvement with in-laws; communication difficulties in the settling of disputes; dissatisfaction in the sexual relationship; emotional immaturity; unequal yoke between a believer and an unbeliever; role reversal or lack of knowledge of Biblical function in roles of husband and wife.

B. Counselor’s role: Thorough questioning, even in sensitive areas such as sexual relationships, and getting both sides of the story; determining the major items of conflict. Do both parties want the marriage to survive? Find the motivation for both persons to work on their problems in a serious way.

C. Dangers for the Counselor: Not penetrating to the real issues; proposing superficial measures which will not bring about fundamental change; not utilizing the spiritual measures which can help effect a change.

In determining the truth in any situation, we must accept the fact that some counselees lie, distort, or exaggerate matters. Therefore, it is most important to emphasize the need for complete honesty if you are going to be helpful. The counselees expect honesty from you. For the same reason they must be honest with you. Discernment as to what is true is needful for counselors.

RC Questions Lesson 5 Diverse Situations Encountered in Counseling

1. List the three suggested questions in seeking to find out what you need to know about a troubled person. Say what you expect or want to learn from each question.

2. What are the problems involved in trying to determine whether a person is a true believer, really saved?

3. Name the type (or types) of counseling which might be most difficult for you. Why is this so? What do you need to learn in order to overcome the difficulties?

4. Of the various “dangers for the counselor” what might be the most likely problems for you? Why?

Self Love Or Self Sacrifice

One major area of difference between Biblical counseling and secular-based counseling centers around what is called self. At the simplest level self is what we have in mind when we use the pronouns “I” or “me.” Another common word for self is ego. This gives rise to such terms as egocentric (self-centered), egotism (conceit, exaggerated sense of self-importance) and egoism (the doctrine that self-interest is a valid motive for all human actions).

In the New Testament the word psuche is translated as life or soul. It is the term from which we derive the word psyche. This in turn gives rise to the term psychology, the study of the behavioral characteristics of the individual. The soul or self is the seat of what we call personality, consisting of will, emotions and mind or reason. The soul is the center of self-awareness, the you which is a part (together with the spirit) of the inner, invisible person. The soul, the spirit and the body, then, make up the tri-unity of man’s being (I Thessalonians 5:23).

Secular psychology has identified self as its primary project for promotion or up building. It theorizes that lack of self-love or low self-esteem is the major cause of almost every kind of maladjustment, including everything from criminality to sadness. In the minds of some, it is the national “illness” of this country.

This diagnosis does not lack for challenges. David Myers, a teacher of psychology at Hope College in Michigan, has written in his book The Inflated Self that pride and self-serving bias far exceed any evidence of low self-esteem. A number of studies support this. A college board asked high school seniors to compare themselves with others of their own age. In leadership ability, 70% rated themselves above average and only 2% scored themselves as below average. Of 829,000 students, zero percent rated themselves below average and 25% saw themselves in the top one percent! Other studies demonstrated that people regularly overestimate the accuracy of their beliefs or judgments, accept more responsibility for success than failure and overestimate how desirably they would act in a given situation. There is no clear scientific evidence to demonstrate that low self-esteem is as prevalent as claimed by most psychologists or counselors. However, they are doing an excellent job of convincing the public that it is true nevertheless.

The idea that lack of self-love is a major problem or causative factor for poor behavior includes four major theorists. These are Erich Fromm, Rollo May, Carl Rogers and Abraham Maslow, according to Paul Vitz in “Psychology of Religion, the Cult of Self-Worship.” Vitz states that Ludwig Feurbach, an influential enemy of Christianity laid the groundwork for later humanistic concepts of self. The liberal Protestant preacher Harry Emerson Fosdick and Norman Vincent Peale became popularizers of these self-theories before the present group came along. It has been called “the perfect consumer philosophy, ideally suited for those with money and leisure,” thus readily accepted by millions.

No modern writer or speaker has done more for this theory than T.V. personality Robert Schuller, pastor of the famed Crystal Cathedral in Garden Grove, California, which has regularly packed in audiences of 10,000 each Sunday at his church. In his book Self-Esteem, the New Reformation (certainly a grandiose title), he lets out all the restraints in portraying the evils of low self-esteem. He says, “Sin is any act or thought that robs myself or any other human being of his or her self-esteem. And what is hell? It is the loss of pride that naturally follows separation from God—the ultimate and unfailing source of self-respect…A person is in hell when he has lost his self-esteem.”

John H. Armstrong, writing on “Must I Love Myself”, says: “According to the spirit of our age, it is no longer man’s failure to glorify God but rather his failure to esteem himself that is his problem.” Armstrong examined the pivotal text (Luke 20:25-27) so often used to justify Biblically this idea. This includes the phrase “love you neighbor as yourself.” Proponents of this view argue that a person cannot love someone else before first learning to love himself. Of course, neither the Lord Jesus nor any other Biblical writer ever commanded us to learn to love self. Rather we were commanded to love God first and then love our neighbor. Armstrong argues that to take the verse in Luke 20 and argue that it teaches “love yourself” is grammatically impossible (no command is there to love self), linguistically impossible (agapao means sacrificial love, and it is meaningless to sacrifice oneself to serve oneself) and theologically impossible (directing service to self is a sin, not a virtue).

According to Martin and Deidre Bobgan, the vigorous advocacy of self-love has spread like a cancer through the church through well-known Christian communicators. They include James Dobson, Bruce Narramore, Robert Schuller, Charles Swindoll, Norman Wright, Josh McDowell and many others. This is astonishing when one reads the words of earlier advocates like Fromm. He wrote, “Modern culture is pervaded by a taboo on selfishness. We are taught that to be selfish is sinful and to love others is virtuous.” The Bobgan’s commented that Fromm blamed theologians such as Luther and Calvin for emphasizing love of others at the expense of loving self. He did not have the slightest understanding of the Bible, Luther or Calvin. “He saw the God of the Bible as a cruel dictator who drove Cain to murder Abel.” To him, God was evil and Cain a helpless victim. Think of such an ungodly root for the self-love idea, which Fromm frankly equated with selfishness.

Don Matzat in Christ Esteem has quite clearly defined the issues for those who wish to counsel from a Biblical perspective. “Modern humanism considers man himself to be the measure of all things, standing against bringing him to the knowledge of sin. We are being taught to feel good about ourselves”, a most agreeable thought to modern man. The latter is more interested in personal fulfillment than in forgiveness for sins and salvation. Bruce Narramore is quite frank about how to appeal to modern churchgoers. He says, “Many individual Christians look to psychology for new insights that will relieve personal discomfort or despair. They hope that psychology will provide answers to questions not specifically addressed in Christianity.” Please note this last phrase. The Lord Jesus, or God’s Word, is not adequate to meet the issue of despair, according to this thinking. You must have psychology to do this.

The issue before us is “What does the Bible teach?”, not “What does Psychology teach?” Does the Bible teach that we should focus upon self in order to improve our self-image? Of course not. To be absorbed in self rather than upon God or the needs of others is harmful, not helpful; nor is it helpful to think about self as bad. Continuing to be occupied with self at all is not good. Introspection, which is the practice of constantly examining your own thoughts and feelings especially in some critical way, is not recommended for a healthy outlook. Self-pity is worse. Getting your mind off yourself and on to something or someone else, in a constructive way, is what is helpful. Biblically guided self-examination is recommended. This enables us to deal with the sins of bitterness and an unforgiving spirit in the light of scripture. See Matthew 18:21-35 on the subject of forgiving others, for example.

This brings us to what the Bible really teaches about dealing with self, or the self’s life mode of thinking. If we begin properly with the example of Jesus Christ, then we see very plainly that He lived in a manner completely opposite of that recommended by the “love yourself” crowd. He loved the Father and He loved others. He gave Himself for others. He suffered and died for others. His life was the perfect model of sacrificial love, not self-love. He did not come to be served but to serve. He lived to please God not to please Himself. Even on the Cross, in dreadful pain, His thoughts were for others, not self. He prayed for His persecutors and murderers, “Father forgive them.” It seemed that He seldom gave a thought to His own needs, nor was He worried about what others were thinking about Him. He was the incarnation of unselfishness and others-directed living, rather than self-centeredness. Who could improve on the example of the Perfect Man?

The teaching of the Lord on self is quite clear on this point and quite at variance with any idea of self-love. In Luke 9:23-24 He said, “If anyone wishes to come after Me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow Me, for whoever wishes to save his life shall lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake is the one who will save it.” Life here is the same word upon which we have already commented, psuche. It is the soul, the personality (the will, emotions and mind), or what we call “I.” When the Lord says, “If anyone wishes to come after Me”, He is including everyone who would claim to be a true believer. When He says, “deny himself and take up his cross daily”, He states the condition. To deny self is not to deny our existence, our humanity, our personality or any like idea. He is talking about putting our own interests aside in order to follow Him. When He says, “take up your cross daily”, He is talking about death (the meaning of the Cross) to what we want in order to do what God wants. When He says “daily” he means that it is something that is not done once for all or is involved only in our conversion experience. If you want to save your life (get the most out of it for yourself), you will lose it. If you want to lose your life (give it up) for Jesus’ sake to serve His interests, you will gain it, in the sense of eternal reward and making your life count.

In John 12:23-25, the Lord makes even more clear the idea of self-sacrifice, not self-love. In verse 23, He speaks of His impending death for the sins of the world (“the hour has come”). He gives a principle from agriculture. “Unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies it remains by itself alone, but if it dies, it bears much fruit.” Unless the wheat grain gives up its independent life, then it will not provide multiplied life or be fruitful. Of course, this would connect with His own self-sacrifice on the Cross. But it is also applied to the lives of His followers, as we see in the next verse. “He who loves his life loses it, but he who hates (loves less) his life in this world shall keep it to life eternal.” In other words, unless you are willing to sacrifice your life for Christ in this world in order to make it count eternally, you will lose it. The Lord then follows this with a reminder on serving Him. “If anyone serves Me, let him follow Me, and where I am, there will My servant be also.” Therefore, to serve Jesus means to follow Him and to emulate His example. This includes the life of sacrificing self, taking up of our cross daily. Now, how could anyone interpret this to mean something like, “raise your self-esteem”?

Let us consider some other verses in this same vein:

II Corinthians 4:10-12

Always carrying about in the body the dying of Jesus, that the life of Jesus may be manifested in our body; for we who live are constantly being delivered over to death for Jesus’ sake that the life of Jesus may be manifested in our mortal flesh.

Philippians 2:5-8

Have this attitude in yourself which was also in Christ Jesus who…emptied Himself…He humbled Himself and became obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.

Luke 14:26-27

If anyone comes to Me and does not hate [love less] his own father and mother and wife and children and sisters, yes, and even his own life [psuche], he cannot be my disciple. Whoever does not carry his own cross and come after Me cannot be my disciple.

All of these verses teach a life of self-sacrifice for Jesus’ sake, not a life of loving self and seeking self-fulfillment.

We will deal in the next chapter with the principle of exchanging our self-life for the life of Jesus flowing through us as channels. However this chapter should turn us away from seeking the answers to our difficulties, meaninglessness, lack of proper identity and general unhappiness by means of the secular route—seeking greater self-esteem. Rather, it will show us the answer is in Christ. It will be our growing esteem of Him, not self, that will mark the right path. We will find our portion, power and satisfaction in letting Him live His life in us, not in living for ourselves or thinking about ourselves.

RC Questions Lesson 6 Self-Love or Self-Sacrifice

1. What can you say, for or against, the concept of “low self-esteem” (self-love) as a counseling problem? Consider either what you have read or experienced?

2. From the Bible, write down your understanding of what is the soul or self. What does the Lord Jesus teach about self? Use Scripture. What did He mean, in your opinion?

3. Contrast these Scriptures with those of Robert Schuller, or Erich Fromm. How could you explain the support of the self-esteem doctrine by Christian spokesmen like Dobson, Narramore, Swindoll, Wright and McDowell?

4. In what way do such Scriptures as 2 Corinthians 4:10-12, Philippians 2:5-8 and Luke 14:26-27 help our understanding on the subject?

The Exchanged Life

Any book on Christian counseling should address the issue of how to enjoy a life of satisfaction, inner strength and fellowship with God. Materialistic acquisitions, pleasure-seeking and a concentration upon self are not leading people where they need to go. What people need is communication with God and a life characterized by joy, love, peace and related blessings. This is exactly what is offered by the Lord Jesus to those who follow Him and His teachings. Jesus said, “I have come that they might have life and might have it more abundantly (John 10:10). Abundant life is rich and overflowing. It pertains to the present, not just the future.

Of course, this life begins when Jesus becomes Lord and Savior of those who believe the gospel message, centered in Him. But beginning will not insure the enjoyment of this life. Many believers do not experience this promised life after they profess faith in Christ. Why not? There are several possible reasons. They may be discouraged by past failure. They say, “I have tried all this before and it has not worked.” But God has not failed and His promises are still true when claimed by faith. Some of these people may not be saved, despite some earlier prayer to God. They say, “I asked Jesus into my heart.” Many will be stunned when they face the Lord after death and hear from Him, “I never knew you” (Matthew 7:22-23). They may remain content with a low level of spiritual living, despite being a professing Christian. Perhaps no one has shown them how to have an abundant life in Christ. Your counseling objective should be to help them understand now.

There are some initial steps or attitudes that are important. Make sure the counselee makes a start by grappling with these issues. Use this paper as a study guide.

1. Do they thirst, or deeply desire a life of close fellowship with God? (Matthew 5:6). If shallow or mediocre lives are sufficient for these people, they the rivers of living water will never flow out of them (John 7:38).

2. Do they recognize that spiritual life and vitality come from fellowship with a Person? (I John 5:12). Daily awareness and yieldedness to that Person is necessary for Him to be revealed in believers (II Corinthians 4:10). You cannot have abundant life without closeness to the Lord Jesus.

3. Believers need to appropriate the strength and sufficiency of Christ into their inner beings if they are to live unto His glory (Ephesians 3:16). They must daily draw nourishment from the True Vine in order to bear fruit (John 15:4). It has been said, “We often stop at admiration when we need to go on to appropriation.” Blessings and promises must be claimed and God’s conditions met (John 15:5-7).

4. Believers should present daily their lives to God for His holy purposes, not their selfish purposes (Romans 6:13, 12:2). If we make ourselves available to God then we are consecrated to Him.

5. Finally, they need to walk (live and act) as those who belong to God (I Corinthians 6:19-20). When people walk in love (Ephesians 5:2), in truth (II John 4), by faith, not sight (II Corinthians 5:7), then they walk according to the Spirit (Galatians 5:16).

Another important step in enjoying the abundant life is to saturate yourself with the truths of Romans Chapter 6. This is a good passage to assign for intensive study. It lays out the essential steps whereby believers “having been freed from sin (its power) and enslaved to God” may derive the “benefit, resulting in sanctification” (Romans 6:22). The normal Christian experience should be that “sin shall not be master over you” (Romans 6:14). “Having been freed from sin, you become slaves of righteousness” (Romans 6:18). How can such blessings come to any believer? The answer is to be understood by a few key words in Romans Chapter Six:

1. KNOW that the old self was crucified with Him, that our body of sin might be done away (made powerless), that we should no longer be slaves to sin (Romans 6:6). This scripture teaches that when the Lord Jesus died for us on the cross, He did more than pay for the penalty of sin. He also broke the power of sin over those who have become united with Him (Romans 6:5). He defeated sin and death, so now His people are able to overcome the power of sin in daily living because we are no longer “slaves to sin.” As far as sin is concerned, the Lord Jesus is the “double cure”, saving us both from its penalty (death) and its power. Sadly, most believers seem to be totally ignorant of this fact. When a believer stops thinking that he sins because he “can’t help it” and realizes he is no longer weak and powerless when dealing with sin, then he can experience victory. However, he must know the basis of this victory. It is that Christ once and for all broke the power of sin over us. We may still be living in a body of weakness and will surely be tempted, but through our union with Him, we can have the benefit of His victory by claiming it daily.

2. “CONSIDER yourselves (or reckon yourselves) to be dead to sin, but alive to God in Christ Jesus” (Romans 6:11). This enables us to enjoy daily victory over sin by an attitude of mind that brings Christ’s victory into our personal experience. The fact of being “freed from sin” must be translated into daily experience by daily dependence and reliance upon it. Scripture truths need to be brought to bear upon the way we live. We must first learn about the varied aspects of God’s provision for living a “saved life.” Then we must claim these truths for ourselves and put them into practice by faith. People are often more inclined to trust past experience and human observation to tell them what is true. We are on much safer ground by believing and obeying God’s Word. Knowing that He is One who cannot lie, we do not need to let sin reign in our mortal bodies that we should obey its lust (Romans 6:12). We should consider ourselves each day to be dead to sin and its power.

3. “PRESENT yourselves to God as those alive from the dead, and your members as instruments of righteousness to God” (Romans 6:13). This is the next important step in having daily victory. This makes clear that there is a continuing daily necessity to present our bodies to God for His control and use. We must become available to God each day and not rely upon some past act of dedication. Romans 12:1 states, “Present your bodies as a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual (or reasonable) service of worship.” The Lord owns us. We are not our own. We have been “bought with a price” (I Corinthians 6:20). That price is “the precious blood of Christ” (I Peter 1:18-19). Ownership must be translated daily into practical, dedicated and totally available control of the Spirit of God.

4. “PUT TO DEATH (mortify) the deeds of the body by the Spirit” (Romans 8:13). The victory Christ has won, and on which we must depend, does not mean that we are free from temptation, spiritual warfare and actively dealing with sin by the enabling of the Spirit. We must deal with the “old self” and put on the “new self” (Ephesians 4:22-25). We must lay aside falsehood, unrighteous anger, wrath, malice, slander, abusive speech and lying (Colossians 3:8-14). We must “put on the new self” who is being renewed. This will include compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. When by the Spirit we put to death the deeds of the body we manifest the life of God. This daily warfare is not intended to be some futile struggling of fleshly determination. Victory is to be enabled by walking “according to the Spirit”, not walking “according to the flesh” (Romans 8:4). In this warfare we need spiritual weapons such as prayer, faith, and the Word, taking up “the full armor of God” (Ephesians 6:11-17). Spiritual victory comes out of daily warfare when we claim the promises and enablement of God.

One final element in living a truly redeemed and transformed life is the importance of the cross in the believer’s life. In stating terms for His followers, the Lord Jesus said, “If anyone wishes to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily and follow Me” (Luke 9:23). Here is something that needs to be done if you want to become a follower of Jesus. Most of us might wish to avoid this or “explain it away” so that we do not need to face the issue. The cross was the instrument of death, as anyone in the Roman world knew. It is something that needs to be taken up daily, according to this verse. The parallel expression is used just before, saying, “let him deny himself.” In verse 24, the Lord speaks of being willing to “lose his life for My sake.” The meaning of the believer’s cross then is to yield or commit your life, or soul, daily to death to its own wishes in order to do the will of God. To lose your life (soul, psyche or self) is to surrender it to the Lord in order that you might truly save it with a consequent eternal benefit. H.G. Bosch has written this: “To participate in the life of Christ, one must first be identified with Him in His death—continual dying of the self-life, the willful, sinful inclinations, must be a daily experience.” Such a person can truly take his stand with the Apostle Paul’s stirring declaration in Galatians 2:20: “I have been crucified with Christ; nevertheless I live. Yet it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and delivered Himself up for me.” The picture presented in this verse is of one who allows Christ to live in him in a controlling way while he is yet here “in the flesh.” It is “no longer I” (the self life) controlling but Christ. We are not called to lose our personality or individuality or to be non-persons. We are valuable to God because He has chosen to count us as valuable in His sight. We are called to crucify daily “selfism” and its occupation with “me.” We surrender the assertion or defense of our will, our rights, our personal desires to the will of the Lord.

The Lord Jesus exemplified this kind of life during His own pilgrimage here. He said, “Not My will but Thine be done.” This surrender led Him to the cross for the sake of others, according to the will of God. There can be no following of Jesus without taking the same path He took. Life, victory and the unleashing of power come by way of the cross, not by bypassing it. Fruitfulness depends upon it. “Truly, truly I say to you, unless a corn of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains by itself alone, but if it dies, it bears much fruit” (John 12:24). This statement precedes a repetition of teaching about losing your life—in this world—in order to keep it eternally.

These major areas of Biblical teaching point the way to abundant, fruitful, and effective living. It is the way the Scripture prescribes, not the way of “popular Christianity.” A truly Christian counselor, therefore, should familiarize himself with these truths. Indeed, he or she must experience them to some degree in order to clearly teach these truths to others. To do otherwise is hypocritical. Few indeed are the counselors who lead those who come for help by these means. May the Lord help you be one of those few.

RC Questions Lesson 7 The Exchanged Life

1. What, in your experience or observation, has been the underlying spiritual cause of a troubled and unhappy life with some? What is needed?

2. Of the five initial steps or attitudes needed for a life of close fellowship with God, what in your experience has been the greatest need or needs?

3. Review the major principles of Romans 6 (plus 8:13) for a victorious or overcoming life. List any that you either do not understand or have had difficulty in applying (acting upon). What is the difficulty?

4. Why is taking up the cross daily important to victorious life? What does it mean to you?

Recognizing Root Causes And Symptoms

The omniscience of the Lord, together with His wisdom, enables the Great Physician of our souls unfailingly to diagnose the condition of the human heart. From the heart “flow the issues (springs) of life” (Proverbs 4:22). God searches and tries our hearts, referring to our inner being. He detects what would be missed by the superficial observer. He knows that our hearts are deceitful and wicked (Jeremiah 17:9). God can never be deceived. Unfortunately, human counselors can be mistaken in their analysis of people. We need every bit of help the Holy Spirit can give us. We need keen discernment as we listen to people. We easily can see the outward signs or symptoms. We may miss the root causes of problems. One major cause is that something may be lacking in their relationship to the Lord.

There are certain major things to keep in mind as you begin a counseling session. By doing so, you will have a better chance of determining root causes.

Things To Do

A. You need to listen carefully in order to determine the facts and thus properly understand a situation. Probe to find out the less obvious factors.

B. Help them to understand not only where they are but where they are heading. Your questions can and should clarify any muddled thinking on their part. Are they seeing things correctly? Is the way they are handling the situation beneficial?

C. Determine if they are willing to make changes. Often counselees are seeking your help in changing someone else or to change their circumstances. This most likely is beyond your powers. The point is, are they willing to make changes that might help the situation.

Things Not To Do

A. Do not press advice on the unwilling or unteachable. This is a waste of your time. You can pray that the time will come when they will be willing, with God’s help.

B. Do not assume their responsibilities or make their decisions.

C. Do not be a complaint department for charges or grievances involving third parties, or gossip or slander. (Proverbs 11:13, 25:8)

D. Be careful to pay attention to these persons:

1. Those who want help on their own terms. You should not be a party to this attempted manipulation.

2. Those who say they want to be accepted for themselves, but in reality are seeking acceptance of irresponsible behavior. God loves the sinner, but He certainly does not love their sins, which only harms them.

3. Those who want to talk endlessly about themselves or their problems, but who are not making a serious effort to act on counsel given. Talk without commitment to change should not be continued.

4. Those who make commitments but fail to act as agreed. This includes those who are consistently late for appointments or who cancel. Flimsy excuses for these incidents should be unacceptable.

5. Those who repeatedly use the vocabulary of evasion. Phrases such as: “I can’t”, “you don’t understand”, “that’s too difficult” or “that’s just the way I am” are an indication that they are not seriously willing to make an effort.

How You Can Help

A. Give verbal or practical assistance according to God’s Word. This includes encouragement, guidance, arrangements for help, correction of wrong thinking and suggestions for reading, listening and study.

B. Assistance, structure, follow up or accountability (under God’s direction) are vital to successful change. Without this, it is more difficult for those with problems to become overcomers.

C. When reminding them of God’s Word, let them read the verses in context and tell you what they mean.

D. Speak the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15). Both are necessary.

Your Goals As You Begin Counseling

A. Determine why they are coming to you. Are they seeking counsel, sympathy or just support for their own predetermined course of action? Have they consulted others? If so, what was the advice and did they follow it?

B. Establish personal rapport with the counselee. Win their trust by such things as warmth, sincerity, careful listening, compassion, patience and wise words. Use their names when speaking personally. Do not try to win them by compromising your principles or acting in some hypocritical manner. Remember that your eyes, mouth, facial expressions and body language will be noted.

C. Be true to God’s Word and your principles. The truth may hurt, however unintentional. You should not expect or seek to be popular with everyone. Are you pleasing God?

D. Verify your facts. Deuteronomy 19:15 says, “On the evidence of two or three witnesses a matter shall be confirmed.” Do not make a decision after listening to only one side (Proverbs 18:17). Do nothing in a spirit of partiality (1 Timothy 5:21). Be fair to everyone. Treat others as you would want to be treated.

E. Be as helpful and practical as possible in your counsel. This will help others make a major change in their attitude, perhaps even a complete spiritual transformation. Seek progress, however small. Do not continue to have mere conversational exchanges.

F. Remember that you cannot do for others what they can only do for themselves.

G. One more time…Do not accept their efforts to blame others, past or present, for their attitudes and actions.

Pray at the beginning of your time together. You need God’s help to succeed and they need to see that. While listening, in order to keep track of things, you may want to make some notes. If so, reassure them that you are not trying to keep some kind of dossier or private file with confidential information in it. It’s just to help you keep in mind all the relevant facts.

You can classify the information you are getting in several ways. Among them are these:

1. By Problem: There may be several of them, all in a tangle. You need to break down a big mess into its smaller components. If there is an immediate crisis on medical treatment, paying the rent or taking care of the children, see that some action is taken. Long-term conflicts or disagreements may be faced later. Define the major issues, especially where there is a real crisis situation. Try not to be superficial. Go beyond the obvious, such as, “We are not getting along in our marriage.” We want to know why and what needs to be done.

2. By Needs: This does not refer to the secularly defined need areas such as would be defined by Maslow. We are talking about Biblically defined needs beyond the obvious ones of food, water, clothes and a roof over your head. Biblical needs start with a right relationship with the Lord. There needs to be a proper understanding of the character of God. When this is distorted in the counselee’s mind, then they cannot get things properly straightened out. A good question is, “Tell me what you think God is like.” The answer may stun you. Wrong concepts about God distort people’s thinking. Start their thinking and yours with God’s perspective on true needs, not man’s wants. Nothing in the Bible suggests that we must aim for Maslow’s “self-actualization,” another word for the Hindu idea of “self-realization.”

3. By Applicable Scripture: Consider the Biblical principles that apply. Select the verses which apply in the clearest way. Ask yourself questions as you listen. Do they need to forgive someone? Make something right? Admit wrong? Forget the things that are past? Accept what cannot be changed?

There are other questions that you might consider as you listen.

1. Are they dealing with “the way it is” (reality) or the “way they would like it to be (wishful thinking)?

2. Does the way they speak, act and live correspond with what they say they want to be? Is there hypocrisy to some degree or is there sincerity?

3. Is there a lot of talk about their “feelings” without dealing with responsibilities or duties? Some people simply cannot talk without saying “I feel” several times in two or three minutes.

4. Is there “excuse-making” or “blame-shifting” as a major part of their personal account?

5. What motivational appeal can you make to bring about needed action? Is the good of their children enough to keep them working on a difficult marriage? Do they want to please the Lord, even if it is costly? Unless you find a strong motivational key in certain difficult situations, you may not succeed.

After this you can decide what are the real root causes, distinguishing them from the symptoms. Now you can discuss what may be needed as a radical (root) measure to correct the problem, rather than trying to apply what is called a “band aid” (superficial) measure. Now you can see if there is a willingness to bear the necessary personal cost in order to be an overcomer. Now you can cry out to God for His supernatural intervention—for the convicting work of the Spirit—in order to see lives changed for His glory.

RC Questions Lesson 8 Recognizing Root Causes and Symptoms

1. Listed in the lesson are three things to do and four things not to do. The last one has four warnings about people. List the things which are, or might be, a difficulty for you. Where have you erred in the past? Is there a reason?

2. Seven goals in counseling are listed. Which ones have you omitted to keep in mind or you might find difficult to pursue?

3. How have you tended to classify information and determine problems in trying to help people? Have you been missing anything in your approach and why?

4. There are five suggested questions that you might consider when dealing with counselees. Which of these has been either a new thought or neglected consideration in dealing with people?

Encouraging Change Through Counseling

If you were willing to accomplish for others what they should do for themselves, the Lord probably would not allow it. It is one aspect of your limitations. What is their responsibility, must remain their responsibility. Many passages in Scripture make this clear.

1. You cannot be saved except by your own faith (John 3:16, Ephesians 2:8-9, I Peter 1:9). Even parents cannot believe in a substitutionary way to secure their children’s salvation.

2. You cannot live in a way that pleases God without living by your own faith, not someone else’s faith (Hebrews 11:1). You cannot pray effectively, witness effectively, or live effectively without faith. Four times the statement is made in Scripture, “The just shall live by faith”, that is, their own faith.

3. You will be held responsible for your own life choices, words and actions. “Each one of us shall give account of himself to God” (Romans 14:12). Whether it is for sins at the Judgment of the Great Throne (Revelation 20:12) or for life and service at the Judgment Seat of Christ (II Corinthians 5:10), you alone will give account to God. God will not allow you to evade the responsibility for your own life.

How then can you help someone else? Primarily by helping them change the way they think about things. Thoughts precede actions. That is why the Lord considers lust in the heart as sinful as the act of adultery (Matthew 5:28); or inner anger sinful since it might lead to hatred and violence. People consider matters in their mind before taking either a helpful or an irresponsible action. Lingering thoughts of resentment, bitterness, jealousy and unforgiveness are like poison to the soul. In the matter of personal holiness, it is in the thought life that we often offend God, precipitate evil and damage our own consciences. Unless undesirable thoughts are exposed in counseling, or by confession, you will not be able to deal with root causes of problems. Sin begins in the heart and mind. This is where changes begin.

If you do not discern the errors or harm in someone’s thinking, you will not be able successfully to deal with their problems. That is why you must probe, thoughtfully and tactfully, the thinking pattern which lies behind most human behavior. By perceiving this, then considering the appropriate Scriptures, you will be able to take the next step. That is to help them see how these thoughts or inner attitudes are hurting them. It is not enough that you see it. They need to see it quite clearly. How can you do this?

1. Establish with them, by patient questions and discussion, exactly how they are thinking in the areas that bear upon their present behavior. We do not need to explore their lives all the way back to the womb, as some secular psychologists or psychiatrists are accustomed to doing. Remember that you want to deal with the here and now, not the past which cannot be changed. An unforgiving spirit is a good example. We need to deal with that now.

2. Help them see from Scripture, if possible, what the Lord has to say on a subject which has to do with their thoughts. This may, at times, take extended discussion. It should not be without limits. People sometimes have a difficulty in seeing that their thinking is harmful, even if it seems humanly justified. Hatred is an example. Having suffered at the hands of others, it is certainly understandable to have bad feeling toward someone. It is amazing that Jesus could pray for those who tortured, mocked and spat upon Him. Of course, we may say, “But He was the Lord.” Yes, and we are called to imitate Him (I John 2:6).

3. We ought not to give the impression that we are treating lightly the pain and suffering of those to whom we are listening. We certainly can agree that terrible experiences like abuse, molestation and abandonment would cause bad feelings in anyone. We should not attempt to justify wrongdoers but rather prefer to leave them to God’s justice. Vengeance belongs to Him (Romans 12:19). However, if we do not resolutely put behind us what is past, beyond anything we can change now, we will continue to suffer inwardly. Part of our problem is the need to forgive others in our hearts and commit them to God (Luke 11:4, Ephesians 4:32). Forgiving must start with the will, not the emotions. How otherwise could we ever love our enemies and persecutors? (Matthew 5:44)

4. Consider if their present way of thinking is of any real help.

These questions may help others change their way of thinking:

PRACTICAL… How are things working?

-If you continue just as you are, what will happen?

-If you continue handling relationships just as you do now, will they get better?

-If you continue your same habits, what will happen?

-If you hope things will change, how will you change to help bring this about?

SPIRITUAL… How does the way you live now reflect your professed relationship with the Lord?

-What is your present relationship to the Lord?

-Are your actions, ethics, and morals consistent with this?

-What must be changed to bring these into some internal consistency?

FUTURE EVALUATION… What changes are needed?

-How can you change the way you are handling things?

-What are the potential dangers if things remain as now?

-What would be the most helpful thing you can do now, if you take the long-term view?

Your goal is to help others change their viewpoint, when that is necessary. We mean by viewpoint the position they take in evaluating their situation. This involves their general perspective, which may have been warped by extended periods of thinking “in a rut”—endless repetition or reflection, called “going around in circles.” The result is to finish each cycle of inefficient thought at a dead end. Perspective means the appearance of things to our minds, whether or not it is accurate. Sometimes this has degenerated into what is called “mental set”. Such thinking has acquired a fixity that says something is true or unresolvable even if that is not the case. Without this being altered, there will be no progress. Defects in thinking produce defects in conduct.

Often people are completely unaware of this hindrance to fresh, creative or Scripturally inspired thinking. Stubbornness and pride are also factors. Distortions of perspective may be supported by any of these tendencies:

1. “Gun Barrel” or “Tunnel Vision”—This assumes that all there is to a problem is what we see through one narrow end. Surely there may be more than this!

2. Short-Term Vision—Instant gratification or immediate relief of some distress becomes the major principle of action. What happens long-term?

3. One-Way Vision—Seeing only what is good for me as all that matters. Do others matter?

4. Biased Vision—You can see one side of a matter, that which you favor. What about fuller consideration, which includes the other side?

5. Hurry-Up Vision—Impulsive decisions, lacking careful evaluation, often ignore various consequences. Can the decision wait a while?

It may help you to think in terms of what has been called the five stages involved in problem solving. The purpose of reviewing these stages is to see that there is a long road between recognizing a problem and making necessary changes as a part of your life. Here indeed you need the enabling power of the Holy Spirit.

1. Recognition—Do they really understand the basic problem or condition? Is it clear in their mind about what you are discussing?

2. Acknowledgement—Do they accept that they really have a problem in this area, that it is lying squarely at their doorstep?

3. Consideration of Consequences—Make sure they are clear about the possible consequences if they do not make a change; also the difficulties that may be involved in making a needed decision. If it was all easy, it probably would have been done by now.

4. Choosing to Change—Are they willing to go beyond the talk stage and make the necessary moves? When? Will they be accountable to someone that this really happens?

5. Integration of the Change—This means that it must be worked into a regular practice, where required. There can be no such idea as “I will try it out once” or for a few days, if you wish to succeed. Will they persevere or give it up after a brief effort? We are talking about being convinced to the point of committed perseverance.

It is always a sensitive matter to deal with someone who has been genuinely wronged, rejected or made to feel worthless. Still, negative feelings need to be overcome. We have all been wronged at some time in our lives. The Lord Jesus was terribly wronged in His earthly life. We must put these wrongs in this perspective as we discuss the matter. Are they willing to commit those who have wronged them to the Lord and forgive them in their hearts? It will be vital to their own healing. Have them real Matthew 18:21-35 and identify themselves in the story. Remember that the Master called the unforgiving person “wicked.”

Does it really matter so much when other people scorn or reject us, if we realize that the Lord Jesus, who was Himself “despised and rejected,” can accept us? Think of yourself as one of God’s dear children, accepted fully “in Christ,” God’s beloved One (Ephesians 1:3-9). What else really matters if this is true? It is because we love God’s dearly beloved Son that He loves and accepts us completely. Our personal achievements, appearance and intelligence, even our past, are irrelevant to this acceptance. It is important to forsake self-centered thinking in favor of Christ-centered thinking in order to have real peace and joy. Try giving yourself to others out of love for Christ and see if there is not an indirect benefit to you.

If you, as counselor, establish the right to be heard by the counselee through patience, kindness and careful listening, your counsel will be more closely heeded. If you appear to be condemnatory and harsh, this will be most unlikely, if not impossible. You can give very tough, but needed, counsel if the counselee feels that you really care about him or her as a person, not as a project. Difficult and painful things can be faced, although with tears. If you speak at the right time and in the right way, as one who cares, then you will make progress. Pray that the Lord will give a listening ear and a yielded will to the counselee. If the Wonderful Counselor is working through you, then be sure that you, like Him, will “do all things well.” The key is that you are an open channel to the Lord, and the other person is a yielded vessel for His supernatural work.

A final reminder: The most important change that we need to encourage in others, and ourselves, is to improve our relationship or fellowship with the Lord. Is the life of Jesus being manifested in our “mortal bodies?”

RC Questions Lesson 9 Encouraging Change Through Counseling

1. In the past, how have you attempted to help people change in their behavior in order to help them? How well did these methods succeed?

2. In trying to help people change their way of thinking, what suggestions seemed most helpful to you? Why?

3. In the five stages of problem solving which ones have you tended to omit in trying to help others? Why do you think you omitted them?

4. What do you need to remember to do in order to win the right to be heard by those you would like to help? What errors do you detect in your past efforts in this area?

The Importance Of Repentance

Everything we seek to do successfully in Biblical counseling requires the enabling power of God. The Lord Jesus said, “Without Me you can do nothing” (John 15:5). Without the power of the Spirit, how could we expect to see lives transformed and problems solved? It is evident from Scripture that the enablement of God is available only on a conditional basis. The major condition is yieldedness and obedience to His will. One critical issue in this area is repentance where it is needed. We are referring to repentance that is genuine, not shallow or incomplete.

What is repentance? There is some dispute on the meaning and widespread misunderstanding among ordinary believers. We ought to be clear on what we are talking about in this paper. In Scripture, the word means “change of mind.” Unger’s Bible Dictionary defines repentance as “a fundamental and thorough change in the hearts of men, from sin and towards God.” This thought is expressed by the prophet in Isaiah 55:7: “Let the wicked forsake his way and the unrighteous man his thoughts and let him return to the Lord.” John the Baptist, the great preacher of repentance, affirmed the same idea. He demanded that they give evidence of the desire to fully change their lives (Matthew 3:8). The same thought is in Jeremiah 18:11, 35:15. The Lord Jesus said in connection with salvation, “Unless you repent, you too will all perish” (Luke 13:3, 5). The warning was repeated many times in Acts 3:19, 11:18, 17:30, 20:21, as well as in the Pentecostal message of Acts 2:38. All true repentance will not only have a “change of mind” but such a change as brings about a transformation of behavior from bad to good. Unger writes, “Repentance contains as essential elements: (1) a genuine sorrow towards God on account of sin (II Corinthians 7:9-10, Matthew 5:3-4, Psalm 51); (2) an inner repugnance to sin necessarily followed by actual forsaking of it (Matthew 3:8, Acts 26:20, Hebrews 6:1); (3) humble self-surrender to the will and service of God (Acts 9:6).

Where is repentance most likely needed among counselees that we may see? It not only applies in what we think of as a major area, like immortality, but it may extend to attitudes of the heart. This includes unbelief, resentment, self-pity, complaining, pride and a lack of love. The response of repentance needs to be discussed, Bible in hand. It needs to be understood, acknowledged and acted upon. Incomplete repentance is that which will not be sustained. If repentance is needed, you will not be able to succeed until the counselee takes the appropriate action. This is true with respect to salvation, broken fellowship, or relationship to others. Where we have not done right towards others, we ought to repent and make things right. This may include restitution or restoring to others what they have lost due to any actions on the part of the offender. It may include necessary apologies and asking forgiveness. These must be sincere. Statements such as, “If I did anything wrong…” or “If I offended you, I’m sorry,” do not reflect true repentance.

Let’s talk about common areas where repentance is clearly indicated.

Immortality

If you are speaking to an unsaved person or one who professes to be a Christian yet practices fornication, adultery or other sex offenses, you ought to show them I Corinthians 6:9-10, Ephesians 5:3-6, Galatians 5:19-21, I John 2:4, 3:4-10. Carefully note that we are not talking about single instance sins (David is often mentioned by counselees). We are talking about practicing lawless sin, knowingly, repeatedly, rather than practicing righteousness. A true believer who sins in this critical area, will experience what David experienced in Psalm 51 and 32, where he felt terrible. After Peter denied the Lord, he felt miserable and certainly did not continue in this. Even if there is only a single violation, there still needs to be repentance. Do not assume a stance of condemnation, but rather of gentleness. God is the Judge and God is the one who requires repentance. Bear in mind that merely ceasing from this particular sin, then asking forgiveness, does not mean there are no consequences. David was forgiven but did not escape consequences (II Samuel 12:7-14). A sinning believer requires divine discipline (Hebrews 12:5-11). That person may also require church discipline (I Corinthians 5) in varying degrees, from private to public.

Where repentance may require, as it often does, ongoing accountability and counseling, make sure that it happens. This could be through appropriate leaders in the church or your own counseling. In adultery cases, many things need to be examined. Is there a clear break between the two offenders? Is further contact ended or now made impossible? Has there been counseling of both parties in a marriage which has been damaged by the misconduct of one of them? The injured or betrayed person may need help with forgiveness or cooperation in removing obstacles. The offender may need help in overhauling his or her thinking patterns. This may involve both the sexual area and or other considerations. What was the background, in earlier behavior or in thought life, that led to the adulterous offense?

In fornication cases involving singles, the older remedy always required them to get married, whether or not there was a reasonable basis of success. Often, the attraction was purely physical which is, by itself, a poor basis for a lasting marriage. The issue of salvation needs to be examined. The matter of healthy thought life, or even what are called in this country “dating customs,” needs to be aligned with Biblical principles about personal relationships. Any unhealthy situation should be noted and cleaned up. The way of forgiveness needs to be explained and then claimed on a proper Biblical basis. There are many other issues but, this will serve to introduce the subject.

Drugs And Alcohol Abuse

This type of counseling case will require special attention to ensure that the problem is solved and recurrence is avoided. You will need to know what drugs are involved and how long it’s been going on. Is there truly a life-dominating sin? Is there a willingness to make a clean and complete break now? If so, they will surely need ongoing counsel and accountability. The counselee will most likely need to attend a Bible-based support group of believers who have had some experience with deliverance. Secular groups may be helpful but typically are not Christ-centered. We want to anchor anything that we do firmly to the Lord Jesus and His Word. There is great danger of relapse in this area of misconduct. It will take great discernment to see genuine sincerity and firm commitment to change through the power of God. It must be admitted that there were no special support groups for drunkards recorded in the New Testament church. They were to replace drunkenness with being filled with the Spirit (Ephesians 5:18). Believers came together—not on the basis of their specific former sins, but on the basis of their fellowship in Christ.

Conflicts And Strife

Romans 12:18 puts the issue plainly. “If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men.” Sometimes it does not seem possible, but if it is, we ought to try for Christ’s sake, as well as our own good, to refrain from arguments and things that produce conflict. Much of it stems from stubbornness and some perceived need always to be in the right, whatever the cost. One famous proverb among us is that a certain person “always has to have the last word.” We really need to repent of this tendency, to see the sinfulness of motive that often lies beneath contentions. “All the ways of a man are right in his own sight, but the Lord weighs the motives” (Proverbs 16:2). “By pride cometh contention” (Proverbs 13:10). “Leave off contention” (Proverbs 17:14). “Contentious people kindle strife” (Proverbs 26:21).

Conflicts need to be settled by all the parties, acknowledging that no matter how it all started, they need to stop. We need to repent for any part we had in continuing arguments and thus perpetuating strife. Let the other person have whatever personal satisfaction there may be in feeling “right,” even at your expense. Your goal should be to be right in the sight of God, seeking peace wherever possible. This includes marital strife, endless arguments between children, or between parents and children. It certainly includes contentions in the local church (and with it, factionalism), disputes at school, at work, or in the neighborhood. The solving of this problem must start with a deep-seated repentance on the part of any who have contributed. Beyond this, we need to “seek peace and pursue it” (Psalm 34:14). “Blessed are the peacemakers,” the Lord taught.

Pride

Repentance is surely needed in this area, considering that pride heads the list of the seven things that the Lord hates (Proverbs 6:16-17). It is called “an abomination to the Lord” (Proverbs 16:5). It was this sin that was in the heart of Lucifer, leading to his judgment at the hands of the Lord (Isaiah 14:13-15). It is the sin that leads man to give glory to himself and not to the Lord. It is at the root of most conflicts.

It seems to be hard for many to recognize this insidious inner corruption. Despite the many Biblical exhortations to humility or meekness, people generally are not humble. The disciples did not seem to realize the great lesson Jesus was teaching when He washed their feet (John 13). They were indifferent to the need for this obvious and usual service. It was not they but He who took the first step. You will not likely accuse another person of pride and find him readily acknowledging that this is true. Only by questioning with patience a person open to the Spirit’s work will this be confessed. Then repentance can follow. It absolutely breaks fellowship with God to continue in this sin. It may lie hidden as merely self-confidence or an independent spirit, but it is still pride that is at the root. This needs to be uprooted.

Sinful Attitudes Toward God

It is bad to have a sinful attitude towards others; it is worse to have it towards God, our Creator and Lord. It is bad because of who He is and who we are. He is the Potter and we are the clay (Jeremiah 18:1-6). He has a perfect right to deal with us in any way He sees fit, just as the Potter does with any clay. We have been bought with a price. We are not our own (I Corinthians 6:20, 7:23). We need to repent whenever we forget this.

Perhaps the worst of all attitudes is hatred towards God, or even its beginning emotion, resentment towards God. Much of this is not expressed openly in obvious terms. It must therefore be brought out by frank questions like, “Do you have resentment in your heart towards the Lord?” People turn against the Lord out of dissatisfaction or grief concerning the way life has turned out or because of some tragedy that has occurred. They charge God of wrongdoing, blaming Him for allowing certain things to have happened. The cause, however, may be the outworking of sin in their life, or, as seen in Job chapters 1 and 2, may be the instigation of the Devil. The cause may be utterly beyond our ability to understand or trace. Those without even the slightest claim of merit in their walk with God become angry with Him because they do not like some development or consequence of their own choices. It is possible for even a believer to imagine that because they “have always tried to do right,” God is obligated to them. He is the God of grace or undeserved favor towards sinful men and women. You can search the records of Heaven and not find the slightest indication of any debt by God to man. Rather, it is true that “it is of the Lord’s mercy that we are not consumed.”

What shall we say about the neglect of God? People who complain the most are the very ones who often have lived in a way that ignored the claims of God upon their lives. They professed to believe in Him, to acknowledge Him as their Creator, indeed the Supreme Being. Yet they live in a way that is totally independent of His will. They do not consider that the very purpose for which they were created was to give God pleasure. Christ died for us that “they which live should no longer live for themselves but for Him who died and rose again on their behalf” (II Corinthians 5:15). They do not seek His will. Often they do not pray unless they want something or have fallen into some difficulties. They do not give of the first fruits from their earnings to the Lord (Proverbs 3:9). They do not devote their time to any significant degree to His interests. They live for self supremely. Is this not something for which men should repent?

Wrong Priorities

This is closely allied with the above consideration. Jesus said, “Seek you first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness” (Matthew 6:33). When people, especially believers, do not they are being disobedient, and disobedience requires repentance. Is God first in our time, our material possessions, our service, our love and in our use of whatever He has graciously given us? Then we need to repent and change our ways if we expect His blessing. We need His enabling power to overcome problems and live triumphantly.

Never overlook the need for this corrective action in counseling. If God is necessary to the overcoming life, we need to recognize this principle condition of His work.

RC Questions Lesson 10 The Importance of Repentance

1. In what way has your understanding of true repentance been affected by this lesson? How would you be able to recognize shallow, incomplete or insincere repentance?

2. How would you go about dealing with a person who needed to repent, either saved or unsaved? How have you failed or succeeded in the past in this matter?

3. Six major areas of repentance are reviewed in this lesson. List each one and say how you would deal with a person in which you either know for sure or sensed this problem.

Ministering To The Unhappily Married

Marital breakdowns and broken families are one of the most tragic developments in modern society. This trend has made its way into the church. Whereas in the past decades the church was a bulwark against divorce and family disintegration, it has now fallen prey to societal pressures. The result has been to multiply the number of cases in which marital discord has brought professed believers into counseling. Even worse, some marriages break down and the parties simply leave the church without seeking help.

God invented marriage, not man, instituting it with our first parents as recorded in the first chapters of Genesis. It was for man’s happiness and good. God plainly set down the way of successful function in His Word. The problem is that man stopped listening to God and went his own way. The Lord said that he hated divorce (Matthew 2:16) and seriously limited the grounds on which it could be pursued (Matthew 5:32, 19:5). He forbade adultery (Matthew 5:27) and warned of its consequences. He told men to love their wives as Christ loved the church (Ephesians 5:25). He told wives to be subject to their husbands (Ephesians 5:24, I Peter 3:1). In these and other matters, God was ignored and many people paid a terrible price.

When couples come to us and seek counsel, we must find ways to help them heal broken relationships, friction and misunderstanding. They do no need our condemnation. They need our help and wise understanding. The general human causes of these troubles are varied. Often there are unrealistic expectations and demands by one or both parties, putting a great burden on their relationship. There may be a lack of knowledge of what to do. Much of what God’s Word teaches, and common sense tells us, is undermined by ungodly and worldly influences. This results in unclear knowledge of how we should function, man and woman, in our differing roles. There is often a lack of sensitivity to the other person. There may be less than ideal pairings of people at the beginning of the marriage. There may be unfaithfulness and broken vows. The major areas of conflict are in the areas of (1) communication or arguments, (2) debt and handling of finances, (3) sexual difficulties or maladjustments, (4) differences over how to deal with children, (5) misunderstandings and resentment over close relatives, sometimes called in-laws, (6) differing conceptions over their proper roles in the marriage.

There are some important questions to ask at the outset of counseling:

1. Do they truly want to heal their marriage and make it work?

2. If not, what is the reason?

3. Is infidelity (cheating) suspected by either party?

4. Is there interference by the job or work demands?

5. What are the major areas of conflict (see above)?

6. Was their marriage ever right, even from the beginning? If so, when did it start going wrong? What was the “fracture point” in their relationship, when it started to break down? What happened at that time?

One assignment that has been helpful to the author is to ask each of the parties, before they return again (as they ought), to list three major areas in which each one would like the other to change. Then, have them write down those areas in which they think their partner would like them to change. Tell them not to confer about their answers, but simply to bring them back to their next counseling session so that you may study and compare them. In most cases, the other party will agree that the assessment is correct. In other words, they knew what the other person wanted changed, but yet they did not do it. Ask why. Make theses suggestions into a set of goals on which each person agrees to work in a conscientious manner, if they truly want to make their marriage better. See how well they do. Their goal should be to please God, if believers; not just to please one another. Here are some specific suggestions in each of the major conflict areas:

Communication Or Arguments

What are the problems in this area? One way to find out is to give each of them a questionnaire which covers areas such as these:

-What is your definition of communication?

-What is most frequently missing when you communicate with your partner?

-What is your definition of listening to your partner?

-What negative things or barriers frequently occur in your communication with your partner?

Give each partner a list of the following 12 guidelines for improving communication. Then ask them to check what seems to apply to their own practices. How could those be changed? When do they feel the least desire to communicate? When do they feel most like communicating?

1. Listen quietly, without reaction (Proverbs 11:12).

2. Consider the possibility that you may be wrong (Proverbs 12:15).

3. Restrain yourself from “blowing up” during a discussion (Proverbs 12:16).

4. Speak kindly, not with a cutting tongue (Proverbs 12:18).

5. Be more interested in understanding the other person than in “having my say” (Proverbs 18:2).

6. Hear a matter fully before giving an opinion (Proverbs 18:13).

7. Avoid talking impulsively without careful consideration (Proverbs 29:20).

8. Remember how hard it is to put up with an argumentative person (Proverbs 21:19).

9. Remember the wisdom of such attitudes as humility, gentleness, patience and forbearance in speech (Ephesians 4:2).

10. Ask yourself if what you are saying is truly edifying (uplifting) to the other person (Ephesians 4:29).

11. Remember the reason why we should be loving and forgiving to others (Ephesians 4:32).

12. Quickly clear up any angry episode within the same day (Ephesians 4:26).

It is important to learn both the necessity and means of reducing arguments, especially of the angry kind. The couple must dedicate themselves to have a home environment of patient communication, harmony, restraint and forbearance, for their sake and that of any children. The alternative is frequent, angry arguments, sharp words and lingering disputes. This atmosphere is poisonous. Pride, including self-centeredness, is one cause (Proverbs 13:10). If we are determined to have our own way and be proven right in every matter, no matter what the cost, then we are insuring turmoil and resentment. The partner may be difficult, but it does not reduce the need to deal with this person effectively. One must have the goal of a harmonious home and be willing to pay the price by swallowing our own words and pride (Romans 12:18). Scriptures such as Galatians 5:20, I Corinthians 3:3, Ephesians 4:31, Colossians 3:8, James 1:20, and Proverbs 17:14 make the end of contention a mandate from God. Either an argumentative wife (Proverbs 19:13, 21:19, 27:15) or an argumentative husband (Proverbs 26:21) is an undesirable influence.

Ask the question, after helping them study these verses, what each of them needs to do to reduce the frequency and negative impact of such exchanges. Ask them, “What mutually satisfactory agreements must be reached, even as a compromise, in order to put these issues aside and prevent continuous repetition?” Do not have any serious discussions between the partners until they have calmed down, gotten all the facts straight and sought the Lord’s mind prayerfully. Forsake such practices as goading (needling) and nagging to get your own way. As a counselor, you might have to serve as arbitrator in these discussions over how to reduce these disputes.

Debts, Finances

This area is a frequent source of marital tension. There is much that can be done to reduce the occasion for arguments on the subject. The husband ought to support his family or “provide for his own” (I Timothy 5:8). When he is not working, not being diligent and depending on his wife for income, then you have the ground for trouble. The couple absolutely must heed the Bible’s injunctions about debt. This means to stay out of it. Much tension comes from piling up bills and abuse of credit cards, whether by one party or both. “Owe no man anything” (Romans 13:8). This need not refer to the usual and regular matters of rent, utility bills and matters requiring records. It does refer to the idea of “buy now, pay later,” a philosophy born out of the craving for instant gratification, or “more.” “The borrower is servant (slave) to the lender” (Proverbs 22:7). How true! You cannot help others materially or even help yourself if you are always in debt. What’s more, you won’t be able to give as you ought to God. Those in debt usually do not obey the Lord in the matter mentioned in Proverbs 3:9. “Honor the Lord from your wealth (income, material possessions) and from the first of all your produce.” When you do this, then you reap the promised blessing. “So your barns will be filled with plenty” (Proverbs 3:10). People do not realize that they are robbing God when they do not give properly to Him (Malachi 3:8-10). Then, He says, “You are cursed with a curse.” I Corinthians 16:1 is explicit: “On the first day of every week (regularly), let each one of you put aside (systematically) as God has prospered him (proportionately).” Finally, teach them how to make up a budget and live within their means, considering God first, necessities afterwards, and then what is left can be considered for optional purchases and savings.

Sexual Differences

This subject is not everything in a marriage, but it is certainly an important thing. Consider first that the Lord made us sexual beings with sexual needs, desires and differing response patterns. The latter point is very significant. One source of misunderstanding is failing to realize that the responses of wives and husbands are significantly different, or at least based on differing patterns. It is the duty of both partners to understand both the biological and personality distinctions of the other and act accordingly. Sensitivity and proper communication on this subject can eliminate most difficulties.

The Scriptural standards are simple and to the point:

1. Meet the sexual needs of your partner. Your body’s rights belong to the other person, not you (I Corinthians 7:3-4). Sex is not to be used as a negotiating device.

2. Sexual relations within marriage are righteous in God’s sight, not something that is dirty or barely tolerated (Hebrews 13:4). Someone has said, “I will not be ashamed to discuss at the proper time and place what God was not ashamed to create.”

3. Seek to understand and adapt with one another your sexual relationship in a mutually cooperative way. You are different biologically, emotionally, mentally and experientially (I Peter 3:7).

A short reminder list of differences might be helpful to some:

1. Men are usually quick in sexual response, often too quick. Women require a longer period of arousal. Remember that. Be thoughtful.

2. Men are stimulated visually while women respond to emotional or environmental factors (nervousness, noise, light, scent, tenderness).

3. Men can be aroused sexually without any personal feelings towards a woman. This is abnormal and incomprehensible to a woman. That’s a major danger for men.

4. Men are quickly satisfied sexually. The opposite is true for women. Go slow and consider your duty to see that your partner is satisfied.

5. Men are less complicated, more highly focused in areas of sexual response. Women are sensitive in more areas.

6. Finally, never try to have sex with a woman when she is upset or hurt about something.

Differences About Dealing With Children

This often settles down to a difference of opinion about what is “too strict” and what is “too permissive.” The point is that discipline is commanded by God in the Word. That is how He deals with us and is a proof of His love (Hebrews 12:5-10). To spare needed correction, even corporal punishment where appropriate, is to show hatred towards your children, meaning that you do not love them enough to do it (Proverbs 13:24). There is much about the rod or punishment in such verses as Proverbs 22:14, 23:13-14. Clearly the Bible teaches corporal (bodily) punishment. However, there is no excuse for child abuse, brutality or leaving serious marks or injuries on their bodies. In some areas, this can be the occasion for your being arrested and charged with a criminal act, even without serious abuse.

The important thing in disciplining children is to make sure they are made to clearly understand, and see, that your motive is a loving concern for their good, not because you are angry. In fact, never discipline a child while you are angry. Another factor is consistency. It is confusing to them to allow something at one time and let them get away with something which is wrong, then to discipline them for the same thing at another time. Of course, they are going to test you, some more than others. This includes your patience. But you must be consistent. Be sure that both father and mother stand together and work together on the disciplinary pattern on which they have agreed. An excellent policy on which you are divided and about which you argue before the children is not as effective as a less effective policy that is maintained consistently. Children will divide you about this and seek to maneuver one parent against the other. Remember that character development and good habits are what you are seeking for their good. Think in terms of long-term character needs before short-term “peace” needs. Never use appeasement as a tactic. In the long run, it will fail. Do not use ethnic or family background practices as an excuse for not doing what God says.

Relatives, In-Laws

When you marry someone, in a sense you also marry into their family. This means that you cannot expect people totally to put out of their lives their mothers, fathers and other dear ones. There are some obligations. “Honor your father and mother” (Ephesians 6:2) repeats one of the Ten Commandments in the New Testament. You must determine what this means in practice. At the same time, there is also the “leave and cleave” principle (Genesis 2:24). This means that when you become “one flesh” with another, you must leave your father and mother’s home and establish a new home relationship. In this connection it is well to remember that, in general, it is not good to live with your in-laws under the same roof. That can mean problems. Also, it is not good to be dependent on your in-laws for support, jobs and services. Stand on your own feet. One particular blight on marriages is interference, or the appearance of it, in your affairs by the in-laws, however well meaning. This is particularly true in the matter of critical remarks. Watch out! Be careful not to make comparisons. An example would be, “My mother was such a wonderful cook or housekeeper. Why can’t you be like her?” Or “mother always did this,” or “father always did that,” “why don’t you?” That is explosive.

Differing Conceptions Of Your Roles And Responsibilities

In the modern western world, there is a great deal of opinion about marital roles which is utterly against what Scripture teaches. If you take your cues from this source, then you will not obey the Word. The world favors “egalitarian” marriage, meaning that both wife and husband equally lead the home. They “submit to each other.” This line of thinking attacks what is called the “hierarchical” or “patriarchal” teaching of Scripture as outmoded and purely cultural. Of course, the Bible teaches what the world defies. Read Ephesians 5:21-33 and see that this is so. It is important to stress that fulfilling the role that God has marked out for us, as men and women or wives and husbands, has nothing to do with inferiority. We are equal in Christ (Galatians 3:28). We are “heirs together of the grace of life” (I Peter 3:7). We are “one flesh,” not a couple of individualists. But in roles, woman was made to be a “helper” to her husband (Genesis 2:18), not the other way around. The husband’s assigned role of leadership does not justify tyranny, harshness or an insensitive domination. If husbands were consistent, reliable leaders, providers, decision-makers and the like, wives would be delighted. When husbands default in these areas, they are a disappointment. Men are not to feel sorry because they can’t have babies. That’s not their job. Women should not fret because they can’t do everything a man should do. We are made different physically, psychologically, emotionally and in roles. Stick to the Maker’s Manufacturer’s Manual, The Bible.

Love

This leaves us to ask the great question in marriage, “Do we love one another?” This should begin with another question, “Do we understand the meaning of love?” Often men and women have no idea of the meaning of real love at the time they are attracted for marriage. They have adopted the idea that love is simply an emotion. Much of it is rooted in the physical side. It’s something that you feel, they think. They know nothing of sacrificial love (agape), or constructive love, having in view the good of the other person. Have them put down their answer to a few significant questions. Have them do it separately. Then you can confer with them.

1. What do you mean when you say, “I love my husband” or “I love my wife?”

2. How is this love different from what you experienced before you married, or at the time you married?

3. In practical, meaningful ways, how do you demonstrate love to your partner?

4. How can husbands love their wives (Ephesians 5:25, 33)? How can wives respect their husbands (Ephesians 5:33)? How is this taking place in your marriage?

5. Do you expect your husband or your wife to fulfill all your needs, as you define them? What needs can they not fulfill?

Time Together

There should be a place for social and recreational time for husbands and wives. This might be neglected. When and how are they including this in their schedules? Is it all a matter of going to events, taking trips or spending money? Do they have good regular conversation together? (Probably not). Do they develop new friends and contacts that are wholesome? (Probably not). It is important for the husband to set aside time to listen to his wife and to spend time and listen to his children; also to have family outings such as picnics, group activities with other believers. What hinders an atmosphere of joy and peace in the home? Let’s draw up a mutual plan to correct deficiencies in these areas, after the crisis has abated somewhat. In fact, let’s develop a total plan, in priority order, to which they will commit themselves.

RC Questions Lesson 11 Ministering to the Unhappily Married

1. If an unhappily married couple (or even one of the partners) came to you for help, how would you begin in asking questions or seeking to know what were the underlying problems?

2. In the section on communication and arguments, what did you learn that was helpful and usable in trying to assist someone? What have you found to be major hindrances to good communication and harmony?

3. Why are sexual maladjustments and complaints so important in restoring marital harmony? What have you discovered to be the most important problems in this area?

4. Of the other major areas discussed (finances, dealing with children, understanding of roles, expressing love, and time together), what have you found to recur most often? How have you approached these problems, either effectively or ineffectively? What have you learned?

Premarital Counseling

One of the major areas of counseling needs is with married couples. One of the best ways to lessen this load, as well as deal with singles interested in marriage is by a strong premarital teaching program in the church. Some assemblies offer no special help at all. Couples come for marriage and arrangements are made for the service with little else offered. Other assemblies offer a very limited counseling assistance. What is given may be good but it is not sufficiently comprehensive.

The goals of premarital counseling should consider these questions:

1. Do the singles know each other well enough and long enough to realistically live with them permanently? In many cases, there are some unrealistic expectations and much misjudgment about the intended partners. The fact that both should be believers is not enough. How deep is their commitment to Christ and their maturity level?

Do their ambitions agree, their purpose for life, as well as for the marriage itself? Do they appear to be suited to one another? Has there been an attraction based chiefly on physical appeal or even sexual involvement? This should not be ignored. When this last factor (the physical) is very strong, the outlook for a good marriage choice is greatly reduced.

2. Another goal of premarital counseling is to have them consider the major areas in which there may be future misunderstandings or tension. The time to work on these is before marriage, rather than after. Do they know much about communication with one another, including how to listen? Have they spent too much time on physical attraction and not enough on the whole person? Do they know anything about how to make up a budget, including what they should give to the Lord’s work? How well have they handled their finances in the past? Is either now in debt and for how much? Will both work and for how long? Do they want children and when? What about their devotional lives now and what will they do together? Who are the “in-laws” and other relatives with whom they may be involved? Any potential friction here? Do they understand and accept their differing roles as husband and wife? Finally, do they have a fair grasp of what to do in the sexual area, especially understanding the differing natures of each?

These questions may prepare the way for us to consider the extent of your premarital counseling. Once you have decided what is to be done, and maintained, write it down and set up the necessary sessions. This permits others to consider whether they are willing to do what is necessary in order to have a good marriage.

Here are the areas of suggested counseling. Each should require at least one hour. Often the counseling couple has the counselees into their home for dinner and an informal “get acquainted” talk.

Initial Interview

Put the young couple at ease. Have them relate how and where they met and what attracted them to one another. You can determine by wise questions and keen observation as to their maturity and suitability for one another. Give them the names and telephone numbers of several counseling couples, each assigned to a different area. Tell them to line up their own appointments at approximately one month intervals. Make the sexual counseling session last. Inform the couples in advance of the names and telephone numbers of those who will be contacting them.

Role Of Husband And Wife

This is a place where couples need to be in general agreement and to know their responsibilities. Since there is today a great confusion on proper roles for husbands and wives in marriage, the Biblical standard must be reviewed. The secular, contemporary and egalitarian model of the non-Biblical world has dangerously infiltrated the church and Christian thinking. The Biblical mandates have been called patriarchal, hierarchical and outdated culturally.

Does each partner willingly accept (if believers) what God has laid down in the Word for proper roles? Does the husband agree that it is his responsibility to take care of his wife? Is the wife a “helpmeet” to her husband? Is she to be under his leadership? Subordination does not in any way deny her equal value in Christ or her dignity as a person of worth. If she has differing ideas, this needs to be brought out before marriage. Review Ephesians 5:23-33; I Corinthians 11:3; I Peter 3:1-7; Galatians 3:26; Titus 2:4-5, etc.

The widespread practice of working wives and dual incomes sometimes forces change from the Biblical model. We do not criticize the desire of couples to set aside funds for a home or other needs. This does require adjustments in duties in the home. It does put greater pressure on the relationship. Here are the major areas, some of which have already been discussed in Chapter Eleven.

Handling Finances, The Budget And Debts

These can be burdensome. Many believers have not learned to avoid debt as a possible trap. “The borrower is slave to the lender” (Proverbs 22:7). Credit cards are a menace, along with installment buying of goods and services, keeping you under a heavy burden of monthly payments.

Debts can also keep you from giving regularly and systematically to the Lord’s work (I Corinthians 16:2). You can “rob God” (Malachi 3:8-10). You can provide luxury options for yourself and not put God first but you will lose in the end.

Teach them how to make and live by a budget, often a totally new idea. Give them an assignment to work this out, providing a simple form to help. Who will handle the payment of bills, the checking or savings accounts, and the monitoring of expenses which can get out of hand?

Gain agreement on an appropriate and sensible standard of living, consistent with Biblical principles. If materialism is a danger, face it now.

Dealing With In-Laws And Other Family Members

When you marry a person, you also must incorporate into your life certain responsibilities each partner has towards near relatives. Certainly one cannot let them be needy or destitute in some way without seeking to be of help (I Timothy 5:16, etc.) There should be reasonable contact or communication with near relatives, not neglect.

Having said this, Genesis 2:24 is very clear on the “leave and cleave” principle. It often is disturbing, in western culture, to have interference, financial entanglements and common living arrangements with in-laws. Before marriage, couples should (as much as feasible) agree on the amount of interaction, involvement and ground rules involving both family groups. Then surprises or misunderstandings will be less likely.

Communication Assistance

This is more than help from a telephone operator. It means how to interact conversationally in a healthy way. It means how to listen. It means how to handle (or avoid) arguments. Discussions help understanding by giving additional understanding. Arguments are contests between people trying to impose their views on others. They are efforts to win, not lose, rather than efforts to understand and be flexible in our thinking. Provide help in the form of suggestions for counseling. Help them to learn how to do this better, if not perfectly. Start to learn now, not later in the marriage.

Determine barriers that may exist and seek to mobilize an effort to reduce them. Typical problems are:

1. One or the other is very quiet or not a natural communicator.

2. Unwillingness, especially of the man, to show inner feelings or attitudes, with the partner.

3. Differences in background or culture.

Discuss how to resolve conflicts or grievances peacefully and not “let the sun go down on your wrath.” Help them to recognize the danger of stockpiling grievances to bring up later—even years later. Teach them to forbear and forgive and to remember we are all married to sinners, even if saved by grace.

Spiritual Life Together

This means having Bible reading and prayer together. It is important to regularly (daily) pray with your partner, even briefly, preferably aloud so you can hear an “amen.” Commit yourself to work as a team. Forgive one another. Talk about the Word or spiritual matters naturally and frequently. Read the Scriptures briefly together (after evening meals or another convenient time).

The husband is to lead spiritually, not be dragged along by the wife to meetings, or leaving to her the spiritual initiative in the home. Lead means also to set an example.

Sexual Relations In Marriage

Sex originated with God. All that we are physically and psychologically relating to sex is by His design. Therefore, sex is not dirty, within marriage, despite any earlier, defiling experiences we may have had.

Sex is important but does not constitute either the whole or the cornerstone of the relationship. It is a part of the communication and intimacy arrangement of being “one flesh.” The act of sexual intercourse pictures mutual interrelationship.

Proper sexual intercourse is a mutual self-giving, rather than a “getting” for self. The pattern in I Corinthians 7:3-5 suggests that “authority” over our bodies belongs to our partners, not us. Therefore, it is not to be withheld or used as a weapon in disputes. Regular sexual relations are a preventative against temptation, including lust or mental fantasies.

There must be a clear understanding of the anatomical differences in responsive areas of the male and female. There must also be a clear perception of the psychological differences between men and women in sexual response. There is a great deal of ignorance about the latter area.

There must be sensitivity to people who are sexually untaught or shy. There must be reorientation of thinking in those more sexually experienced who have had worldly, defiled or misguided input. A Christian sexual relationship is unlike a worldly sexual relationship.

There should be proper preparation for honeymoon and post-honeymoon sexual relationships. This includes decreasing unhelpful anxiety or unrealistic, initial expectation. The sex relationship should be a growing thing.

One must also consider the area of having children and their attitudes or preparation with respect to birth control.

These areas of counseling may seem to be too much, but all are very important to a joyful, satisfying, God-honoring marriage. Most marital problems are in the areas listed above. Try to get an early start in working out differences. In later years, this will also have a profound effect on the children.

Premarital Counseling Policy

In our society, the institution of marriage is in a most uncertain state. In 1870, there were 27 divorces for every 1,000 marriages in the United States. In 1972, there were 455 for every 1,000. Today, 31% of all married couples have been through a previous divorce.

The problem is not with the institution of marriage, but with the people who marry and their attitudes toward the institution. God’s attitude is far different. He uses the permanency of marriage to illustrate the indissoluble union between Christ and His church. “For I hate divorce, says the Lord” (Malachi 2:16).

Elders should be concerned that Christian couples have been married without adequate preparation. Much of our counseling has consisted of fire fighting after marriage, instead of preventative counseling prior to marriage.

We believe that our responsibility goes beyond officiating at a ceremony. We believe that our primary ministry is to nurture marriages both before and subsequent to the wedding ceremony. Further, we believe that if a couple is unwilling to make a commitment to nurture their marriage prior to the event, then we should refuse to perform the ceremony.

Obviously, any couple of legal age may get married anytime and at any place they choose. It is noteworthy that the Superior Court of Los Angeles County, along with the courts in many other counties, has required premarital counseling as a prerequisite for obtaining a marriage license by minors. However, by agreeing to perform a ceremony at our chapel we are in effect indicating our approval and that we have done all that is within our power to insure a successful marriage. Therefore, we feel that certain prerequisites should be met prior to marriage (just as in the case of baptism).

We have established the following minimum requirements:

1. The elders should be notified at least six (6) months in advance of the desired wedding date. (The date and their engagement should not be publicly announced until after the first counseling session.)

2. The couple must be willing to engage in a minimum of six (6) premarital counseling sessions, including completion of homework, reading or assigned books, and listening to assigned tapes.

3. The couple must be willing to listen to the counsel of the elders in reconsidering the advisability of marriage in postponing the wedding in order to know each other better to gain greater maturity.

4. The couple must be willing to attend one post-marriage counseling session 3 to 6 months after the marriage.

Variations or waivers of any of the above requirements will be given by the counseling elder only in extreme situations.

A survey of similar premarital counseling programs in active, growing churches has been uniformly good with the following benefits:

1. Lower divorce rates.

2. Some couples mutually decide not to marry or to postpone the wedding.

3. Some couples have come to know Christ as Savior during the counseling.

Marriage is an unconditional commitment to an imperfect person. We believe this commitment is second only to a commitment to Jesus Christ as Lord. It should be considered prayerfully; it is a commitment for life.

RC Questions Lesson 12 Premarital Counseling

1. What has been your experience in having any kind of pre-marital counseling before your marriage? What would have been helpful if you had received it? If single, what help would you want?

2. What questions would you ask of those who seek counsel about getting married? What warning signs have you seen in singles going together which would indicated danger if married?

3. What would be the good signs?

4. What do you think should be a reasonable policy by the church leaders for approving marriages in the church? What conditions would you require being met? Are there requirements in the lesson that you think are unnecessary or undesirable?

Other Counseling Problems

The multiplied problem situations of people are more than could be covered adequately in a single, general study of this kind. We cannot be expected to illustrate each observation or recommendation, as much as we would like to do so. That would take a somewhat oversized volume, or many volumes. Various questions will arise on subordinate issues in which you want to ask, “But what about this?” All of these cannot be covered fully. We have tried to give you an overview of the most prominent counseling areas and a few guiding suggestions with each. In this final chapter we will mention some of these that have not yet been covered. They are the last, but not by any means the least, problems you may encounter.

Worry, Fear, Depression

These might well be the most common of all personal problems. In some ways they are related but we wish to make some distinctions and present the counsel of the Lord Jesus. We also wish to make some suggestions about helping those who struggle with these emotions.

Worry has been defined as mental distress or agitation, accompanied usually by uneasiness over some present or impending outcome. It is not only a negative way of thinking but an essentially useless exercise. It has been called a cycle of inefficient thought, whirling around its center—fear. It is fueled by a vague hope that we are helping in some area of perceived danger. As a habit pattern, it does not stay focused on a single area. Once a danger area dissipates, it is promptly replaced by another one. It is triggered by negative expectations. It often misreads any real likelihood of what is happening or may happen. Usually the thinking pattern runs in a circle or repeats itself in cycles. There is a certain feeling of helplessness in spite of trying to help by thinking about it. Sometimes it deals with a past which cannot be redone, or an effort to affect either present or future situations which are beyond anything specific we can do.

Fear is closely related to worry. There seems to be a greater apprehension, alarm or anxiety. We are not talking about a concern with an obvious basis in reality in present danger or probable cause of future danger. Rather, it is fear that is exaggerated or illogical. The psychiatric world uses the term phobias for this. This can be with respect to crowds, heights, germs, death or almost anything. One thing that must be done is to help the counselee think through the issue of whether this is a realistic possibility. How can you fear being without funds or means of support when you get old, if you have bank accounts and other holdings stuffed with more money than you will reasonable need? What do you do with a child who is “afraid of the dark”? Certainly, you begin with reassurance that there is no real danger.

We ought to begin with the words of the Lord Jesus. Matthew 6:25-34 covers the subject well. “Do not be anxious (worry) for your life” as to food, drink, clothing, what we would call necessities. These are simply common illustrations. And why not? Because the Lord says that since He provides for even the birds of the air, He will certainly provide for our needs. He asks if we can add anything to our length of life by worrying (vs. 27), with an obvious negative answer. He links the process of worry with a lack of faith in God’s promised provision for those who put His interests first (vs. 30, 33). He specifically warns against worrying about tomorrow when we have enough to occupy our minds today. This is a short way of saying, “Live one day at a time.” Romans 8:15 precedes a great passage on being secure as believers in Christ in vs. 31-39. It tells us that fear is a form of bondage of the mind. There is a spirit of fear, says II Timothy 1:7, but it does not come from God for the believer. Hebrews 13:6 is quite triumphant in saying, “The Lord is my Helper. I will not be afraid.” II Corinthians 10:5 speaks of “taking every word captive to the obedience of Christ.” Colossians 3:2 calls on believers to “set your mind on things above, not on the things that are on earth.” We can both pray for God’s help and direct our minds in a resolute manner to obey God in this area. We must learn to trust Him, rather than our emotions, in whatever it is that we fear.

There are means, certainly for the Spirit-indwelt believer, to let God control your thoughts. You can (1) reject worry and trust in the Lord; (2) determine to root worry out of your mind, that it might be replaced by joy and peace. How often the Lord Jesus appeared and commanded, “Fear Not.” Would He do this if such were impossible? Look to Him for protection, releasing your fears to Him. Must you always keep looking at the circumstances rather than to the Lord? The hymn writer put it well, “Take your burden to the Lord and leave it here.” This is not the same thing as praying to the Lord, giving it to Him, and then picking it up and carrying it away with us once more.

Depression means literally to be pressed down. It is a continued feeling of sadness, dejection and difficulty in concentration. It is triggered by some crisis. There may be the loss of a loved one, loss of a job, disappointment in romance or unhappy marriage. There may be a certain tendency towards this during a woman’s menstrual cycle. It may be when you are in ill health. There may be a family predisposition. The reaction to any of these things may be to give up, give in, and feel sorry for yourself. To some extent you may be choosing to be depressed, even though people say, “I can’t help myself.” Even an unbeliever can commit himself to get up off the floor emotionally, rather than to just continue to be depressed. Certainly by the power of the Spirit, the believer ought to be able to claim the enablement of God, the consolations of God’s Word, the fellowship of the saints and the opportunity to draw near to God. In all of the above situations, the remedy is quite similar. It is to understand what you are doing to yourself. It is to commit yourself to trust Him and find satisfaction in Him, not in circumstances. For some, you may need to consult a physician to see if there is an organic basis for this problem. These are infrequent. The phrase “chemical imbalance” is often used loosely as a cause for manic-depressive states, as an example. Such “imbalances,” and theories surrounding them, remain a subject for debate.

Occultic Involvement, Demonism

This area of human problems clearly involves the supernatural in a direct or causative way. This can lead to dreadful attacks of fear and depression or other manifestations. Occult means hidden or concealed. People deliberately involve themselves in experimenting with unseen powers, which are evil, by seeking guidance, knowledge of the future, healing and communication with the dead. These are deadly activities. Many who are introduced into this world think of it as being some kind of intriguing game. It may start with the ouija board (questions to a “magical” board for “yes” or “no” answers). It may involve talismans (good luck charms) or amulets which are said to have a magical inscription to protect against disease. Some might use fortune-telling cards or go to a palm reader or a psychic person who is in contact with the spirit world (called channeling). This is plainly spiritism, a direct effort to contact some deceased person through a medium. The voices that answer pretend to be that person and provide information. Many of these same things are involved in certain “New Age” practices.

Some follow the common practice of consulting horoscopes and astrologers for guidance in daily affairs or information about the future. You can be introduced to meditation techniques utilizing the repeating of a certain magic word given by an instructor, called a mantra. The latter word is often associated with a Hindu deity and can involve you with the spirit world. You may be involved in the use of drugs, especially what are called psychedelic (mind altering) drugs which cause hallucinations or visions. Question anyone suspected of such involvement and have them list every instance they can recall, beginning in childhood.

Any of these practices, or a history of them in the family, are exceedingly dangerous. They connect you with the demonic world and constitute a kind of “contract” by which they claim a power over you. Have anyone who has any connection with these practices read Deuteronomy 18:10-12. “There shall not be found among you anyone…who uses divination (trying to foresee future events by supernatural means apart from God)…or a medium or a spiritist who calls up the dead. For whoever does these things is detestable to the Lord.” Read the incident in I Samuel 28:8 where King Saul contacted a medium and came under the judgment of God. See the strict prohibitions in Leviticus 19:26, Exodus 17:22, Isaiah 8:19, 47:13, Ezekiel 13:6, 12:24 and Micah 3:11 (these people did it for the money). Urge those who have been involved to renounce them in the Name of the Lord Jesus and claim His power for deliverance. Break all contact with such things, repent of them and seek release from the demonic power which works in them.

This brings us to the general subject of demonism. There is no doubt that many groups have become obsessed with the subject, seeing a demon behind every illness, including the common cold, or every temptation of the flesh (as a demon of lust or greed or gluttony). Still, it is wise not to deny or ignore these evil powers. The Lord Jesus spoke much about demons and cast them out of people who were possessed by them. (See Mark 5:1-15 and the man called Legion). Aside from those who are demon-possessed, there are many others, including believers, who are oppressed or tormented in some way. Those who need deliverance from the demonic world are still among us, although more obviously in some countries than others. Demons differ in kind (Matthew 17:21). Some are speaking through men to spread false doctrines about the Lord (I Timothy 4:1). We might call them religious demons. Some are violent or criminal. Some are sexual as seen in the perversity and relentless nature of their acts. Some are more powerful than others. The particular evidence of possession would be a change in the voice, a differing personality from the natural one, supernatural strength and conduct that seems irrational. Dealing with them requires believers who are strong, who have had some experience or knowledge in this area and who will persevere. Extricating people is often difficult. A special prayer team is better than trying to do this alone. The use of the test in I John 4:1-3 is often made, but this is not beyond dispute. Be alert to the possible working of the demonic in the tormenting of either believers or unbelievers. However, do not try to see a demon under every bush. There are many questionable suggestions in popular “Christian” books on demonism, so be careful. The book A Holy Rebellion by Thomas Ice (Harvest House) is worth consulting.

Bereavement, Grieving, Suicidal Ideas

When any of us lose someone we love, we naturally feel the loss. Something would be wrong with us if we did not feel this. It is when mourning, sadness and feeling sorry about our loss is unduly prolonged that it can become a problem. Even with so great a figure as Moses, there was a limit of 30 days (Deuteronomy 34:8). It ought to come to an end, as we see with David when he lost his infant son (I Samuel 12:19-23). Death is something that cannot be changed. We need to get on with life, minister to others, get off self-occupation and accept the will of God. The Lord Jesus is the one who has the keys of death and the grave (Revelations 1:18). For the believer, the prospect is glorious. Absent from the body means to be “present with the Lord.” (II Corinthians 5:6-8). It is called “very much better.” But what of those we think might not have been saved? No matter how remote the possibility that someone was saved, we cannot know for sure. Maybe at some point, even in a dying moment, they might have “touched the hem of His garment” for salvation. In life, be pessimistic. This may be necessary as we witness. When death has claimed someone, you can be hopeful to at least a small degree. In any event, extended lamentation and grief is not a help and may hinder you. It may become a burden to other members of the family. Let us be like David was and get on with life.

Suicidal thoughts are serious, even if the person is not making a threat with serious intention. They may be using this to gain what they want. An infatuated person might say to someone who breaks off a relationship, “I am going to kill myself.” A teenager might say to a parent who suspends his privileges and keep him at home for a while, “I am going to kill myself if you keep this up.” We have been told to treat every threat seriously because if it happens, it has a finality. However, you can take notice of something without necessarily believing that it is a genuine intention, not a temporary threat. It ought to be obvious when someone, in a certain situation, is trying a form of emotional blackmail. You certainly should not marry someone simply because they might try to kill themselves if you do not. Only one person is responsible for suicide and that’s the person himself. It is not our right to decide this issue. It belongs to God. (See again Revelations 1:18). If any person is intent on suicide in a serious way, that person can succeed, because you cannot maintain a 24-hour watch indefinitely. A short-term vigil by a friend may be necessary. In extreme cases, these people are locked up in an institution for their own good. However, in time, they will be out and can still do it. Remember to listen carefully and be kind. Do not panic. Pray with them and for them, looking for the Lord’s intervention. Have a friend stay close and monitor what is going on.

Guidance, Seeking God’s Will

This might be the most popular subject chosen when a group of workshops are offered. People seem confused about the subject and want to hear some principles. This is true even when their main problem is that they do not want to listen to wise counsel when it is given. God is more willing to guide people than they are willing to take heed. It has been said that most questions in guidance involve either vocation (what job to take or what course in school) or location (where to live or move). There may be no explicit Scriptures. However, there are guidelines. It is likely that at least 90% of the will of God is written in the Bible in direct commands, principles or examples, both good and bad. When we do not acquaint ourselves with the Word, or take time to reflect on Scriptures, we may pay the penalty for ignorance. We may never have heard the command not to be unequally yoked with an unbeliever (II Corinthians 6:14). However, we will pay the price of disobedience, whether we knew it or not. As motorists know, when cited by a police officer, ignorance of something will not relieve you from paying the penalty. You have a responsibility to know the law of the Lord, just as you do with the law of the land.

People may come to us for counsel in diverse areas. These can include a romantic or marital choice, a job choice, a move, a possible separation or divorce, debt problems, an issue about schooling (“If I should go, what course do I take?”). Or just, (“Where am I going in life? What should I do?”). Certainly, we should not make the decision for them. If the person is not a believer, this is a good opportunity to bring before them the need for a decision to follow the Lord Jesus. If the person is a believer, then the following thoughts need to be considered:

1. Are you committed to do God’s will (John 7:17)? Otherwise you may not be happy about what needs to be done. Therefore, you will not do it. Do you fear the Lord’s will in some way? Do you think He will delight in sending you to be a missionary where you don’t want to go, or sentencing you to some miserable situation if you submit to His will? Is this your concept of God? Do you not realize that His will is good (Romans 12:6)?

2. His ways are not your ways (Isaiah 55:8), so there are things He desires that would never cross your mind. He is willing to guide you. Depend on that, for He promises to do this. However, it may not be your way or on your time table.

3. The Lord says you need to “ask, seek, knock” and continue to do so (Matthew 7:7). The verb tense indicates continuation. Are you willing to wait and not be impulsive? “Wait on the Lord” is one of God’s great imperatives (Psalm 27:14). He will test you on your willingness to do this, most likely.

4. Seek godly counsel (Proverbs 11:14, 15:22). The Word is full of this theme. The key word is godly, not just someone who you think will agree with you. God uses people to tell other people what they need to hear in every area, from salvation to life situations. Why is it hard for you to listen?

5. Notice circumstances only after other factors are considered, as listed above. Sometimes the circumstances can make it easy for you to do the wrong thing. Opened and closed doors that evidently come from God are important.

6. After all has been done, do you have peace in your heart about the decision you are making? Has God been a priority in this decision?

Hope And Encouragement

Life has been called “a veil of tears.” It is filled with disappointments. The hymn writer put it well, “Many are weary and sad.” It is important to note that one name for the Holy Spirit is “Paraclete,” meaning “Helper,” sometimes translated “Comforter.” It means literally, “the one along side.” We are surely “workers together with God” when we participate in His ministry. It does not help people to let them wallow in self-pity, “feeling sorry for themselves.” We do not need to say this directly to people but we need to keep it in mind. Our goal is to point them to the Lord Jesus who is forever the hope of the hopeless. We need to think of the Lord as the “God of all comfort” (II Corinthians 1:3). He has been called “the God of recovery.” The Psalms are filled with blessed thoughts of the Lord’s care when His own have fled to Him for refuge. That is one reason why so many people, even unbelievers, are drawn to the Psalms in times of distress. It is good jointly to read the Scriptures of hope, encouragement and promise with those who are despairing.

One word that is frequently uttered in distress is “Why?” Ultimately it will go back in thought to God. Why did He permit it or, as so many seem to think, send it? To read Job’s first two chapters is to help us understand that afflictions do not all come from God. Moreover, we need reminders that God deals with all His creatures in grace, unmerited favor, not out of obligation. God does not owe us anything. We are the debtors. It is important to take the long view of life. This means that the Lord, far more than ourselves, considers the eternal perspective in His permissive will. Life is the school of God. Character development and how we manage difficulties is far more important than the problems themselves. We want to see our circumstances changed, or the past reversed. God is interested in changing us, from the inside out.

Often in trying to help troubled people, we talk too much. We need to listen quietly, even when people rage about life. The best thing that Job’s “comforters” did, at the beginning, was to sit down and be quiet (Job 2:13). It was when they began to talk that they simply added to his distress. God said they did not speak to him what was right (Job 42:8). A troubled believer once said to the author, “If one more person quotes Romans 8:28 to me, I think I will scream.” The point is that many times we seem to go to people with what are called clichés or standard answers. We need to listen sensitively and then get their thinking geared to the Word, centered in Christ and His great purposes. “I know the plans that I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare (benefit) and not for calamity, to give you future and a hope” (Jeremiah 29:11). Our faith and hope must be in God (I Peter 1:21). Disappointing times are opportunities to review our thinking. This may lead to a corrected course.

In conclusion, learn to be an encourager to all. Be a Barnabas whose name means “son of encouragement.” If you have no other ministry than this, you will never lack for opportunity to minister. In the most dire of situations, seek to give hope to the one to whom you seek to minister.

RC Questions Lesson 13 Other Counseling Problems

1. How have you in the past tried to help people with worries, fears, and depressed states? How well did it work (or not work) and why?

2. What did you learn about demons in this lesson, either those possessed or oppressed? What would you do to help them?

3. How would you advise people who say they want to know God’s will in some area of life?

4. How would you give hope or encouragement to those in need of it? What is helpful or unhelpful?

Biblical Counseling Principles

1. The word of God is foundational.

2. God requires acceptance of personal responsibility.

3. Biblical counseling relies upon God to transform people.

4. Counselors need to be spirit-controlled channels of God’s work.

5. Our weapons are spiritual, not carnal.

6. Our model is the Lord Jesus, the Wonderful Counselor.

7. We must admit our human limitations.

8. Do not fear being considered “judgmental.”

Diverse Situation

1. Supportive Counseling

—Help them gain strength, perspective

—Stabilize troubled people

2. Confronting Counseling

—Get people to face sin, irresponsibility

—Confess, restore, yield

3. Informational Counseling

—Assist in obtaining necessary facts

—Help in discerning God’s will

4. Preventative Counseling

—Anticipate problems before they start

5. Spiritual Counseling

—Need of salvation

—What it means to “walk in the spirit”

—Highest purpose for their lives

6. Referral Counseling

—Send to others for specialized help or to those just as capable as you

7. Marital Counseling

—Threatened separation, divorce

—Arguments in various areas

—How to resolve disputes peacefully

Your General Goals in Counseling

1. Find the truth

2. Speak the truth

3. Help them see the truth

As you listen, ask yourself

1. Is there one problem or more?

2. Is there a right relationship to God and a right understanding of Him?

3. What Scriptures come to mind on the issues at hand?

Questions About The Counselee

1. Are they dealing with things as they are (reality) or is it wishful thinking?

2. Is there evident sincerity and consistency in what they say?

3. Do they talk about their feelings or their responsibilities?

4. Is there any excuse making or blame shifting?

5. What is your motivational appeal to this person in this situation?

Favorable Qualities For Biblical Counselors

1. They need the confidence of other believers.

2. Discernment is a major requirement.

3. Warm, sincere interest in people.

4. Emotional self-control.

5. Be saturated with the Word.

6. Some indication of effectiveness.

7. Have a well-balanced life.

1 Zilbergeld, Bernie The Shrinking of America: The Myths of Psychological Change p. 185

2 ibid. p. 191

3 ibid. p. 187

4 Szasz, Thomas, The Myth of Mental Illness

5 ibid. p.

6 Dr. Mowrer is referring to the incident recorded for us in Genesis chapter 27, where Esau sells his valuable birthright for a relatively worthless bowl of food.

7 Glasser, William, Reality Therapy

8 Crabb, Larry Effective Biblical Counseling p.

9 ibid. p.

10 ibid. p.

11 Bobgan, Martin and Deidre Psychoheresy p.28

Visitation Training: Training Members to Make Effective Home Calls (Student's Manual)

Visitation Training

Training Members to Make Effective Home Calls

Student’s Manual

A Ministry of Fairhaven Bible Chapel

Date | Assignment | Memory Verse | Key Question | Way of Life Week 1 | READ: Pastoral and Evangelistic Visitation | Eternal Life: John 10:10b; John 5:24; John 3:16; Romans 5:8 | Would you mind sharing with me how you became a Christian? | Pray, write name of an unsaved contact Week 2 | READ: Goals and Attitudes in Visitation PREPARE: First draft of your testimony. | What is Sin? Romans 3:23; Isaiah 53:6 | “Have you come to the place where you can say for certain that if you were to die today, you would go to heaven?” | Initiate an opening with an unsaved person Week 3 | READ: Winning the Right to be Heard | Death/Separation: Romans 6:23; Revelation 20:14-15 | “If you were to die today and stand before God and He were to say, “Why should I let you into my heaven, what would you say?” | Confess fears to God, keep reaching out Week 4 | READ: Initiating and Transitions | Need to Repent: Acts 3:19; Isaiah 55:7 | “May I share with you something that changed my life completely?” | Share your testimony with someone Appendix A | ROLE PLAY: Transitions and Initiating No Lecture Quarterly Exam | Christ’s substitutionary death, resurrection. 1 Peter 2:24; 1 Peter 3:18 | “In your opinion, what is the greatest change the Lord Jesus wants made in our lives?” | Go through the gospel with one person Appendix B | No Lecture. Turn in written Personal Testimonies & review | Review Week | Share testimony with an acquaintance Week 5 | READ: Call to Witness | The God-Man: John 1:1, 14; 1 Timothy 2:5 | “In your relationship to God, what do you feel is your greatest need?” | Share testimony with a relative Week 6 | READ: The Gospel Offer is Needed | Grace, not works. Ephesians 2:8-9; Titus 3:5 | “If you had a year to live, what changes would you make in your life?”

Week 7 | READ: The Gospel Offer is Just | Understand gospel: 1 Cor. 15:3-4; 1 John 5:11-12 | Bring a contact to church Week 8 | READ: The Gospel Offer Must Be Accepted | Receive Christ: John 1:12; Revelation 3:20 | “In what way would you like to minister to the Lord and His people? | Share gospel with one person weekly Week 9 | READ: Dealing With Oppositions | Submit to Lord: Romans 10:9-10; Phil 2:10-11 | None | Goal to lead one person to Christ this year Week 10 | READ: Asking Effective Questions | Warning to Rejecters: John 3:36; 2 Thess. 1:8-9 | None | Share Gospel with one person weekly Week 11 | READ: Hiding and Evading | Know & review all Gospel verses, outline & key questions | None | Share Gospel Week 12 | READ: Encouraging Others | None | None | Share Gospel with one person weekly Week 13 | READ: Analysis and Direction | None | None | Continue to share gospel Week 14 | READ: Using the Word | None | None | Review efforts to date and determine need for improvement

Commitment To Visitation Training

We do not ask for volunteers for visitation. Only those approved by the Visitation Training leadership and who meet specific qualifications are approved for visitation. The following considerations bear on approval:

· Sacrificially committed to Christ in daily living.

· Desire to minister to others in His Name.

· Committed unreservedly to the training for the full period, with a view to sharing this training.

· Be recommended. Apply for the training and be approved by the training leadership.

· Willingness to spend weekly 2 hours minimum in preparation for class.

Once approved, we expect the following of both trainers and trainees:

· On time, regular attendance.

· Memory work (verses and key questions).

· Reading assignments.

· Witnessing assignments (sharing Christ as a way-of-life outside of class or visitation calls).

· Respect and attention for those teaching or training. This means listening and participating in class and on the calls. It means directing any criticisms or complaints only to the leaders and not to third parties.

If you are consistently late, irregular in attendance, fail to do memory work or other homework, you will be asked to take the course at a later date. Our training depends on cooperation in this area. If an emergency occurs, which could not have been foreseen and is of supreme importance, then notify the Visitation Secretary of the need to be absent. This should be confirmed to the office before 2:00pm of the visitation day. Arrangement of calls and teams requires this courtesy.

My Commitment

During the coming period of training for visitation I make the following commitment before the Lord and with the believers who are investing their time and effort in sharing their experience with me. By God’s help:

1. I will finish the training and not drop out unless health or other emergency necessitates (2 Timothy 4:7).

2. I will be there ahead of time where possible and on time faithfully, so as not to disrupt the training input by the distraction of a late arrival (Ecclesiastes 3:1, Psalm 119:60).

3. I will conscientiously prepare my assignments in terms of memory work or reading material, just as any other important class (Proverbs 18:9).

4. I commit myself to share with others in their training when I have completed my own training (Romans 15:26-27).

I do this as unto the Lord Jesus and not unto men because He is the motivation for this effort.

Signature

Date

Sign this and keep it in the front of your notebook as a constant reminder. It is between you and the Lord (Psalm 15:4b).

Responsibilities Of Trainees

Our Purpose: To train in effective home visitation as a form of Christian ministry, including both evangelistic and pastoral calls. We intend to challenge believers to share the life they have in Christ in a regular way of life.

Prayer Partner: Each person will team with another class member for prayer support, assistance and challenge. There should be a minimum contact of once each week.

Evaluation: We will record your attendance, memory work, reading assignments, quiz scores, and visitation reports. We want to keep track of your progress in training. If you cannot complete your assignments or maintain progress, we will confer with you about the possibility of taking the course at a later date.

Role-Playing: We will ask some of you to participate in simulated sessions to demonstrate features of the training.

Testimonies: We want to help you develop your confession of Christ in a form as brief as one minute or as long as ten minutes. You should have opportunity to share it with others.

Book Study: These will stir up your thinking. Our questions are designed to help you apply the truths brought forth.

Way of Life Sharing: Any training limited to being practiced only one night a week would be deficient. Way-of-life reports are designed to stimulate your personal activity throughout the week.

Way Of Life Witnessing Assignments

One of the reasons why local churches don’t grow is that the believers simply fail to reach the unsaved with whom they are already in contact, and fail to seek new contacts actively. Someone has said, with regard to the life and future of any church, “evangelize or fossilize”. It has proven to be true time and time again. It will be true in your local church as well. That is why it is so vitally important to not only learn, but consistently practice witnessing as a way of life. Your training in sharing the gospel is designed to help you witness for Christ where you live, work, attend school, or anywhere else. Confessing Christ to others and sharing the good news of how you found eternal life in Him should be a way of life seven days a week.

Pray that God will open up opportunities for you to witness and give you “divine appointments”. You must be expectant, and you must work at it. Note the following steps:

PRAY for God to lead you to at least one person with whom you can share your faith. Write down a name that occurs to you. List in your notebook the situations in your weekly schedule which might be open for opportunities to witness (have lunch with a co-worker or a fellow student, visit a relative or friend, or even strike up a conversation with a stranger).

“Many of those who heard the Word believed…” Acts 4:4

INITIATE conversational opening with an unsaved person whom you do not know well or at all. Do an act of kindness, show interest, and get to know that person by way of “building a bridge” of understanding, even though you don’t begin by presenting the gospel.

CONFESS your fears to God about witnessing and appropriate His strength to press ahead. Overcome the “fear of man” (Proverbs 29:25).

ESTABLISH your bridge sufficiently with one person so that you can share your testimony because you have earned the right to be heard.

GO COMPLETELY through at least part of the gospel with one person, using either a pocket New Testament or a tract, briefly outlining the gospel for them on a blank sheet of paper. Pray more intensively each day for divine appointments.

SHARE YOUR TESTIMONY with a waitress, clerk, barber, beautician, gas station attendant, or similar person. Establish a minimum quota for yourself of weekly speaking to others about Christ.

SHARE YOUR TESTIMONY and the gospel with a relative. If you cannot do it in any other way, use the phone or write a letter. Also express your interest in them in other ways than witnessing.

SHARE THE GOSPEL with someone on a home visit. For example, you could go and visit someone in your neighborhood, or a friend from school or work.

BRING one of your contacts to a home Bible study or to a church meeting. Or bring them to your own home and share with them.

CRY OUT TO GOD to permit you to bring one person to Christ through your witness in the next seven months. Set down on paper any hindrances and determine to root them out.

Way Of Life Witnessing Report

Your Name:

Date:

Their Name:

Phone:

Address:

What did you do?

How did they respond?

What follow-up action do you intend to arrange?

Prayer And Visitation

Nothing goes well without prayer. This is true of effective visitation. Paul told the Colossians, “I do not cease to pray for you”, (Colossians 1:9). He told the Thessalonians, “Pray without ceasing” (1 Thessalonians 5:17). He begged them to pray for his ministry (1 Thessalonians 5:25, 2 Thessalonians 3:1). He prayed for an uncounted number of believers in many churches. He prayed for the unsaved, even a whole nation (Romans 10:1). The Lord Jesus was always a man of prayer. He still intercedes for us (Hebrews 7:25, Romans 8:34) as does the Spirit.

In calling therefore, pray beforehand and afterwards. We are engaged in a spiritual warfare (Ephesians 6:12). We must know and obey the laws of prayer. These include faith, perseverance, the will of God, the Name of Jesus and our own spiritual condition.

Be specific when you pray (names, situations to be changed). As to the unsaved, pray for conviction of sin, relief from demonic oppression, spiritual blindness, bitter or unforgiving attitudes. Don’t just pray, “Lord, please save them”. Children never ask for things in generalities, “give me what’s good for me”. They are specific and persistent. It should be so with God’s children.

“And Jesus answered and said to him, “What do you want Me to do for you?” The blind man said to Him, “Rabboni, that I may receive my sight.” Mark 10:51

Have a prayer partner, during visitation training. Contact each other weekly by telephone or in person. Pray for each other and for those whom you have called or will be calling.

Assignment Completion Form

Name

Date

Were You On Time?

1. Write out memory verses and key questions.

2. Did you read your lesson assignment for the week?

3. Did you share Christ this week and turn in a Way-Of-Life report?

4. Did you contact your prayer partner?

5. Other assignments, if any? (books, etc.).

Please correct the verses with your version, and check the Key Questions before you turn this sheet in.

Hints On Hospital Visitation

· To gain admittance to a hospital, simply say that you are a minister of the Gospel. A minister may visit at any time. Except in emergencies, the afternoon and evening hours are the better. Tests, X-rays, and therapy are usually given in the morning.

· Always read a short portion of Scripture and pray. It often adds a special dimension of comfort and warmth to hold the patient’s hand or to “lay hands upon him”. Try to avoid a cold and professional manner, and do not have an anxious and troubled appearance.

“…I was sick and you visited Me…” Matthew 25:36

· Make your visit brief. Long visits can be harmful, exhausting and almost unendurable to someone who is ill.

· Do not discuss the patient’s physical problems with him, and never make negative remarks as to his appearance.

· If the Lord gives you faith, pray for the patient’s healing. Our God is the God of miracles, and we should not limit His power. Above all, help the patient to be aware of the presence of the Great Physician at his bedside.

· Even if the patient is in a coma, do not discuss anything he should not hear. It is known that sometimes people who are in a coma can hear and understand what is being said in the room, even if they cannot communicate.

· Try to be cheery and optimistic.

· Don’t sit on the bed or otherwise do anything that might disturb or upset the patient.

· Be ready to perform any service that is consistent with propriety and with hospital rules.

· Never break a confidence between the patient and yourself.

Personal Testimony

By the second week, you should start preparing, in writing, your testimony.This will tell how you came to know the Lord Jesus as your Savior.

On the third week, you will turn it in for suggestions, to the Coordinator or Director of the Visitation Program. This will be returned to you. Review and revise accordingly. Write on 3x5 cards key thoughts.

Before the fifth week you must be prepared to give an oral testimony in class not exceeding 10 minutes, using only 3x5 cards, not reading. Look your audience (two or three persons) in the eye, giving your testimony as is it were to an unconverted listener. Tell them “how Christ changed my life”.

Your testimony will be evaluated (and returned to you) for clarity, conviction, and conformity to the suggested procedure. Remember not to spend much time on before. Be clear on the how. Tell the changes that might matter to others in after.

Preparing A Personal Testimony

The courtroom is the usual scene for terms like “witness, “testify” and “testimony”. It is in the courtroom of this world that these same terms are used of believers in Christ as they witness, testify or give their confession of faith in Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior. Paul charged his young disciple Timothy, “Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called, and you made the good confession in the presence of a many witnesses. I charge you in the presence of God, who gives life to all things, and of Jesus Christ, who testified the good confession before Pontius Pilate” (1 Timothy 6:12-13 NASB). Confession of Christ before others is a great privilege which can be used of God to bring others to Himself. It can also be the occasion of persecution and even death. The words “witness” and “testify” are translations of a Biblical word which relates to our English word “martyr”. It is used in that sense in Scripture (Revelation 2:13) as believers testified to their faith even unto death.

The Lord was clear in His call to His followers to be forthright about their relationship to Him. “Whosoever shall confess me before men, him shall the Son of Man also confess before the angels of God” (Luke 12:8; cf. Matthew 10:32). The opening of our mouths before others is linked even to salvation itself. “If you confess with your mouth Jesus as Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you shall be saved” (Romans 10:9 NASB). Our allegiance to the Lord Jesus should be no secret.

Content

A good testimony involves two factors. First, there must be a first-hand authentication of a fact. Ananias told Saul of Tarsus upon his conversion, “Thou shalt be His witness unto all men of what thou hast seen and heard” (Acts 22:15). A good witness deals with what he has seen or knows, not guessed or felt. A good witness for Jesus Christ tells how he met Christ, how his life has been changed and on what authority he makes claim to being a child of God. Second, a witness makes a solemn declaration under oath in response to a question about the truth of a matter. The believer is told, “Be ready always to give an answer to every man that asketh you a reason for the hope that is in you” (1 Peter 3:15). The Apostle John in his gospel gave testimony of the things he knew to be true (John 21:24). Paul wrote for the benefit of doubters that he was truly testifying that Christ was risen from the dead. If it were not so, he would have been found a false witness in the sight of God (1 Corinthians 15:15).

The testimony of a child of God often begins with the needs which brought him to Christ, especially the problem of sin. “Many that believed came, and confessed, and showed their deeds” (Acts 19:18). These were evil in the sight of God. The Lord Jesus has brought relief to millions gripped with a sense of guiltiness, emptiness, lack of meaning, lack of peace, fear of death and loneliness. Joy and purpose have replaced them. Yet supremely Jesus came to save sinners (1 Timothy 1:15), delivering then from the wrath to come (1 Thessalonians 1:10). Believers therefore testify to the time in their experience when they heard the gospel of their salvation and believed it (Ephesians 1:13). They received “redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins, according to the riches of His grace (Ephesians 1:7).

Any good testimony is Christ-centered (Acts 5:31-32). It is rightly called “the testimony of Jesus Christ” (Revelation 1:2, 9). Particular emphasis was given by first century believers to the fact that Christ has risen from the dead (Acts 2:32, 4:33, 13:30-31). Both prophetic fulfillment and the testimony of witnesses were cited by them. It is important to tell how Christ has changed our lives (1 Thessalonians 1:9, 1 Corinthians 6:9-11). Paul once was a blasphemer and persecutor of Christians (1 Timothy 1:13). He became their foremost champion. A good testimony often brings opportunity to solemnly challenge hearers as to the need of “repentance toward God, and faith toward our Lord Jesus Christ” (Acts 20:21). Remember that spiritual opposition is overcome by believers through “the blood of the Lamb, and by the word of their testimony” (Revelation 12:11).

General Outline

AS SEEN IN SCRIPTURE. The witness of Paul in Acts 26:1-29 is a scriptural example of a testimony which deals with Before, How and After aspects of receiving Christ.

· Before Christ was received (26:4-11). Paul tells of his religious background and resistance to Christ.

· How Christ was received (26:12-18). He tells of his meeting with Christ on the Damascus Road and how the Savior reproached him for his sins, yet called him to service of the One he had persecuted.

· After Christ was received (26:19-23). He speaks of the changes in his life and how he became a preacher even among countrymen who sought to kill him.

AS REFLECTED IN YOUR TESTIMONY. When giving your own testimony, keep certain things in mind:

· Befort Christ was received - a short account of your life before becoming a Christian. What elements in your former life caused you to see the need for a change? Which of them are common to the needs of others?

· How Christ was received - how, specifically you took the step of becoming a Christian. Be specific so that others will not see this as a vague spiritual change, but rather an encounter with the living God. How, when and where did this take place?

· After Christ was received - a very brief account of your life since becoming a Christian. What clear evidences of a transformed life took place? What are the benefits of becoming a believer? What touches the longings in the hearts of others?

Guidelines For Preparing The More Specific Content

The following guidelines should be observed in composing your testimony:

· Keep the Lord Jesus central, telling what He has done.

· Use the Word of God (Hebrews 4:12, Ephesians 6:17). Mention the verses that God used in reaching your conscience. This lends authority and brings conviction (Mark 1:22).

· It should end up sounding conversational, not professional.

· Say “I” and “me”, not “you” (share - don’t preach).

The Sequence Of Your Preparation

· •Accumulate brief notes on three separate sheets of paper labeled:

a) Before b) How c) After

· Write out a long, rough draft using your notes from the three sheets of paper (it will usually take about 10 minutes to read it).

· Cut your draft down to under four minutes to read.

· Outline your three-four minute presentation on a 3x5 card. Learn to give the testimony using only your outline.

· Learn to give your testimony in three minutes without the outline.

Testimonies Of Christians - Before And After

Before Salvation

terribly lonely, fearful, proud, selfish, frustrated, angry, searching, unhappy, dissatisfied, empty, haunted by unanswered questions, very shy, apathetic, messed up, insecure, seeking approval, loner, no meaning to anything, useless, desirous of things (cars, fun, drugs), void (missing something), bitter, just a number, life shallow, stubborn, lived for self, rebellious, depressed, aching for attention, hateful, restless, obsessed with death

After Salvation

love toward spouse/family, life is exciting/challenging/ enjoyable, acceptance, new motivations, able to quit bad habits, has purpose, not afraid to die, sense of direction, aware of God’s presence, re-aligned, desire to help others, secure, victory, no more fear, new ambitions, love, enjoy other people, obedient, joy, better person to live/work with, thirsty for the Word, inner peace, understanding, happiness (eternal), purposeful, lasting friendships

Personal Testimony

Read notes thoroughly and prepare your testimony according to the “Guidelines” and “Sequence of Preparation”. Your final draft should be recorded under the three major questions below which bring out the Before, How, and After of your conversion.

1. What was your life like before making Jesus Christ your Lord and Savior?

2. How and when did you make Jesus Christ your Lord and Savior? What were the circumstances? What Scriptures did you claim by faith? In a simple, understandable way, make clear to others the way to God. Be sure that Christ, rather than people or the church, is central.

3. In practical terms, how has your life been changed after making Jesus Christ your Lord and Savior? A commitment that resulted in a changed life is a mark of reality. There is no point in telling about a “decision” or prayer that had no such effect.

Outlining The Gospel

Offer Made

Eternal and Abundant Life: John 10:10b, John 5:24

Love of God: John 3:16, Romans 5:8

Give Your Personal Testimony

Offer Needed

What Is Sin? Romans 3:23, Isaiah 53:6

Death As Consequence (separation): Romans 6:23, Revelation 20:14-15

Need to Repent: Acts 3:19, Isaiah 55:7

Offer Is Just

Christ’s Substitutionary Death and Resurrection: 1 Peter 2:24, 3:18

The God-Man: 1 Timothy 2:5, John 1:1, 14

Grace Not Works (a gift): Ephesians 2:8-9, Titus 3:5

Offer Must Be Accepted

Understand Gospel Content: 1 John 5:11-12, 1 Corinthians 15:3-4

Trust, Receive Christ Revelation: 3:20, John 1:12

Submit to Lord and Savior Romans: 10:9-10, Philippians 2:10-11

Attitudes: the root of right and wrong

Positive: Loving (1 John 4:11-12); Teachable (James 3:17); Thankful (1 Thess. 5:18); Humility (1 Peter 5:5); Forgiving (Eph. 4:32)

Negative: Slander, hatred (Pro. 10:18); Argumentative (Pro. 18:19); Bitter, resentful (Eph. 4:31); Strife, jealousy (Gal. 5:20); Pride, self-sufficient (Pro. 16:18)

Guidance

Desire (Luke 22:42b)

Plans (James 4:15)

Trusting (Pro. 3:5-6)

Counsel of God (Psa. 119:10)

Counsel of others (Pro. 15:22)

Waiting (Psa. 106:13)

Growth:

Priorities (Matt. 6:33)

Lordship (Luke 6:46)

Commitment (Rom. 12:1-2)

Obedience (John 14:21)

Abiding (John 15:4)

Perseverance (Is. 40:31)

Reckoning (Rom. 6:11)

Yielding (Rom. 6:13)

Suffering (1 Peter 2:20)

Unity (1 Cor. 1:10)

Power (Eph. 3:20)

Holiness (1 Peter 1:15)

Discipleship (Lk. 9:23, 14:26, 27, 33)

Quiet time (Mk. 1:35)

Word (Jer. 15:16)

Prayer (1 John 5:14-15): Asking (Matt. 7:7); Interceding (1 Tim. 2:1); Praising (Heb. 13:15); Thanking (1 Thess. 5:18); Confession (Pro. 28:13)

Witness (Acts 1:8): Servant (Matt. 20:26-27) Laborers (Matt. 9:37-38)

Submission (Eph. 5:21, Heb. 3:17)

Grievances

Forgiving (Col. 3:13)

Overlooking (Pro. 19:11)

Correcting (2 Timothy 4:2)

Reconciling (Matt. 5:23-24) Confronting (Matt. 18:15-17)

Family

Husband (Eph. 5:23, 25)

Wife (l Peter 3:1)

Support (1 Tim. 5:18)

Children (Eph. 6:1-2)

Marriage (Heb. 13:4, 1 Cor. 7:3-5)

Parents (Eph. 6:4, Pro. 22:6)

Divorce (Matt. 5:32, 19:9, 1 Cor. 7:15)

Finances

Giving (Pro. 3:9, 1 Cor. 16:2)

Borrowing (Pro. 22:7, Rom. 13:8)

Church

Baptism (Acts 2:41)

Communion (Acts 20:7)

Fellowship (Heb. 10:25)

Ministry (1 Cor. 4:1)

Activities (Acts 2:42)

Leaders (Phil. 1:1, Acts 20:28)

Gifts (1 Cor. 12:7, 11-12)

Missions (Matt. 28:19-20)

Problems

Success (Joshua 1:8)

Restoration (Psa. 51:2-3)

Help (Isa. 41:10, 13)

Devil (James 4:17)

Flesh (Rom. 13:14)

World (1 John 5:4)

Sorrow (Psa. 30:5b, John 16:22)

Anxiety (1 Peter 5:7, Phil. 4:6-7)

Loneliness (Psa. 27:10, Heb. 13:5)

Bereavement (Psa. 23:4, John 14:1-3)

Burdened (Matt. 11:28, Psa. 55:22)

Difficulties (Rom. 8:28, 2 Cor. 4:17)

Temptation (1 Cor. 10:13, James 1:12)

Encouragement (Deut. 31:6, John 16:33)

Trials (1 Peter 1:6-7, James 1:2-3)

Victorious (1 Sam. 17:47, Romans 8:37)

Strength (Phil. 4:13, 2 Cor. 12:9)

Deliverance (Psa. 34:19, Isa. 43:2)

Comfort (2 Cor. 1:3-4)

Needs (Phil. 4:19)

Chastening (Heb. 12:5-6)

Fear (Psa. 27:1, 2 Tim. 1:7)

Sickness (Psa. 41:3, James 5:14)

Depression (Psa. 40:2-3, 42:5)

Give Attention

Thoughts (2 Cor. 10:5, Phil. 4:8, Matt. 5:28)

Speech (Pro. 15:1, Eph. 4:29)

Works/deeds (Titus 3:8, Eph. 2:10)

Conscience (Acts 24:16, 1 Tim. 3:9)

Body as the Temple (1 Cor. 6:19-20)

Return to the Lord (Luke 12:35-37, Titus 2:13)

Romantic Relationships

Not Anxious (1 Cor. 7:32, 35)

Priorities (Matt. 6:33) Others Directed (Phil. 2:3-4)

Yielded (Rom. 12:2)

Counsel (Pro. 15:22)

Yokes (2 Cor. 6:14)

Lesson 1 Biblical Goals In Visitation

Why have visitation? If people come to church, hear the message and then return home, have we not met our responsibility? If they have an emergency they can just request a visit and we will respond then. That is one way to look at it. It is the way most churches operate. However, in this system, there is very little opportunity to interact with people privately about needs and questions. A typical pastor (shepherd), or even the elders who are shepherds, can scarcely know the condition of their flocks by this system. How can they watch over their souls and give an account to God for them (Hebrews 13:17)? How can the Sunday School teachers and ministry leaders, be they men or women, shepherd their part of the flock without visiting them?

Visitation Is Biblical

“Pure religion and undefiled before God and the Father is this, to visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction” (James 1:27).

“I was sick and ye visited Me” (Matthew 25:36).

“The foolish shepherd…which shall not visit those that be cut off, neither shall seek the young men, nor heal that which is broken…woe to the worthless shepherd that leaveth the flock” (Zechariah 11:15-17).

“Thus saith the Lord God of Israel against the pastors that feed My people; ye have scattered My flock and driven them away, and have not visited them” (Jeremiah 23:2).

“They were scattered because there was no shepherd…none did search or seek after them…I am against the shepherds and will require the flock at their hand” (Ezekiel 34:5-10).

Visitation shows them that we believe people are valuable, and that we care about them. Routine calling merely to induce people to attend more meetings or to enlist workers is an inadequate spiritual objective. Effectively done it is an unfailing tool in assisting believers. It is a way of bringing souls to Christ. It requires spiritual people, the Spirit of God and the Word of God. Calling should involve the care of persons. It takes time.

General Objectives

PRESENT THE GOSPEL TO THOSE WHO ARE OPEN: Most converts are effectively won to Christ by personal contact, not mass evangelism. Learn to do this thoroughly and to avoid what has been called “spiritual malpractice” in evangelism.

SHOW INTEREST AND CONCERN. Reach out to them. Care should be evident in your manner and tone. We are taking an evening with them on their home grounds to say, “You are important”. We come as friends, neighbors, brothers and sisters. We are not there just to say things like, “We have not seen you in a long time. Where have you been?”

DETERMINE NEEDS REQUIRING HELP. An informal home atmosphere is ideal for people to open up about their feelings. A depth exchange is impossible with mere passing conversation at church meetings. We need to be aware of such things as hurts, offenses, marital strains or frustrated desires. This is an opportunity for spiritual, practical fellowship, not just a handshake at the door. We do not, like the Lord, have omniscience. Therefore we must be in touch with the Spirit, listen and observe carefully. Particularly, we must learn the method of the Lord in asking sensitive, thoughtful questions.

STRENGTHEN RELATIONSHIPS. We may not know this person at all. Thus we need to establish some kind of relationship so that we can communicate. Draw together with them. The person may be attending the services or even be a member of the local body. In that case we need to know them better, to draw together on a deeper level. When we do this we are seen in a new light and people say, “You are not at all like I thought!”. Building bridges of understanding is a significant accomplishment in calling.

DEFINE NEEDED ACTION. How can we help? There is more than talk required on a call. A physician needs to get acquainted with a patient, but he also needs to make a diagnosis. This requires sensitivity and perception. Is there a need of encouragement? Is there indifference, lack of commitment, a root of bitterness? Is there a clear testimony giving evidence of true conversion? Are there practical needs? Where is this person spiritually?

ASSIST WITH PROBLEMS. Who should be responsible to help? There are many who, in the words of the hymnwriter, are “weak and heavy-laden, cumbered with a load of care”. Many are the areas requiring practical help: marital tension, wayward children, grievances, financial disorder, doctrinal inadequacy, loneliness, and need for practical advice. By being observant, listening carefully, asking good questions, and desiring to be helpful, perhaps we can make a proper recommendation. Make sure that they are open to your recommendation before offering advice.

ENCOURAGE RESPONSE. Good discussion is often wasted by failure to invite specific action. Try to bring others to say exactly what needs to be done and to commit themselves to do it. Often it is necessary to challenge them. That is what the Lord did to the rich young ruler as well as with His own disciples. If they are willing to commit themselves to Christ, to spiritual objectives, to right priorities, then we should give them the opportunity to do so by asking.

COMFORT BY PRAYER AND SCRIPTURE. There is a dynamic impact of the Word of God on receptive hearts. There is a powerful effect when we pray with those upon whom we call. We should make use of both. The Holy Spirit is called “the one alongside”. He is there to encourage and we should do likewise. The Lord Jesus “healed the brokenhearted”. We can be used in the same way. Remember, in closing a visit, to ask: “Shall we pray together?” or “May I share something from God’s Word?”

What do we need to learn in a general way in order to do effective visitation? There is much lack in calling because callers do not feel confident that they know what to do. They lack experience and instruction and sense it. By improving your practical skills you can overcome even timidity in dealing with others. Timidity results in a lack of willingness to reach out. The spirit of timidity in the cause of Christ does not come from the Lord; it comes from inexperience and lack of proper training which builds confidence.

“For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, of love, and of a sound mind.” 2 Timothy 1:7

Seven Things You Need To Learn

Give thoughtful attention to each of these Scriptural principles.

TO BE SPIRITUAL (1 Corinthians 2:15, Galatians 6:1). How could you have real discernment unless the Spirit guided you and gave wisdom? You are not to speak “in words taught by human wisdom, but in those taught by the Spirit, comparing spiritual thoughts with spiritual words” (1 Corinthians 2:13).

TO BE CONCERNED FOR OTHERS (Philippians 2:4). Unless a person is convinced that you care about him or her, you have no hearing. They sense whether you do or do not. People certainly saw the concern of the Lord Jesus for them. That’s one reason why “the common people heard Him gladly”. Why should we be concerned? Because each soul is made in the image of God and considered worth dying for by Him.

TO USE COMMON SENSE (Romans 12:3, Titus 2:12). There are too many unpredictable things that can happen for anyone to be instructed in advance about every situation. Common sense is the ability to do the right thing, especially where obvious, without being prompted. You sense what is right, helpful, needed.

TO WORK HARD (Proverbs 14:23, John 5:17). The lack of this is evident in almost all areas of endeavor. The Word condemns a lazy person (sloth, sluggard) and praises hard work. The Lord demonstrated on earth that He was and is a hard worker. Many difficulties can be overcome by this trait.

TO BE TEACHABLE (Proverbs 1:5, 9:9, 12:15). God places much emphasis on teachability as a key to learning godly wisdom. The Word condemns an unwillingness to listen, take heed, respond and apply truth. Such people are likened to mules or jackasses. We must learn with appreciation, from God, from godly teachers, and from experienced guides. We must learn to look for teachability in those in whom we purpose to invest time.

TO BE FAITHFUL (Luke 16:10, 1 Corinthians 4:2). This is an absolute requirement by God. It was a characteristic of Christ, and one of His many names (Revelation 19:11). Confidence in an unfaithful man is like having a “bad tooth or walking on an unsteady foot (out of joint)” (Proverbs 25:19).

TO SHARE WITH OTHERS (Luke 6:38, Matthew 10:8). God has been generous with all of us. People have already invested time in training you, They will be doing that in this course. You must feel responsible to share what you learn with others when your training is completed.

To learn these and many other useful skills, classroom or group training is helpful, especially if Bible-based, not secular in orientation. Principles and goals need to be clearly established in your mind. This is reinforced by study, homework, memory work and examinations to check your understanding. Retention of what you learn must be followed by integration of these things into your calling pattern. Classroom training is not enough.

The best way to learn good visitation principles is by on-the-job training with an experienced person. That is the method used by the Lord Jesus with His disciples. He was a field trainer more than a classroom trainer. He taught by example and practice. He was the perfect Trainer. We are not in His league. Still the more experienced can teach the less experienced something. Both can learn from the input of others if willing to make an effort. An observer-coach who understands sound principles can make very helpful suggestions to a trainee. Even an “old dog can learn new things”, if the old dog wants to learn.

Lesson 2 Attitudes In Visitation

Your attitude in visitation is an important factor in determining your effectiveness. It may be the most important thing since it underlies your words and manner in dealing with others. Attitude involves your mental position, feelings and way of looking at people. It determines what you do, how you do it and whether or not you are willing to do it. Your attitude ought to be like that of the Lord Jesus in Philippians 2:5, “Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind let each of you regard one another as more important than himself. Do not merely look out for your own interests, but also for the interests of others. Have this attitude in yourself which was also in Christ Jesus”. His was consistently the model attitude for all believers.

How would the Lord Jesus feel and act if He were making a call? He conveyed clearly an attitude of caring and sympathy.

Some Suggestions

BE INTERESTED. Show them they matter to you. Their names should be known, used, and pronounced correctly. Listen to them, without hurrying to differ. Show them you think they are worth your time and effort.

BE LOW PRESSURE. Results that endure lie with the Spirit, not man. More time may be necessary. Be cautious in evaluations, especially in reporting “decisions for Christ”.

BE TOLERANT. God gives man the right to decide, even if his decision is bad. We should do the same. Some areas are matters of Christian liberty. Do not impose your convictions on others. Try not to contradict, insist, or interrupt.

BE COURTEOUS. Good manners forbid us to be rude or obnoxious. Jesus was neither. Exit as pleasantly as you enter. Learn to give “soft answers” which turn away wrath.

BE COMPASSIONATE. He certainly was. Start where they are and show that you care. Try, in your mind, to stand in their shoes. Jesus wept over a city that rejected Him.

BE CONFRONTING IF NECESSARY. This means to deal with urgent issues. Helping others often requires going to the heart of a matter, even if it hurts. Jesus did this with the rich young ruler and the woman at the well. Don’t be overbearing however.

Check Your Attitude

WHY DO THEIR PROBLEMS MATTER TO YOU? That may be what they are wondering. Selfish people generally are not interested in others and don’t want to be involved. People should be important to you because they are important to God. They are made in His image and, in His thinking, worth dying for.

WERE YOU GUILTY OF COERCION? It is easy to pressure people or try to overwhelm them with your arguments. That is not dependence on the Spirit of God. He gives people the right to make their own decisions. You should do the same.

WERE YOU FORTHRIGHT BUT NOT SUPERIOR? We can be bold in the power of the Spirit, not timid. Yet humility is the attitude commended by the Lord even in confronting (Galatians 6:1). Jesus was “meek and lowly”, but not weak. He said, “Learn of Me”.

DID YOU OVER-PROMISE? We are not salesmen trying to close a deal and therefore willing to exaggerate to help the process. We can not promise fulfillment of every human desire to gain an end.

WERE YOU TACTLESS? Even perhaps unintentionally. Consider the feelings and sensitivities of others in your speech and actions.

DID YOU SHOW YOU CARE? That is what people notice, long to see. They don’t want to be “a star in your crown”. They ask, “Do you care about me?”

DID YOU GET TO THE HEART OF THE MATTER? If you didn’t arrive at a decision about what might be needed, you are like a physician who can never seem to make a right diagnosis. Like a doctor, you must tactfully probe for any underlying problem.

Our attitudes strongly influence the responsive attitudes of others toward us. Their very willingness to listen, to be open to what we have to say, depends upon how they perceive us. Others may be thinking about us as callers:

· Can I respect this person at least in part, because he or she shows respect towards me?

· Would I like this person for a friend?

· Is this person believable and competent in the areas about which he or she is speaking?

· Is this person balanced, fair-minded and reasonable in the presentation of what he or she thinks, rather than an extremist? A good healthy sense of humor?

· Is this one interested in me as a person, not just someone trying to use or manipulate me for his own advantage?

· Can this person like me, even though I may not agree with him or her? Respect my right to have my own ideas, without “cutting me off?

Without a good attitude in the ministry of visitation, you will likely go about your work reluctantly and without enthusiasm. You will be tempted to feel it is a burden and to find excuses for cancelling the time allotted or dropping out entirely. With a good attitude, you can go in the power and Spirit of the Lord Jesus and with God’s blessings on your labors.

Lesson 3 Winning The Right To Be Heard

We sometimes feel that people owe us an opportunity to listen to what we have to say. Of course, they rarely feel this way. We must earn the right to be heard.

Most people would rather talk than listen. Often they go to places where people socialize in order to have someone with whom to talk. Children when playing together often try to shout louder than others in order to be heard. Wives often complain, “My husband never listens to me”. In conversation people sometimes impatiently wait for others to stop talking so they can express their views. They are not interested in listening. That is why the Lord said, “He that hath ears to hear, let him hear”. He really did have something important to say to the hearers. Sometimes we do not. Yet He too seemed to observe certain principles which help gain attention.

Our first objective is to establish a bridge of communication. This is called:

Getting On Their Wave Length

MAKE A FAVORABLE FIRST IMPRESSION. These are often lasting. You may not get a second chance. The first minute may decide if they will be open to you.

GET THEM TO TALK, INVITE RESPONSE. You are not there to do all the talking. You are there to encourage them to open up and express their true feelings. Use questions which invite discussion.

PLUG INTO THEIR EXPERIENCE AT THE RIGHT POINT. As you listen, try to find a point of connection between what they are saying and what you would like to bring up about the Lord and spiritual issues. Use a transition question and then pass the conversational ball back to them.

What To Do Generally

CEASE BEING STRANGERS. Break down barriers which arise when we don’t know each other well. Relax the atmosphere. Be informal. Appointments are helpful, but not essential. Review what information may be known before knocking.

MEET THEM WHERE THEY ARE. They may not live or think as we would. Accept their right to do this. Don’t be critical FIND THE ORDINARY INTERESTING. Learn to make “small talk” in opening the call. Comment favorably when you can. Speak to all, including the children.

CONSIDER THE SPIRITUAL SIDE. Move to these issues when you can. Make a good transition.

RELATE ON COMMON INTERESTS. Find some topic on which you can talk or share, even if unimportant to you.

COME TO THE POINT. Have the courage to get to the main purpose of your call. They expect that.

ASK WHAT THEY THINK. We are not there to browbeat or coerce, but to persuade.

“Come now, let us reason together…” Isaiah 1:18

When Making A Call Consider These Steps:

At The Door

· Knock, stand back without crowding the door.

· Talk casually while waiting. Be at ease and show it.

· Identify yourself (your name, your companion, the chapel).

· Name the person you are seeking. Find out who answered the door. Make sure if you are properly pronouncing the names.

· Be warm, friendly, at ease, informal, confident of reception.

Initial Conversation

· Meet each of those present in the family.

· Show interest in decor, animals, objects, books, as appropriate. Be tactful, sincere, not overdone.

· Speak informally, naturally, setting others at ease.

· Discuss briefly several casual subjects (their interest). Do not pry or bring up unpleasant things.

· Avoid lingering too long in this subject area. Look for an opportunity to open up spiritual matters.

· Move to church or spiritual matters; general attitudes towards sermons, classes, or their concern about God’s will for their lives. Move to crucial areas about fellowship with God.

DO’s

· Depend on the Spirit of God to prepare the way and give the right words (Luke 12:12).

· Be courageous and bold in going forth for God (Joshua 1:9). “The fear of man bringeth a snare” (Proverbs 29:25).

· Be tactful in questions and responses. “A soft answer turneth away wrath” (Proverbs 15:1).

· Be neat in dress and personal grooming. Nothing should detract from what we have to say.

· Be expectant that God will work through you to touch and change the life of another person for His glory.

DONTs

· Go out with the attitude that it is a burden and a duty. This communicates to others and hinders the Spirit. “The joy of the Lord is your strength”. Give yourselves willingly,

· Carry a large Bible. This has the effect on some of your carrying a gun and is intimidating. A pocket Testament can be carried instead. Most homes have a Bible that can be used.

· Feel that you must give a reference or full quotation whenever you cite Scripture. The Word has power without this.

On the following page is a diagram which indicates the path you should take in a conversation, depending on their response.

Win A Hearing

When you initiate a spiritual discussion, ask yourself;

1. | Interest? Give testimony. | Disinterest? Pray—Do not explain.

2. | Admit they have a need. | Deny Sinnership—give literature.

3. | Understand that Christ died for them. | Can’t understand the Gospel—offer teaching.

4. | Want to decide to receive Christ. | Want to wait—allow time.

We are called “ambassadors for Christ” (2 Corinthians 5:20). The duty of an ambassador is to represent the interests of his or her country. It is also to give a favorable impression on behalf of your people. Finally it is to understand the viewpoint of these people and to convey this accurately to the responsible people at home. As ambassadors, we must be enthusiastic about our Lord, His kingdom and what He has done for us. We need to convey that He is interested in their problems or struggles. He is willing to help them.

When all is said and done, ask yourself, “Did I really earn the right to have others to listen to what I had to say on spiritual issues, not personal opinions or peripheral issues?” Would they want to have me come again? Did I discuss critical issues, without either tactlessness or the fear of man? If the answer is “yes” to all three questions, you did very well.

Lesson 4 Initiating, Conversing And Making Transitions

Nothing in this world would ever happen (from a human standpoint) unless someone took the initiative. This means to speak the first word or make the first move rather than wait for someone else to do it. That is one reason why we visit. Initiative is necessary in doing personal evangelism or to reach out to the lonely, the needy, the discouraged. Active initiators are apt to accomplish more than those who merely wait for something to happen.

Take Initiative

BE ALERT FOR OPPORTUNITIES. The Lord was and is the Great Seeker (Luke 19:10, Genesis 3:9). We are called to seek, to “go”, to reach out.

USE INTERACTIVE DIALOGUE. Witnessing and pastoring requires dialogue, not monologue. Ask good questions that help others think, rather than give a speech.

FIND THE INTERESTED PERSON. Only “the few” will respond and show interest. Find them by sowing the seed widely and observing carefully who wants to follow the Lord.

WE MUST PERSEVERE when necessary, especially in prayer. Leave off pursuit when it is not indicated as Jesus with the swine-keepers (Luke 8:37).

Making Transitions

One of the most important skills to be mastered in speaking with others about spiritual things is the art of making a good transition. This involves a change in conversational matter, a passage from an ordinary topic to the spiritually sensitive area of a person’s relationship to Christ. Many people find this difficult in spiritual matters although practicing it in other matters fairly easily. This may be due to fear of offending or lack of purpose or direction.

Consider seeking to make effective transitions because they are:

Customary…a normal conversational form used even by small children.

Helpful…avoiding abrupt introduction of subjects by helping the other person shift to a different area Necessary…getting to key spiritual issues without prolonged generalities.

Three Major Steps

CONNECT WITH THEIR CONVERSATION. Begin at the point where the person is speaking. Listen closely to the conversational flow, looking for connecting opportunity.

MOVE FROM ORDINARY TO SPIRITUAL CONVERSATION. Consider how to connect this point of conversation to a significant spiritual area with a meaningful statement and/or question. This is like shifting gears in a car. Skill involves making a connection where there is some apparent relationship between the two points.

· Be alert for an opportunity to introduce the transition.

· Relate your transition to the point of their conversation, showing that you are listening. Example: “I have sometimes felt that way myself”.

· Use a connective word like: “but” or “however” to show a contrast or relationship of thought. This sets up your following statement and\or question. Example: “However, I realized that this did not help to solve anything. Life involves more significant issues”.

MOVE TO A SPIRITUAL QUESTION. In one or more sentences tie the two together in a transition which resembles the changing of gears in a car. The smoother the shift, the less jolt there is in the motion of the car. Now use a question which provokes thought in the area of the spiritual. Example: “If you had only six months to live, what would you be doing with your life? How would you prepare to meet God?”

Some transitions may be simple, direct questions without the connective form shown on the previous page. Paul Little in his teaching on how to share your faith, used these questions:

· “Are you interested in spiritual things?”

· “What do you think a real Christian is?”

· “Would you like to know how to become a real Christian?”

There are other possibilities in this approach. For example:

· “If someone were to ask you how to be sure of going to heaven, what would you tell them?”

· “If someone were to ask you, ‘Who is Jesus Christ?’, what would you answer?”

· “What is your chief goal in life?”

These illustrate how one can cross the gap between the ordinary and the eternal. The Lord Jesus showed great skill in moving from simple topics to eternal truths in a challenging way. He spoke no idle words. May the Lord help us to use our tongues as He did.

Improve Your Conversational Skills

Most people are poor conversationalists and may not know it. You can improve by working at it and observing sound principles. These include:

SHOW INTEREST IN OTHERS. Move out of self-absorption. Center conversation in them, not yourself.

GUIDE TACTFULLY TO THE SPIRITUAL AREA. Listen, draw them out. Help them think. Stay off detours leading nowhere.

Some Further Reminders: Avoid gossip. Keep confidences. Don’t interrupt. Ask yourself, “Is this edifying or uplifting?”

Lesson 5 Call To Witness

The Lord Jesus has commanded us to be His witnesses (Acts 1:8). His first call to the disciples was “Follow Me and I will make you become fishers of men” (Mark 1:17). His closing words of challenge are called, “The Great Commission”. “Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them…teaching them to observe all things, that I have commanded you…” (Matthew 28:19-20). Those commands included that of being His witnesses in an unbelieving world. This is not just for the few who have the gift of evangelism. They could never do it all anyway and could not assume responsibility for those in our circle.

We have a divine command and calling to witness which should not be conveniently forgotten. Read Ezekiel 3:18-21 if you need reinforcement on this point.

What Hinders Us?

· Is it that we doubt, “few are bound for heaven” (Matthew 7:14), and most are doomed? Do we believe this is in our heads but not in our hearts? Is it that we don’t care?

· Is it fear, shrinking from possibly offending someone or being ridiculed?

· Is it lack of commitment to Christ or spiritual strength that comes from a close walk with Him? We need the power of the Spirit (Luke 24:49, 1 Corinthians 2:4). Do you seek this daily?

· Is it that no one showed you how and you feel inept? Then, let this course encourage you to learn.

Our Calling To Witness

THE NEED: FEW ARE SAVED. The disciples asked, “Are there just a few who are saved?” (Luke 13:24). Listen to His answer in another gospel account. “Many will seek to enter and not be able. The gate is small and the way is narrow that leads to life and few are those who will find it” (Matthew 7:14). Look around you and remember His words. Remember also the consequences of not being among the few, “Anyone whose name was not found in the Book of Life was thrown into the Lake of Fire (Revelation 20:15). Jesus said, “Fear the One who has authority to cast into hell. I tell you, fear Him” (Luke 12:5).

THE COMMAND: SOW THE SEED. “The sower sows the Word” (Mark 4:14), that is, the gospel message (Ephesians 1:13), “the power of God for salvation for everyone who believes” (Romans 1:16). It is the means of people being born again (1 Peter 1:23). It may fall on different soils in human hearts, but it must be sown (Matthew 13:20-23). When we sow little, we reap little. When we sow much, there is more to reap. The problem is not lack of opportunities. It is not that there are few believers. It is because “the laborers are few” (Matthew 9:37). We have a command to bring others to Christ out of a dying world.

THE HINDRANCE: FEAR OF MAN. Someone may say, “I don’t witness because it is not my gift”. But witnessing is not to be confined only to those with a special gift. Who will reach your circle of contacts? Some say, “I don’t know how”. But what efforts are you making to learn how? There are many people and books to help you. Can’t you speak up about what Christ has done to change your life? Some say, “I don’t know any unbelievers. Most of my contacts are Christians”. Then reach out to meet unbelievers in a world swarming with those who have not so much as heard about the opportunity to “have a personal relationship with Christ”. The problem with most people is “the fear of man”. You may fear rejection, scorn, misunderstanding. Are you ashamed of Jesus? (Mark 8:38).

“The fear of man brings a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord shall be safe.” Proverbs 29:25

What To Do In Witnessing

GET EXCITED ABOUT JESUS CHRIST! Be enthusiastic about Him before others. Though He is the most controversial man in all history, He is the most fascinating. He is the main issue, not the unsatisfactory churches or the failing Christians.

PRAY FOR DIVINE APPOINTMENTS. God wants to lead us to seeking souls (Acts 8:26-39). Each individual person is important to Him and He will lead workers a great distance to speak to even one (John 4:3-7). Pray to win at least one soul to Christ!

TAKE THE INITIATIVE. Jesus was a seeker. He did not wait for people to come to Him. He visited many homes and communities to find lost souls. Seek to build bridges of understanding with others and to converse freely with them. Be interested in them. Anticipate that God has prepared someone and has a divine appointment for you. Consider strangers, neighbors, and casual contacts. Be alert for opportunities to start conversations. The Lord moved among diverse people, making contacts.

LISTEN CAREFULLY, INTERACT. Seek dialogue using the conversational formula previously presented (ask-listen-comment-ask again). Do not preach or give a long speech. Get involved in a profitable “give and take” of ideas. Steer the conversation to serious or spiritual questions. Evaluate their attitude, especially toward God. Find some common ground. Seek to detect spiritual hunger.

SHARE YOUR PERSONAL TESTIMONY. You must be clear about your own salvation and be able to make the way clear to others. Write it, rehearse it, and then use it. The next lesson will be devoted to helping you do this. Study the chart on “HOW TO WIN A HEARING”. Set a goal to share with at least one unsaved person each week.

USE GOOD QUESTIONS. This was the method of the Lord Jesus. Ask, “Are you interested in spiritual things?”. Those using questionnaires in general contact work ask, “We have been talking to people about how Jesus Christ relates to life today. Do you have a few minutes?”. Probe their attitudes about what is happening in the world today and where it is heading. A popular subject, due to a number of recent books, is the question of whether there is life after death.

Motivation For Witnessing

LOVE FOR CHRIST. Our greatest motivation should be the love of Christ (2 Corinthians 5:14). We can consider this in two ways. First, because He loved me and this love should constrain me to be obedient to His wishes. Second, it might be my responding love to Him in taking His view of the needs of the multitudes around us. The Lord didn’t ask Peter, “Do you love sheep?”, fish or people. He asked, “Do you love Me?” (John 21:15-17). If we do, we will obey Him (John 14:15, 21). He said, “Go, and tell them about Me”.

CONCERN FOR THE UNSAVED. If you need further motivation, consider this challenge by an unbeliever to a famed British athlete who was trying to witness to him. He said, “If I truly, firmly, consistently believe, as millions say, that the knowledge and practice of religion in this life influences destiny in another, religion would be to me everything. I would cast aside earthly enjoyments as gross, earthly cares as follies, and earthly thoughts and feelings as less than vanity. Religion would be my first waking thought and my last image when sleep sank me in unconsciousness. I would labor in her cause alone. I would not labor for the meat that perisheth, not for treasures on earth, but only for the crown of glory in heavenly regions where treasures and happiness are alike beyond the reach of time and chance. 1 would esteem one soul gained for heaven worth a lifetime of suffering…! would strive to look only on eternity and on the immortal souls around me, soon to be everlastingly miserable or everlastingly happy. I would deem all who thought only of this world, merely seeking to increase temporal happiness and laboring to obtain temporal goods -- I would deem all such pure madmen. I would go forth to the world and preach to it, in season and out of season; and my text should be, “What shall it profit a man if he gain the whole world and lose his own soul?” That challenge sent C.T. Studd to Africa to be a missionary. The fact is, as the atheist knew, most Christians don’t truly believe this.

ETERNAL FRUIT. There is eternal reward promised for those who win souls (John 4:35-36). Such a one is called wise (Proverbs 11:30). The one who does not warn the wicked of their eternal danger will find that God says, “his blood I will require at your hand” (Ezekiel 3:18, 33:8). We can sow, water, or reap but we are called to be active in the field where, “the harvest is plentiful but the laborers are few” (Matthew 9:37). Are you a worker, a sower, a soul-winner or just a bystander? Over 90% of all believers are said never to witness on any consistent basis.

Lesson 6 Outlining The Gospel

Careless evangelistic presentations are a danger to souls in two ways. First, it obscures true understanding. Second, it may result in a false profession. There are many aspects to the Gospel. That is why we see the Lord did not always use the same approach to all. There is no single way to present the Gospel, although there are many points of emphasis. It may be His Person; the One to whom sinners are invited to come. It may be His love that reaches out to the multitudes. It may be the sin that defiles and separates man from God. It may be His substitutionary death on the cross. It may be the fear of eternal punishment. Each of these is evident in Scripture.

To assist your understanding of the way of salvation, we have made available what we call the “Gospel Outline”. This is to help you keep in mind all aspects of the Gospel, without attempting to pin anyone down to one rigid presentation method. The full outline is contained in this course. The four major points are as follows:

OFFER MADE. Salvation is God’s offer to man to save him from his sins, that’s why Jesus came (Luke 19:10). It is made to “whosoever will”. All are invited to hear this proclamation of “good news” which is the meaning of the word Gospel. It is good news because the sinner is in grave danger of perishing if he doesn’t accept the offer of deliverance. The offer must be accepted to be effective, just as a drowning man must accept an effort to pull him to safety from the waters. This offer has been heard and rejected by millions. It has been accepted only by a few.

OFFER NEEDED. The finest offer in the world means nothing to a person who sees no need for it personally. The one we seek to find must experience the convicting work of the Holy Spirit and realize the need of forgiveness and deliverance.

OFFER IS JUST. God’s forgiveness for man’s sin is not as easy as many think. As a God who is both fully just and fully holy, He requires the due payment or punishment for sin. It is death. If we are to be saved from eternal death, then someone must pay the death penalty for us. That is what the Lord Jesus did on the cross.

OFFER MUST BE ACCEPTED. Millions have heard that “Jesus died for our sins” or that God is willing to forgive sinners for that reason. Jesus is wonderful. Salvation is wonderful. Some may even admit the need in their own lives. However, unless the offer of salvation is accepted in the Person of Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior, it is not effective. We must accept God’s offer on God’s terms unconditionally.

We will now break down the first two major headings into explanatory subpoints, each supported by Scripture.

Offer Made

· ETERNAL AND ABUNDANT LIFE. “I give unto them eternal life”, He said (John 10:28). “I came that they might have life and might have it abundantly (John 10:10). The offer takes man beyond this life to the life to come. Life is more than existence. It is a partaking of the satisfying life of God. It has peace, joy and many other blessings, far from the sad and troubled experience of many here. It is a life that starts here and now on planet earth, “He that hath the Son hath life” (1 John 5:12).

· THE LOVE OF GOD. “God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son that whosoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life” (John 3:16). This is perhaps the best known verse in the New Testament among believers. “Herein is love, not that we loved God but that He loved us and sent His Son to be propitiation (satisfying God’s justice) for our sins” (1 John 4:10). God offers true love, self-sacrificing love. God loved and God gave. God does not just love nice people. He loves sinners, even the worst, despite their sins which He does not love.

· PERSONAL TESTIMONY. It is in this context that you may have opportunity to tell what the love of God has meant in your life; how you came to experience the eternal, abundant life which He promised.

“I was blind, now I see.” John 9:25

The second major Gospel outline heading is:

Offer Needed

· WHAT IS SIN? (Isaiah 53:6, Romans 3:23). Sin is what separates man from fellowship with God. It is often the unseen cause of almost all of man’s miseries. Sin is the breaking of God’s law, not just the laws of man (1 John 3:4). It is “turning to our own way” (Isaiah 53:6). It applies to every one of us without exception (Romans 3:23). “There is none righteous, not even one” (Romans 3:10, 12). It is difficult to see how any thoughtful person could deny having done wrong things in this life toward God and man. This includes wrong thoughts and wrong motives as well as deeds. It includes sins of omission, failing to do what we should have done. How can we say before a holy God, “I am a good person”, when God says there is none good (Matthew 19:17)? The fact that “no one is perfect” is no excuse. The divine verdict on man as a sinner is “guilty”.

· DEATH AS A CONSEQUENCE OF SIN (Romans 6:23, Revelation 20:14-15). People generally believe that since all people sin, it cannot be too serious a problem. They also believe that simply praying to God to forgive you is all that is needed. Unfortunately, neither is true. “The wages of sin is death”; wages are what you earn and death is what sin deserves as punishment. “The soul that sins will die” (Ezekiel 18:4). The most severe consequence is not physical death. The second death, eternal separation from God in conscious suffering, is the worst result (Revelation 20:14-15). The Lord Jesus said men should fear this (Matthew 10:28). Only death can pay for sin, nothing else. This is either your death or that of a sinless substitute who can die in your place. That’s what the Lord Jesus did.

· NEED TO REPENT (Acts 3:19, Isaiah 55:7). This is a step that should not be slighted since Jesus said without it you will perish (Luke 13:3). Repentance means a “change of mind” about sin, your life, God and other spiritual essentials. It is a change of mind that results in a change of action; otherwise it is shallow, incomplete, and insincere. Isaiah 55:7 says, “Let the wicked forsake his way and the unrighteous man his thoughts, and let him return to the Lord”. The Old Testament exhortation is “turn ye”. You must decide to turn from your sins and turn to the Lord. This is more than saying, “I’m sorry, please forgive me.” Conversion is a turn around of life. Acts 3:19 says, “Repent therefore and return that your sins may be wiped away”. When people heard Peter preach with such conviction, they asked, “What shall we do?”, that is, to be saved. His first word at that point was “repent”. Repentance, like conviction of conscience because of sin, is not by itself “good news”. It prepares the way for the Gospel.

Let us review the Offer Needed with three series of questions to the one who needs to be saved:

· Do you understand the problem of your sins? Do you feel the conviction about it, a burden for God? Are you ready to cry out, “O God, be merciful to me, a sinner”?

· Do you understand that only death can pay for your sins? That this is the reason Jesus had to die, to pay your debt? That you are separated from God? Do you fear meeting God while still in your sins?

· Do you truly want to be changed, from the inside out, by God? Do you want to be a follower of Jesus instead of a pleaser of self?

Appendix Objections To Repentance For Salvation

OBJECTION: The word means “change of mind”. It is effected when you believe in Christ. Repentance simply means believing, in such verses as Acts 17:30, 20:21, 20:20, Romans 2:4, 2 Timothy 2:25 and 2 Peter 3:9. You therefore may call on men to believe in Christ without mentioning repentance.

ANSWER: “Change of mind” properly cannot be restricted to simply believing in Christ. “To repent is to change one’s attitude toward self, towards sin, toward God, toward Christ,” writes H.I. Ironside in Except Ye Repent. “Perhaps it will help us to see that it is one thing to believe God as to my sinfulness and need of a Savior and it is another thing to trust that Savior implicitly for my own salvation.” The use of the word repent in Revelation 2:5, 21, 3:3, Acts 8:22 and 3:26 includes the idea of turning from sin, not just believing something.

OBJECTION: The word repent is omitted in John’s Gospel and mentioned only once in Romans (2:4). It is not mentioned in such salvation verses as John 3:16 and Acts 16:31. Therefore it is not necessary.

ANSWER: It is not acceptable interpretive practice to slice the Word of God into various book portions and then refuse to accept a doctrine if it is not in certain ones. The exhortation to repent is found in the Gospels, in Acts, in the Epistles and in the book of Revelation. It is found after Pentecost, when the church was formed. Romans mentions repentance as a word only once but it does deal extensively with man’s sin and his need for a change of mind. John’s Gospel certainly deals with necessity of turning from sin. He brought the woman of Samaria to acknowledge her sin (John 4:17-18) and warned a man he had healed to SIN NO MORE (John 5:14). Those who have not turned from their sins, while professing to believe in Him, are warned that they will not inherit the Kingdom of God (1 Corinthians 6:9-10, Galatians 5:19-21).

OBJECTION: Repentance is a word for the Jews. The Israelites were called to return to the Lord from their sins as a separate act but this is not applicable to unsaved Gentiles.

ANSWER: Repentance is as much for the Gentiles as it is for the Jews (Acts 11:18). If it were not necessary to prepare the way of the Lord, the ministry of John the Baptist in preaching “repent” has no significance for us (Matthew 3:2, 11, 4:17, Mark 1:15). The disciples were sent to preach to the multitudes that “men should repent” (Mark 6:12). The Lord solemnly warned of its necessity (Luke 13:3,5). The Apostles repeatedly preached it after the church was formed. We have no proper Scriptural warrant to relegate this to Jews alone.

OBJECTION: The sinner is “dead in sins” (Ephesians 2:1). He is incapable of any such response to God as repentance.

ANSWER: Dr. Ironside writes, “To say that because as sinner, whether Jew or Gentile, is dead toward God, therefore he cannot repent, is to misunderstand the nature of that death. It is a judicial, not an actual death. The unsaved man is identified as sinning with Adam by nature and practice and so is viewed by God as dead in trespasses and sins. He is spiritually dead because sin has separated him from God. But actually he is a living, responsible creature to whom God addresses as a reasoning personality. “Come now, let us reason together, saith the Lord; though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow” (Isaiah 1:18). Spiritually dead men and women are capable of response to God, either negatively (Luke 13:34) or positively. Otherwise, they could not be judged for their unbelief (John 16:8-9). All human response, of course, requires the enablement of the Holy Spirit.

OBJECTION: Believe is the only condition of salvation in hundreds of verses. Therefore nothing else can be added, such as repentance.

ANSWER: we are saved through the channel of faith, and not by means of human works. This does not rule out the need to understand our sinnership, to desire to turn from our sins and to want to follow Christ.

Those who have opposed repentance as a necessity before salvation have rightly pointed out that the word does not require prolonged anguish of soul or self-torture. The earlier Roman Catholic practice of rendering repentance as “do penance” (acts to pacify God) cannot be justified at all.

Lesson 7 The Gospel Offer Is Just

The message of the Gospel, “good news”, is that God has provided a cure for sins. This remedy satisfies His requirement of the death penalty. It is made possible by the fact that Christ died for our sins, once for all, “that He might bring us to God” (1 Peter 2:24). Only death pays for sins - not prayers or good works. The Lord Jesus paid the debt for those who could come to Him, repentant and believing.

This principle of salvation is called substitutionary atonement. Jesus died to pay for sins, not just to show He loved us (the moral influence theory). The Passover lamb was sacrificed in death as a protection against the Judgment of God for the Israelites (Exodus 12:13-17). Thereafter millions of animal sacrifices were offered to God as memorials of the coming great sacrifice of Him who is called “the Lamb of God” (John 1:29). It was impossible for the blood of bulls and goats to take away sins (Hebrews 10:4). It was He who offered one sacrifice for sins for all times (Hebrews 10:12). By that one offering, He enabled us to be perfect for fellowship with God (Hebrews 10:14). He made peace with God through the blood of His cross (Colossians 1:20). By this we can be declared righteous and justified before God (Romans 5:9-10).

“The wages of sin is death…” Romans 6:23a

Could a righteous judge free a guilty murderer, robber or rapist for no other reason than his pity or love? Of course not! The Judge of all the earth cannot do this with even lesser sinners. It is amazing that so many people know and repeat the phrase, “Jesus died for our sins on the cross”, without knowing either why it is essential or what we must do to claim its benefits. If a person can be accepted by God because of good works or good intentions, why then did God need to send His Son to die for us on the cross?

“…but the gift of God is eternal life through Christ Jesus our Lord” Romans 6:23b If the work of the Lord Jesus on the cross truly pays the debt of sins, why would some think it necessary to do good works to merit salvation? Scripture says salvation is “not by works of righteousness which we have done” (Titus 3:5). It is by His undeserved favor (grace). Salvation is “the gift of God”; it cannot be earned. A curse is pronounced upon all who attempt to add good works or religious observances to the work of Christ for the purpose of being saved (Galatians 1:6-7, 3:10-11). Good works are the fruit of salvation, that which flows from changed lives. Deeds are not the means of procuring it (Ephesians 2:10, Titus 3:8). We are justified only by faith in the finished work of Christ (Romans 4:5); His sacrificial death provides the only way of salvation.

Why Did Jesus Die?

ONLY DEATH PAYS FOR SIN (Hebrews 9:22). “Without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness”. Mark this well: no forgiveness whatsoever by God without this! The wages of sin is death (Romans 6:23). Capitol punishment (death) is the only sentence available for sinners, Asking or praying to God to forgive you does not pay the penalty; nor does joining, attending the church or giving to it. This clear Scriptural principle is largely unknown even in countries that have a long history of exposure to the Word of God.

“Inasmuch then as the children have partaken of flesh and blood, He Himself likewise shared in the same, that through death He might destroy him who had the power of death, that is, the devil.” Hebrews 2:14

ONLY A SINLESS MAN CAN DIE FOR ANOTHER (1 Peter 1:19). He was like “a lamb unblemished and spotless”. He did no sin, knew no sin and in Him was no sin. His was the only perfect life ever lived on earth. Why is this important to our salvation? Because only a sinless person can take the place of a sinner to die in his or her place. Only a man, not an angel, can die for another man. He who was “holy, innocent, undefiled and separate from sinners” alone is qualified (Hebrews 7:26).

ONLY GOD CAN PROVIDE A SUFFICIENT SACRIFICE (1 John 2:2). Think of the number of sinners who have lived. Think of how many sins each has committed! How can such a vast number ever be encompassed in any sacrifice? Only in One who is the “propitiation (satisfaction) for our sins and not for ours only but also for those of the whole world”. Count them up! He paid for all of them. An infinite God paid an infinite sacrifice for an infinite number of sins. Jesus paid it all!

ONLY GOD CAN PUT AWAY SINS (Isaiah 43:25, Hebrews 1:3). “I am the One who wipes out your transgressions for My own sake”. Religious leaders asked, “Who can forgive sins but God alone?” (Luke 5:21). No one. Jesus Christ has power to forgive sins (Luke 5:24). No other has that right.

The Judge of all the earth must be righteous. He cannot lightly dismiss the due penalty for our misdeeds, our crimes against God. But we ask, “How can He ‘demonstrate His righteousness - that He might be both Just and the Justifier of the one who has faith in Jesus?’“ (Romans 3:26). It is not an easy task. “It is with difficulty that the righteous be saved” (1 Peter 4:18). God found a way, the only way.

Offer Is Just

CHRIST’S SUBSTITUTIONARY DEATH AND RESURRECTION (1 Peter 2:24, 3:18). The just demands of God for death for the sinner is provided by the gracious and substitutionary death of His Son. “He Himself bore our sins in His body on the cross”. He “died for our sins, once for all, the Just for the unjust, in order that He might bring us to God”. The death of Jesus was not just a great moral example. It was a substitutionary sacrifice. You must know more than the words, “Christ died for our sins”. You must know deeply the reality that “Christ died for my sins”; for me. If so, the debt is paid.

“It is finished” John 19:30

THE GOD MAN (1 Timothy 2:5, John 1:1, 14). In personal evangelism, the question is rarely asked, “Who is Jesus?”. Yet salvation depends on believing that Jesus Christ is God, the very “I AM” (John 8:24). That is why John’s Gospel was written; “that you may believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God and that believing you may have life in His name”. The term Son of God was equivalent in the minds of His hearers to be that of God (John 10:33, 36). The Gospel starts with the declaration that “the Word is God” and then says, “the Word became flesh”. He is fully God, yet also fully man (1 Timothy 2:5). The Father calls Him God (Hebrews 1:8). So did Thomas (John 20:28). Do you?

GRACE NOT WORKS (Ephesians 2:8-9, Titus 3:5). The most common misunderstanding in the minds of most people about salvation is that a good life, or good deeds, contribute in some way to making us acceptable for heaven. The Scriptures flatly deny this. “For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast. For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works” (Ephesians 2:8-10). Good deeds are the fruit of salvation, not a meritorious cause. Salvation is by God’s undeserved favor (grace) not by human goodness. You cannot be saved because you believe you are a “good person”. There are no good persons by God’s standard (Romans 3:10). That standard is 100% perfection (James 2:10). One unforgiven sin can keep you from heaven where only perfect holiness is acceptable. That is why God must count you to be perfectly righteous through faith (Romans 4:5).

Jesus Rose From The Dead

An essential proof of the Lord’s complete victory over sin, death and hell, is His resurrection from the dead. It was the consistent proclamation of the early church. On this basis, men were called to believe upon Him (Acts 2:24, 32, 3:15, 10:40).We must believe this to be saved (Romans 10:9).

Here are five proofs of the resurrection:

· According to the Scriptures (1 Corinthians 15:4). He fulfilled a thousand year old prophecy by doing so (Psalm 16:10, Acts 13:35-37).

· According to His own words (Matthew 12:39-40, 16:21, Luke 18:31-33). He specified the exact day of His resurrection (Matthew 27:63). Although His disciples seemed not to have understood, His enemies remembered the prediction.

· In spite of the Romans guard watching over His tomb (Matthew 27:63). Every effort was made by His enemies to prevent a mere pretended resurrection. They sealed His tomb and posted a 24 hour watch. They claimed the body was stolen while they slept. How did they know then what happened? Did every one of them sleep on the watch, knowing it was a death penalty offense?

· By the power of God (Romans 1:1-4, Ephesians 1:20). He convincingly proved that all He said and did was fully accepted by God. He was seen by hundreds of witnesses (1 Corinthians 15:5-8), even to “doubting Thomas” (John 20:20-29).

· Because His resurrection is essential to our justification (Romans 4:25). He completed the action where by sinners can be declared righteous. It publicly validated His claims.

Death could not hold Him. He did what no other man in history did or could do. The message of the risen Christ was the heart of the early church preaching. The believers had a message no others had. They believed and proclaimed “Jesus is alive!”. Do you believe this too?

Lesson 8 The Gospel Offer Must Be Accepted

“What must I do to be saved?”, a jailer asked the Apostle Paul. He answered, “Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ and thou shalt be saved” (Acts 16:30-31). Without doubt this brief answer was amplified later by Paul because a more complete explanation of the Gospel was necessary for understanding the way of salvation.

What does it mean to believe in the Lord Jesus Christ? Believe is a wide-ranging term used many ways in our language. It can be expressed this way, “I believe it will rain tomorrow”, or “I believe I will do this”. Thus it can be a tentative term, generally indicating a mental agreement or holding an opinion. That is not the way it is used in the Bible. Biblical faith is firm commitment, reliance and conviction. It has substance which attaches itself to specific truths in God’s Word. It is not faith in anything or faith in faith itself. People were saved when they truly believed the Gospel and responded accordingly (Ephesians 1:13, Acts 2:37-41). It was a life changing decision (2 Corinthians 5:17), not passive agreement. Our eternal welfare may depend upon a clear understanding of what we mean by “saving faith”.

Points Involved In Coming To Christ

WE ARE CONVICTED OF SIN (John 16:8-11). We acknowledge our sinnership to God (Luke 15:18, 18:13-14). We sense that it defiles us and grieves God. It separates us from fellowship with One who is infinitely holy.

WE REPENT OF OUR SINS (Acts 3:19, 17:30, 20:21). God summons us to turn away from our sins in order to turn to Him (Isaiah 55:7). The Lord Jesus says we will perish if we don’t repent (Luke 13:3).

THERE IS KNOWLEDGE OF THE GOSPEL (Acts 15:7-9, 1 Corinthians 15:1-4). The heart of that message is the Lord Jesus Christ (John 14:1). You believe on Him and on His saving work on the cross (1 Corinthians 1:18). The Gospel is the power of God to everyone who believes (Romans 1:16).

WE BELIEVE GOD’S WORD (Mark 4:20, John 5:24, Acts 4:4, Romans 10:17). Belief has a basis; a foundation. Faith comes by hearing and believing God’s Word.

WE RECEIVE GOD’S SON BY FAITH (John 1:12, 1 John 5:12-13). We become His follower (John 10:4-5, 27). You come to a Person, a risen, glorified Savior, not to a church, a creed, a denomination. Salvation is a personal relationship with Christ.

WE CONFESS HIM BEFORE OTHERS AS A RESULT (Matthew 10:32, Luke 12:8, Romans 10:9). Being a secret believer, one who hides his diligence to Christ, is dangerous. If one were married why would you want to hide the fact? You must take your stand with Him.

What Is Saving Faith?

Saving faith rests its whole weight upon the Lord Jesus Christ and His finished work. Faith is the instrument, the means, the channel through which the grace of God flows. It is not the source of salvation, nor an act of merit, not a moral excellence which makes one worthy. It is the empty hand that accepts what God freely offers. Like every other good thing, it is a gift of God (John 3:27, Romans 6:23), but this does not deny the moral responsibility of men to respond. Vengeance is upon those who obey not the gospel (1 Thessalonians 1:8).

FAITH HAS AN OBJECT (John 6:29). Faith means reliance or confidence. It is in a specific Person, the Lord Jesus. Jesus invited people to “Come unto Me” (Matthew 11:28); “Believe Me” (John 14:11). The question was asked, “Do you believe in the Son of God?” (John 9:35). “There is no other name under heaven that has been given among men by which you must be saved” (Acts 4:12). This excludes all other religious leaders, founders or systems.

“Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ and you shall be saved…” Acts 16:31

FAITH NECESSITATES CONTENT (Ephesians 1:13). The believers of Ephesus heard the Gospel, believed the Gospel and then were indwelt by the Spirit (saved). That is the sequence of saving faith. What then is the content of the Gospel? This Good News is that Christ died for our sins on the cross, was buried and rose again (1 Corinthians 15:1-4). That is “the full Gospel” of Scripture. It does not include promises of prosperity, healing on demand, perpetual health, special revelations, signs and wonders or happy days forevermore. It is the means of sins being forgiven and everlasting life through genuine faith in absolute dependence on Jesus Christ.

FAITH HAS A BASIS (Romans 10:17). Upon what authority can we rely for truth as to such an amazing promise as given above? Not human speculation or reasoning. Not comparative religion. Not family, tribal, or racial traditions. There must be an historical basis. This is available in the historic impact of the life of Christ. It has a documented basis, the Bible, the Word of God. There is a truthful basis, provable accounts in Scripture with witnesses. Therefore, “Faith comes by hearing and hearing by the Word of God”. “God was well pleased through the foolishness of the message preached to save those who believe (1 Corinthians 1:21). People are born again through the imperishable, supernatural, “living and abiding Word of God” (1 Peter 1:23).

FAITH BRINGS ABOUT ACTION (Matthew 9:6, 12:13). The Gospel message requires response, appropriation, action, commitment. A most dangerous idea is that faith only means “mental assent” or agreement. It is not only untrue to biblical examples but it doesn’t work of transform lives. When Jesus called, men actively responded. “Take up your bed and go home”, He said. “Stretch out your hand”, He commanded. In Hebrews 11, a great section on illustrations of faith, contains a series of responses or faith actions. The Lord’s invitation, “Follow Me” requires action.

The Offer Must Be Accepted

How do you get saved? You must accept God’s offer and yield to Jesus as your Lord and Savior.

UNDERSTAND THE GOSPEL CONTENT (1 Corinthians 15:3-4, 1 John 5:11-12). “Hear and understand”, Jesus often said (Matthew 15:10). You are not able to enter God’s family when you “do not hear, nor understand” (Matthew 13:13). You can’t sincerely believe what you do not know (Gospel content) and do not understand. You must receive the witness (or record) that “God has given us eternal life and this life is in His Son. He that hath the Son hath life. He who does not have the Son of God does not have life”. If you believe He is risen and alive today, having overcome the barrier of your sins, then believe He is your only hope with God.

TRUST AND RECEIVE CHRIST (John 1:12, Revelation 3:20). “As many as received Him to them He gave the right to become children of God.” In the prior verse, His own people rejected Him in His claims. They did not believe He was God, Messiah, the only way of salvation. They would not accept His authority, although they may have admired His preaching, the miraculous power of healing, and His inspiring manner. It was to a church that shut Him out that He said, “open the door”. This was never intended to be a prayer in which you just, “ask Jesus into your heart”. You receive and commit yourself to Christ just as two people commit themselves to one another in marriage. In fact, the married state is an object lesson of salvation (Ephesians 5:23-24, 31-32). It is a personal relationship into which one enters by solemn commitment.

SUBMIT TO JESUS AS SAVIOR AND LORD (Romans 10:9-10, Philippians 2:10-11). Although this part has been challenged by many and ignored by others, it is a crucial part of salvation. There are no rebels in the kingdom of God who refuse His authority (Luke 19:14). You must “confess with your mouth Jesus as Lord”, your Lord, to be saved. You cannot wait until even the doomed and damned are brought to bow the knee to Him. You may not know all that is involved, all the implications, and issues, but you must submit to Jesus as your Lord and Savior and not imagine you can put it off until later while still expecting to be saved. This lack is one of the two most fatal deficiencies in those falsely professing to be followers of Jesus as Lord. The second point of failure is shallow, incomplete, or even a complete lack of repentance. Why would you refuse to submit to Him, yet claim to be a follower of Jesus?

“If anyone does not abide in Me, he is cast out as a branch and is withered; and they gather them and throw them into the fire, and they are burned.” John 15:6

Now, you can answer the question of the Philippian jailer, “What must I do to be saved?” (Acts 16:30). The answer, “Believe on the Lord Jesus and you shall be saved”, has been explained by many additional Scriptures, as it ought to be.

Lesson 9 Overcoming Objections

“Always being ready to make a defense to everyone who asks you to give an account for the hope that is in you, yet with gentleness and reverence” (1 Peter 3:15). Are you prepared for the defense and confirmation of the Gospel (Philippians 1:7)? Can you, with God’s help, say to others, “Come now, let us reason together, says the Lord. Though your sins be as scarlet, they will be as white as snow” (Isaiah 1:18).

Argument does not win people to Christ, especially when we are harsh and condemning. Reasoning with those who are open, using Scripture can be helpful. Paul often did this (Acts 17:2-3, 18:4-19). The Lord Jesus did that, drawing attention to prophecies concerning Himself (Luke 24:27, 32). We ought to learn how to do the same.

Objections are not a bad thing. They may, if serious, show interest. Without being argumentative, stay calm, and learn how to deal with a sincere question. Don’t fear objections. Be glad that there is enough interest to propose them. This is better than apathy. Say to objectors, “I am glad you brought that up”. Why? Because it gives you an opportunity to answer.

First Ask Yourself

DO I UNDERSTAND THE QUESTION? If you don’t understand, then ask them to rephrase or repeat it. It shows you are listening and taking them seriously. Don’t just guess at their meaning and answer quickly or carelessly. Take you time. Think before speaking. People object for various reasons. Maybe they just want to present their own ideas. Perhaps they object because they have a habit of arguing. Maybe this is a device to cover a deep unwillingness to change and yield themselves to God. It may be that they have been poisoned by anti-biblical or anti-God influences.

DO YOU KNOW HOW TO ANSWER? We will list below the most common objections. There has been little or nothing new added to the objections people make to the Bible over the centuries. The claim of startling new discoveries in Biblical research that undermine our faith, are mostly myth and verbal overstatement. “Science” has not “disproved the Bible”. Science is a method of study and never has been dedicated to disprove the Bible. There are reasonable, intelligent answers available to all objections. People generally just don’t know the answers. Objectors as a rule have never made a serious study of either the truth of Scriptures or what is called “Christian evidences”.

IS THE OBJECTION TRUE OR LOGICAL? Many false ideas circulate as though they were proven facts. When claims of Biblical contradictions or scientific errors are made against Scripture, ask them for specific examples and the source of their information. People may say, “I don’t believe this or that?” Even if they have the right to disbelieve, is their unbelief based on truth or falsehood? Someone may say, “God is too loving to do that”. On what basis do you know that? Do the misdeeds of certain professing Christians or workers really disprove the truthfulness of Jesus or the Biblical revelation?

WILL IT MAKE ANY DIFFERENCE? If we answer, will it affect their attitude and remove some major obstacle to faith? Most questions are quite superficial and worn out from over use. “Where did Cain get his wife?” or “What about Jonah and the whale?”, are not original and are not a serious obstacle. Some of these questions lead off on to a sidetrack. Are objectors reasonable and open to intelligent persuasion, or just seeking argument for its own sake?

The Two Major Objections

There are only two major objections of any consequence. They are difficult but they do have adequate answers.

WHAT ABOUT THOSE WHO NEVER HEARD OF JESUS? This is a genuine problem. Obviously God will not hold you responsible to believe what you don’t know. “Shall not the Judge of all the earth do right?” You are responsible to live up to the light you have. God says that all men have received the witness of a Creator to whom they must answer (Romans 1:9-20). He says they have the witness of their conscience (Romans 2:14-15). God will help the seeker to know what he needs to know. He can bring a messenger to you, as Philip was sent to the Ethiopian (Acts 8:26-35). He can bring the seeker to one able explain the truth, as Cornelius was brought to Peter (Acts 10:3-22). Missionaries are sent out for the purpose of being available to seekers.

WHY DO THE INNOCENT SUFFER? Such as children, the helpless, or disaster victims? If there is an all-powerful and loving God, why would He allow this? There is no neat answer to this. God has determined to allow evil to exist and to allow people to choose to do wrong and afflict others. We suffer by reason of evil-doers, including Satan himself. This does not mean that God is the author or agent of evil in each instance. It means He permits it. Certainly God allowed His own Son to suffer at the hands of evil-doers. People were cruel to Him, to the Prophets, the Apostles and godly believers of every age. God didn’t do this. Wicked people did it. Permission or latitude to do wrong is not the same thing as causing the wrong. In the lives of believers, it is possible to “suffer for righteousness sake” (1 Peter 2:20, 3:14-17). We can suffer according to the will of God to glorify Him in how we deal with it (1 Peter 4:16 or as Job’s experience).

Other Common Objections

IS THE BIBLE REALLY TRUE? Hasn’t science disproved the Bible?” Not really, although many people have tried hard to do it. The continuity of this effort and propaganda even today certainly shows they have not fully succeeded. The communist nations tried hard. The secular scoffers try hard. The media tries hard. The educational establishment tries hard. The question is whether you have carefully studied what are called, “the evidences for the truth of the Bible”? In most cases the answer is no. These evidences are quite strong, convincing even some of the greatest philosophers and scientists with advanced degrees in every field. Try studying prophecy in the Old Testament. Jesus appealed to that and it is still there. Study modern works like “Evidence That Demands A Verdict”, by McDowell. Your input may be negatively lop-sided. Maybe you are just repeating propaganda, without investigation.

“Now ‘If the righteous one is scarcely saved, where will the ungodly and the sinner appear?’” 1 Peter 4:18

“DOESN’T GOD ACCEPT EVERYONE?” “I believe that all religions have some good and that God will accept me as I am.” The question is, “Upon what do you base this opinion?” Certainly not upon the words of Jesus (John 14:1-6). Would you dare call Him a liar or deceiver or a lunatic? Do you think there is absolute truth in varied earthly disciplines (mathematics) but not about God? If there is a God of perfect holiness and truth, how can you be sure you are prepared to meet Him?

“DON’T YOU ACCEPT WHAT PAST GENERATIONS HAVE TAUGHT YOU?” This could be true of many people (Hindus, Moslems, even sun worshippers). If someone simply transmitted ideas without investigation it will not help them have a true relationship with God. Every person has a responsibility to seek what is true, regardless of their upbringing. Why excuse complacency? It is possible that family members may know and have taught someone the truth, yet it has not taken root in their heart. Remember, “God has no grandchildren”. You are responsible for the spiritual decisions that affect your soul’s eternal destiny.

“I HAVE NEVER SEEN ANY MIRACLES SO WHY SHOULD I BELIEVE IN THEM?” By definition, a miracle is an “extraordinary event, manifesting divine intervention”. Even in the Bible miracles were limited to certain periods and individuals. The fact that you personally haven’t seen any means no more than the fact that you never personally walked on the moon. Someone else did however. If you demand that God be like the genie in a magic lamp to jump up and do something special just to convince you, there will be a long wait for your big ego. God calls people to come to Him be faith, not sight, whether you like it or not. As to miracles, most people use the word all the time (sports, products, changes, recoveries); they just doubt Bible miracles.

“ISN’T RELIGION A CRUTCH FOR WEAK PEOPLE?” For some people that may be true, but certainly not all believers feel this way. Do you think psychiatrists, psychologists, tranquilizers, support groups, astrologers and even pleasure-seeking are crutches too? Do you object to the idea that people seek and receive professional help at times when they feel a need? Why is spiritual help something to be mocked but other help is encouraged? There is an inconsistency here.

“IS JESUS THE ONLY WAY TO GOD?” For many this is difficult to accept. He certainly said He was (John 14:6). If He is nothing more than one of many ways to God, why did He teach otherwise? Do you have a clear, well considered theory about who Jesus is? Who else has impacted history like Him? How did He achieve this if it is all false.

“The entirety of Your Word is truth, and every one of Your righteous judgments endures forever.” Psalm 119:160

“WHAT ABOUT THE CONTRADICTIONS IN THE BIBLE?” Well, show me one or two that bother you. Maybe I can answer the questions or find and answer and get back to you. It is amazing how many difficulties have been resolved over the centuries. Jesus believed in the Old Testament Scriptures and quoted them. Do you think He was stupid or just lying?

“IT’S GREAT FOR YOU, BUT I CANT BELIEVE THAT?” What is it that you can’t believe? Be specific. Why can’t you believe? Would you like to know what is true that you might intelligently believe? What efforts are you making?

These examples should be enough to get you started as an “objection overcomer”. There are many books available that can provide even more ammunition. Just apply yourself. In the meantime, remember that most objections are not the real problem. Man’s basic problem is his unwillingness to accept God’s authority. People tend to be rebellious, proud, and self-willed. Anyway, that’s what the Bible says. Perhaps some may even object to this.

Lesson 10 Asking Effective Questions

To be effective in interacting with people you must learn to develop the ability to ask good questions. Such questions should be less concerned with gaining information than with helping people think. Random questions often lead to answers that do not advance your mission of being a help.

The Lord Jesus, as God, was a master at asking questions. He had the advantage of omniscience, which we do not. His questions were for the purpose of making others think. His questions taught by pointing out something. They probed the conscience. They provoked decision.

God, The Great Questioner

Notice God’s approach from Genesis 3:9-13.

· “Where art thou?”

· “Who told thee thou wast naked?”

· “Hast thou eaten of the tree which I commanded thee not to eat?”

· “What is this that thou hast done?”

The questions of Jesus can be analyzed as to their purpose. He was a wise and perceptive questioner. We must learn to ask questions which reflect the same wise objectives.

Purpose Of Jesus’ Questions

CLARIFY PURPOSE (John 21:5). Why did Jesus ask the disciples, “Children, have you any fish?”, when He knew they had none? In effect, He asks, “Why did you come up here on this fishing excursion, apart from asking if it was God’s will, immediately after I had revealed myself in the glory of the resurrection?” That certainly had a bearing on their catching absolutely no fish after toiling all night. “Why are you doing this?” or “Why are you living this way?”, are good “think it over” questions.

BRING REFLECTION (John 13:12). After washing the disciples’ feet, why did Jesus ask them, “Do you know what I have done to you?” Obviously, they knew of His actions but what was His purpose? Here was a dramatic act of utter humility before all. Not one seemed to have considered doing this for the others. It remained for Him to set the example, yet He was the Lord and Master of all of them. People need to be brought to reflect carefully upon their own actions, or lack, in the light of their calling.

PRICK THE CONSCIENCE (John 7:19-20). Sometimes it is necessary to seek repentance and confession. Jesus asked His accusers, “Why do you seek to kill Me?” They denied this, but it was true. What was the true motive in their sinful hearts? Pilate believed it was envy (Matthew 27:18). It could have been other things. It is important, where possible, to seek conviction of sin or acknowledgement of wrong, by searching inquiries.

TESTING THEIR FAITH (John 6:5). God is a faith-tester. It is our main channel of fellowship with Him. Faced with a great multitude of tired and hungry people, why would Jesus present Philip with this difficult challenge, “Where are we to buy bread that these may eat?” Since they had very little money and there was no large supply of available food nearby, what could Philip say? Would you have said, “With us this is impossible, but with You, nothing is impossible”?. We doubt it. Since it was beyond their resources, Andrew starts to inventory their own tiny and inadequate supplies. The Lord then accepted these and used them beyond their wildest expectations.

“Our God is the God of salvation; and to God the Lord belong escapes from death.” Psalm 68:20

IDENTIFY THE SOURCE OF DELIVERANCE (John 8:10).When Jesus emptied His audience of those who wanted to stone the woman caught in adultery, He asked them, “Woman, where are those accusers of yours? Has no one condemned you?” When she escaped death, she realized who it was that saved her life. Did she give Him the glory? It might have been that she could have attributed it all to good fortune or fate. Here it is unlikely. She needed to know who delivered her.

CHALLENGE THEM (John 6:67). If speakers were faced with having a large company of their audience get up and leave after a message, they would conclude they must have erred. To the contrary, Jesus immediately turns to the Twelve and asks, “You do not want to go away also, do you?” Instead of considering a possible mistake, He challenged the rest and got Peter’s marvelous reply, “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life”. Never fear to challenge others, on the basis of divine truth, simply to retain public favor.

INVITING THEM TO COME (John 9:35). Although this is often abused, there is a proper time and place to ask someone to express their faith or commit themselves to the Lord. He asked the blind man to whom He gave sight, “Do you believe in the Son of Man (or Son of God)?”.

General Categories Of Questions Good Questions

· OPENING questions are the type that help the other person talk freely and improves genuine communication. We want to establish that we are not putting the other person on the “witness stand” and “grilling them” like an attorney. Informal discussion about personal background or attitudes can then move to their desires or objectives.

· DIRECTIVE questions are those where you not only select the topical area but seek a reply along the lines of your choosing, not theirs. Often this is to gain additional information. The situation is helped if your question is prefaced by the phrase, “May I ask…?”, “Have you…?” or “Do you…?”.

· REFLECTIVE questions are those which restate something that the other person has said and encourages clarification. “In other words, you mean…” is a typical beginning. This is effective at times for helping them see the flaw in their thinking.

Bad Questions

· TACTLESS questions are offensive. They overstep the boundaries of our right to ask or need to know. Why do you need to ask this or know this? Is it sensitive, thoughtless, impulsive?

· POINTLESS questions are annoying. When you receive the answer, you have no idea of how to utilize the information. If it is irrelevant to your need to know, don’t ask.

· “YES” OR “NO” questions are also known as closed questions because they invite a one word response. Such answers are usually the least helpful. Seek those questions which open up discussion and comment that further your purpose.

· AMBIGUOUS questions invite a wide range of answers and may get you off track (capable of multiple meanings). “What do you think about getting more involved in the church?”, is an example of such a question. Be direct. Get to the point. This will help you to help them.

· CONTROVERSIAL questions are annoying and generally have no spiritual purpose. They often begin with, “What do you think of so-and-so?”, and typically deal with religious or political personalities. Unless you are looking for an argument, stay away from these issues.

· DEROGATORY questions are sometimes called “put-downs” because they reflect on their intelligence or background. An extreme example would be, “Don’t you think that is a stupid question?”.

Helpful Questions

ASK THEIR OPINION. Most people like to express their point of view. Be interested in what they think, rather than expounding your own ideas. This shows you are an interested listener.

Example: “What do you think is the greatest change God (or Jesus) wants in our lives?”

CLARIFY THEIR STAND ON ETERNAL ISSUES. Get them to think through where they really stand with God. This may help overcome confusion in their mind or misunderstanding on our part.

Example: “In others words, you are asking (or thinking) this? Is that correct?”

KEEP THEM ON TRACK. People go off on conversational detours, sometimes unintentionally. We may courteously have to call them back to the mainline of previous discussion, especially if its important.

Example: “That is interesting. However can we get back to the issue we were talking about before?”

ENCOURAGE DISCUSSION. This should be one of our major goals. We want to get others to “open up” and tell us their true attitudes. The more we do the talking, the less opportunity they have. Keep them going if the subject is significant.

Example: “Would you mind telling me more of your opinion on this?”

DETERMINE THEIR STAND. Tactfully seek an honest expression of their true attitudes. This saves the time of both parties and prevents misunderstandings based upon false hopes on our part.

Example: Would you mind sharing what you feel about that?”

PRESENT A CHALLENGE. There is often an opportunity for you to inquire as to the direction they wish to proceed in their relationship with God. Do this in a humble, non-threatening and non-manipulative way.

Example: “If you had only a year to live, what changes would you make in your way of living or use of time and resources?”

SEPARATE CAUSES FROM SYMPTOMS. Complaints and criticisms are usually warning symptoms, not causes. No good physician ignores the search for true causes when making a diagnosis.

“Is this the major issue that hinders you from following the Lord?”

Lesson 11 Hiding And Evading

Probing the spiritual and practical needs of those upon whom we call will not always meet with frank responses. Most people have learned to carefully conceal their true condition. Hiding and evading are familiar actions by people in the Bible (Genesis 3:8, Proverbs 28:13). Believers walking “afar off” from the Lord know how to conceal their condition with pious spiritual talk. They may seek to avoid discovery by God, by others, or even by self. There is pain in admitting unpleasant realities about ourselves. Where issues are clarified and there is a willingness to respond, we may be in a position to help someone. How can you recognize attempts to hide and evade?

Symptoms Of Hiding And Evading

SHOW OF UNEASINESS. This may especially be true when you get to vital spiritual questions. Nervous movements, tense facial expressions and hesitance in response might indicate you are drawing near a sensitive area.

LAME EXCUSES. Vacations, visiting relatives, sickness or a busy schedule, may not be the real reason for their absenses or laxness. Some excuses are absurd on their face value. It might be best to simply ignore them.

CHANGE OF SUBJECT. An example is when people try to avoid certain areas of discussion and turn to personalities, trivia or conversational detours. This may be a signal, especially if repeated. Don’t try to force an issue, but ask yourself, “Why?”. Ask, “Is this something that you just don’t want to talk about?”

“And why do you look at the speck in your brother’s eye, but do not consider the plank in your own eye?” Matthew 7:3

CRITICIZING OTHERS. This is a classic warning sign, diverting attention from their own lives. Whatever the justification, it is a “red flag”. Why should this issue be brought up now? Is it an empty excuse for a poor attitude? Be careful not to receive slander or gossip. Ask, “Is this something you need to take up directly with them and settle?”

PAST INJUSTICES. This is similar to criticizing others, but goes back into history. This may involve themselves or others. Such complaints as hypocrisy in others, mistreatment, “strictness” of parents or objections to the church. You might say, “I can understand your being hurt by this. I have been offended at times but I saw the need to put it behind me. It had nothing to do with my relationship with Jesus. I needed to forgive and forget.”

AVOIDING COMMITMENT. Lack of specific willingness to change personally, or indefinite postponement of decision, is a bad sign. We are not there to force a decision or accuse people. We might seek an agreement on a short term goal.

QUICK AGREEMENT. This is a surprising danger area since they appear to go along. This may show lack of principle and conviction. Such people have been called “Yes men”. They may want just to get rid of you by being agreeable.

We must face the fact that we cannot help those who do not want to be helped. We may be able to clarify matters and help the person who is open to help if shown the right way.

People may not be aware of the fact that they are hiding, or at least not being transparent about their true feelings. Most of us are less than frank about our true feelings, sometimes even with those who are family members. Viewpoint often determines our actions and responses. We develop various ways of dealing with things other than facing the issues.

· If we are doing what we want, it seems right, we defend it.

· If things are not going well, we blame others.

· If a subject does not give us a good feeling, we change it.

· If we feel mistreated by others, we bring it up.

· If something is unpleasant or difficult, we avoid it.

· If we have a bad attitude, we pretend to have a good one.

· If we have a problem to face, we want to change the circumstances.

Suggested Actions

ENCOURAGE HONESTY. There is no value to either of you to pretend. Say, “I would appreciate your being frank with me, as I know you want me to do with you. I respect your opinion. Say what’s on your heart. I will not be offended if you say, ‘I’m not interested’”.

LISTEN WITHOUT REACTING. Do not jump on their words if you truly want to listen to their point of view. Don’t be quick to argue or differ. It’s usually a mistake to say, “I don’t believe it. How can you say that?”

SHOW SENSITIVITY. Pride, embarrassment, fear, and sins make people want to hide. Understand their humanity, their frailty. Never be harsh.

APPEAL TO THEIR INTERESTS. Children, loved ones and our future are areas of concern. What is their chief concern? What do they want in life? Ask, “Where do you want to go from here?”

RETHINK THE SITUATION. Try to introduce a different perspective. Change the approach. Say, “I want to help you deal with a problem, if you will let me, even I can’t change your circumstances.”

Actions To Avoid

· Do not directly accuse then of not facing the issues. Even if it is true, it is more apt to provoke resentment than repentance. It puts them on the defensive, closes their ears and heart. We are there to help, not accuse.

· Do not get frustrated or discouraged or even angry in dealing with them. Try to see the most difficult cases as a real challenge to the power of God. Problem people are divine opportunities. You can make things worse if you are not careful. Consider the patience of Jesus in dealing with others?

· Do not accept their explanation as being completely true. People can be very persuasive in relating their grievances, gaining our sympathy, or justifying their actions. You may not have the whole story until you hear the other side.

Our proper goal is to get beyond the surface words and deal with the real issues, if they will permit. Seek to look at them in the light of God’s Word. Help them to clarify their thinking, to recognize the issues and be to open to the ministry of the Holy Spirit.

Lesson 12 Encouraging Others

Much of our Lord’s ministry was in helping and encouraging others. “Be of good cheer”, “fear not”, were familiar words. He went about doing good. One of the names of the Holy Spirit is Paraclete, meaning helper or “one along side”. This tells us much about God. He does not come as “the Great Criticizer”, as some are tempted to feel. Rather, He is “the Great Encourager”. There is no lack of need for this among God’s people or those outside of the household of faith. All of us are subject to discouragement.

Encouragement is a very positive word. In Scriptures such as Romans 15:4-5, it seems to have two meanings:

· To urge forward as, “We encourage (urge) you to attend”.

· To support or help as, “She encouraged her to get over her despair and press on with life”.

Encouragement takes time, especially with those who have been overlooked. It calls on us to be alert for opportunities. We might set as a personal goal to seek to give some spiritual encouragement to at least one person each day.

Suggestions For Openers

ON MEETING PEOPLE. Have time for people - especially “little people”. Show concern for others. Make it your purpose to be on the lookout for opportunity.

LEARN TO SMILE MORE. Seek to maintain a cheerful countenance. Get your mind off your own worries. Consider the impact you can have by having people notice you have a radiant look (Exodus 34:29-30).

GREET WARMLY, PAY ATTENTION. Do not let anyone think you are ignoring them because you are preoccupied with your own thoughts.

USE THEIR NAMES. You can spend up to $500.00 for a one day motivational course stressing this. It is a sweet sound to have someone use your name (and pronounce it correctly). Employ it by saying things like, “Well, Mary, it’s nice to see you again”.

USE FRIENDLY INQUIRIES. This does not mean nosey, intrusive questions about things that are none of your business. “How are you doing?”, or “How are you?”, are overused examples. Be more creative. Exhibit genuine interest rather than a form, a cliche, or a platitude.

Often a positive word from us can be used of the Lord to help someone move ahead for God in a particular way. Visiting people involves much more than searching out problems and correcting others. We want to help lift the burdens of those bowed down (Isaiah 58:6) and heal the broken-hearted (Isaiah 40:1, Luke 4:18). We are to “bear one another’s burdens” (Galatians 6:2). The Lord Jesus was not indifferent to these needs as He went about doing good.

“Heaviness in the heart of man maketh it to stoop, but a good word maketh it glad.” Proverbs 12:25

Sit down and think specifically about how you can best accomplish this.

How To Encourage

APPRECIATE MORE. Most of us have a tendency to over use criticism and correction. Thoughtful and kind words which demonstrate that we notice the efforts of others is courteous and unselfish. Even God invites our praise (Psalm 50:23). Look for opportunities to recognize the efforts of others. Look for something to commend or praise. Say it or write it in a note. Give credit for the right things.

COMFORT, ESPECIALLY BY THE WORD. Our Lord is the greatest practitioner of this healing ministry (Isaiah 40:1, 2 Corinthians 1:3). The sorrowing, the discouraged, and the defeated need a word in due season. The Holy Spirit is called “the Comforter”, not “the Criticizer”. Lift the spirits of others. Use a promise from God’s Word.

ASSIST PRACTICALLY. To wish someone “good luck”, pray and then depart without seeking to help them is hypocrisy condemned by God (James 2:16). How can we aid those who honestly need a helping hand? What needs to be done? How can I help? Can I think of someone to help who is better qualified or able? Do something. Don’t just report a need.

FUTURE ASPIRATIONS. It is possible that someone wants to be more involved in Christian ministry and to use their spiritual gift. All of us should be working together in the Body of Christ (1 Corinthians 12). Believers are often troubled by a sense of inadequacy. Point out that God is adequate for any necessity or empowerment. The issue is, “How would you like to serve the Lord?”.

CHALLENGE TO GROW. Peter wanted believers to develop beyond the state of infancy or immaturity (1 Peter 2:2). How can we assist them in growing in the Word of God “unto the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ” (Ephesians 4:13)? The Word of God establishes very high standards for holiness, fruitfulness, character, it condemns mediocrity lukewarmness, laxity.

EXHORT TO GO ON. The idea of this word is to invite or entreat a person to pursue a spiritual course of conduct (Acts 11:23, 15:32). Positive encouragement is better than denunciation. “Stir up the gift that is within you”, Paul told Timothy (2 Timothy 1:6).

KEEP THEM LOOKING UP. We are not helped by looking inward (introspection) or looking at others (making comparisons).

INVOLVE SOCIALLY. The Lord Jesus interacted with many people. He was a social person, not a recluse. Hospitality meant originally “love of strangers”. Believers are urged to show this to others (Romans 12:13, 1 Peter 4:9). Many believers are lonely and neglected, not feeling a part of the fellowship, sometimes “loners”. We are part of a living body, What we don’t use, we may lose, both in gifts and opportunities. Consider how you can help others practically.

Think about how you can put these suggestions into practice, starting now, by doing the following assignment.

· Prepare to report at least one good “Encourager” contact this week. Write on your ACCOMPLISHMENT OF PREPARATION REPORT (briefly) the impact you saw of this action on another person.

· List or check the things you are not doing, that you can and should do to encourage others.

“Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.” John 14:27

Lesson 13 Analysis And Direction

To analyze is to separate something into parts in order to examine more effectively a complex situation such as human behavior. The causes and remedies for improper behavior and thought patterns have given rise to hundreds of theories and suggested approaches based on purely human wisdom. The suggestions of so many approaches, with their continuous revisions, suggests that none have proven lastingly effective. The problem with most of them is that they take little notice of the Creator and Maker of all things in what He has to say.

Any ailing person needs a wise doctor. There is none better than the one called “The Great Physician”. Correct diagnosis must precede helpful recommendations. Good doctors listen well and take a good “patient history” before deciding what needs to be done. Others may need to be consulted. The range of possible ailments is lengthy. There is often a spiritual root to many problems. An informal, but serious discussion, must be used to determine:

What is the problem?

What should be done?

Here are some typical or major problem areas:

Separations and divorces

Sexual offenses

Divisiveness, trouble-making

Gossip, back-biting

Self-centeredness

Lack of discipline

Irresponsibility, job instability

Experiencing sense of rejection

Resent indifference by others

Unruly children

Unforgiving spirit

Role reversal of divine family order

Discouragement

Debt, poor stewardship

Scriptural ignorance

Rejecting proper authority

Defiling, hurtful habits (drugs, alcohol, smoking)

People need spiritual analysis, not psycho-analysis. We need to seek to be one guided by the Spirit and the Word in being a “discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart” (Hebrews 4:12). We are not there to pronounce judgment but to discern needs. Obviously we ourselves must be in close fellowship with God. We should not show partiality. We are to be righteous and fair, suspending any conclusions until we have confirmation of what may only be vague suspicion. Here are some considerations:

TAKE NOTE OF OBVIOUS CLUES. What is the nature of the conversation, interaction between family members, reading material displayed, condition (order) of house, and response to the ministry of the church.

Remember, be tactful. You are not to look down on others.

Be Alert For Display Of Attitudes

CONCERNING GOD: Is there eagerness or complacency in spiritual things, love for Christ, interest in the Word, priorities?

Remember, probe tactfully. You are not a cross-examiner.

CONCERNING THOSE IN AUTHORITY: Are they open to counsel, independent in spirit or teachable, respectful or critical?

Remember, people can change. Avoid “writing off” someone quickly.

CONCERNING RESPONSIBILITIES: Do they finish what they start (jobs, classes, etc…)? How is leadership at home (participation)? Do they blame others or accept responsibility?

Remember, these things can be taught.

CONCERNING SIN: Is there victory over sin or lack of discipline? Is there conviction or recognition of problems? Are they open/eager for help or apathetic?

Remember, the Lord is the God of recovery.

BE WILLING TO TEST THEIR WILLINGNESS. Do they desire to change? Are they willing to attend a class, be open to further discussion or contact?

Remember, the Lord tested those who professed willingness.

It is good to ask appropriate questions of others. It is also necessary to ask ourselves questions about what we observe and what needs to be done.

Questions To Ask

WERE YOU WARMLY RECEIVED? The Lord said, “Whosoever receiveth whom I send, receiveth Me” (John 13:20). If they are evasive, hesitant, cool, uneasy; this may reflect their attitude toward the Lord. If they are open to Him, they will probably be open to you, friendly, hospitable and receptive to a spiritual discussion. If they don’t want to have you there, or talk, then leave graciously.

WHAT ATTITUDES WERE EVIDENT? Was it those of a spiritual seeker, like Nicodemus? (John 3:12). Or those who came with Philip, saying, “Sir, we would see Jesus” (John 12:21)? Or was it argumentative, mocking or apathetic? Sincere questions or challenge may indicate interest if behind their words is a desire to know God.

HOW WAS THE HOLY SPIRIT WORKING? Was there conviction of sin (John 16:8)? Was there a growing perception or understanding of spiritual truth (John 16:13)? Was the Spirit’s ministry, through you and the Word, welcome? Or was He grieved (Ephesians 4:30)? You cannot go beyond His Word and minister without Him.

“And when He has come, He will convict the world of sin, and of righteousness, and of judgment.” John 16:8

WHAT SCRIPTURES APPLY? “What does the Scripture say?, asks Paul (Romans 4:3). That is the determining factor in truth about anyone. That’s how we know right from wrong, good from bad, helpful from unhelpful. You must be filled with the knowledge of the Word, if you are to understand situations and apply the Word rightly.

WHAT ACTION DO YOU RECOMMEND? Much opinion and information is wasted if we do not come to a diagnosis and prescription for action. You may want to help them use the Word to say what is necessary. Or you may just read it and suggest it may apply. Talk without action is usually of little help. The Lord diagnosed covetousness and materialism as more important to the rich young ruler than God. He told him what to do (Matthew 19:21).

Like a good doctor seeking to diagnose an illness, we need to observe symptoms as well as possible underlying causes. We need to ask perceptive questions in the right areas and probe with “the sword of the Spirit”.

General Causes Of Spiritual Problems

LACK OF COMMITMENT TO CHRIST (Romans 6:13, 12:1-2, 2 Corinthians 5:17). Defective consecration is without doubt the chief problem in the lives of professed believers. If Jesus is not effectively allowed to rule our lives or if we are half hearted in our commitment we can not expect Him to provide victory.

WRONG PRIORITIES IN LIFE (Matthew 6:33). God first, others second, you last is the divine priority list. Jesus and others and you, spells “JOY” as an acrostic. Decisions, use of time or other resources and goals must be based on this order.

BAD ATTITUDES (Philippians 2:5). We need Christlike attitudes not self centeredness which seeks merely to look out for your own personal interests. If we allow bitterness or an unforgiving spirit to dominate our thinking, we will defile our minds and our actions.

DETERIORATING RELATIONSHIPS (Philippians 4:2,5). Learn to live in harmony with others, even if it is difficult. “If it be possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men” (Romans 12:18). Strife and contentions destroy peace. The Lord often exhorts us to get along with others. He is a reconciler.

SELF WILL (Matthew 26:39). He said, “I have come to do the will of Him that sent Me” (John 6:38). When we imagine that God saved us, gave us life, and then had no interest in whether we served our own desires or His, we are seriously mistaken. A strong-willed child resists obeying parental commands. So does a self-willed person before God.

DISCOURAGEMENT (Psalm 77:1-9). This may be the Devil’s most often used tool. “Be of good courage” is a frequent word from God to His children. Psalm 77 is a lament of pure despair by a believer “so troubled that he cannot speak”. This is a “deadly” emotional response to difficulties.

LACK OF DISCIPLINE (Galatians 5:23). “A man who has no control over his spirit is like a city broken down and without walls” (Proverbs 25:28). The fruit of the Spirit is self-control. Unstructured, disorganized living is the road to nowhere.

HARMFUL ASSOCIATIONS (Proverbs 1:10). “Do not proceed in the way of evil men”. What kind? Scripture names fools, fornicators, drunkards, scoffers, disorderly, angry and similar types as people to avoid for companionship. We call them “bad news friends”. They are not true friends but acquaintances that can drag you down.

BESETTING SINS NOT DEFEATED (1 John 5:4). The path of a believer is one of overcoming the world. He overcomes evil with good (Romans 12:21). If we initially overcome “the defilements of the world” and then are “entangled in them and overcome, the last state has become worse than the first” (2 Peter 2:20). The practice of lawlessness, may well indicate that a person is not a true believer (1 John 3:8-9).

We must maintain our grasp of Scripture to properly, spiritually determine what, if anything, we need or ought to do to help someone. This may be either practical assistance or counsel. The best counsel in the world is useless if the other person is not interested in taking heed. Therefore, don’t give unsolicited advice. If they are open and receptive, and ask for your advice, then give it. Be sure you base it upon the Word and examine it together on the required subject. Pray about it and keep praying. Follow up on necessary action where you can.

Using The Word Of God

Accurate knowledge of the Scriptures and effective use of that knowledge is the most important ability we can have in helping others. It is supernatural wisdom. When used under the direction of the Holy Spirit, it has a supernatural impact. Psalm 119 has 176 verses totally devoted to the value of the Word of God. It is presented as the answer to almost every major spiritual problem: wisdom, holiness, guidance and salvation. It is intended to impact the way you live, the way you speak, the way you teach or counsel others.

It is like a hammer in its convicting power (Jeremiah 23:29); like a burning fire in the bones in internal motivation (Jeremiah 20:9); like a soothing ointment to the troubled soul. It is like honey, bread and milk as food for the soul. Therefore how necessary it is for us to use this mighty spiritual aid in effective calling. We must ever keep the Word of God between us and those to whom we speak as a foundation for what we say. If they want to dispute, let it be with God’s Word, not us as a matter of personal opinion. Consider these reasons for employing the Word in our conversations.

The Importance Of Using God’s Word

JESUS USED IT (Matthew 4:3-10). That is sufficient example for us. The Lord regularly used the Word of God in dealing with others. He quoted it to Satan during the Temptation. He refused the Enemy’s wrong use of Scripture. He asked in Luke 6:3, “Have you not read?”. He said, “It is written” (Matthew 21:13, 26, 31). “He expounded to them in all the Scripture the things concerning Himself (Luke 24:27). There are many indirect references, questions and principles which were based upon God’s Word. He knew and used the Word in dealing with others as a constant practice. So should we.

THE SPIRIT USES IT (Ephesians 6:17). It is not human wisdom but the Word of God that is the mighty sword of the Holy Spirit. Every man is at some point false, but God is always true (Romans 3:4). His Word is truth (John 17:17). It is like silver refined in a furnace and purified seven times (Psalm 12:6). People may refuse its authority but that will not change its power, that of truth from God’s living Word. It is by the Word that faith comes (Romans 10:17). The expansion of New Testament Christianity is described this way: “So mighty grew the Word of God and prevailed” (Acts 19:20).

HUMAN WORDS CANNOT COMPARE (Isaiah 55:11, 1 Peter 1:23). It is evident that no human statement can equal the Word of God in its inherent power to touch the lives of others. “The words that I speak unto you, they are spirit and they are life” (John 6:63). “So shall My word be that goeth forth out of My mouth. It shall not return unto Me void, but it shall accomplish that which I please, and it shall prosper in the thing whereto I sent it” (Isaiah 55:11). It is not by the word of man, but by the Word of God that men and women are born again (1 Peter 1:23).

“All Scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness.” 2 Timothy 3:16

Four Basic Uses Of The Word

FOR TEACHING. Healthy believers thrive on what is called sound or wholesome doctrine, much as people are healthier by reason of a good diet. Weak teaching leads to being susceptible to spiritual disease. It leads people to being open to cultic distortions or twisted doctrinal ideas. “You do err greatly”, said the Lord to religious leaders, “because you don’t know the Scriptures”. Strong Christians are “mighty in the Word”, like Apollos or the Bereans who “searched the Scriptures”.

FOR REPROOF. This involves showing people plainly where they are wrong. The Word is the authoritative standard for what is right, what is divine, infallible, absolute. When the Lord used the Word, He spoke with authority. The only proper basis of rebuke is an unmistakable violation of God’s Word, it is not just deviating from the customs or traditions of men.

FOR CORRECTION. This is when we use the Word to explain what is right or true. If immorality is a threat, then people are to flee from it. If fleshly lusts war against the soul, one should abstain from anything providing temptation. If you are a believer that is involved in sin, stop it. No believer is a slave to sin’s power any longer (Romans 6). Seek to correct problems by the Word of God.

FOR TRAINING IN RIGHTEOUSNESS. Discipline for the erring believer is not just punishment, it is training. “Train up a child in the way he should go” (Proverbs 22:6), is more than giving a command or posting a sign. Discipline and follow-up for new believers has the Word of God as its curriculum. It is to be taught, memorized, and imbedded in the minds and lives of believers. There must be example as well as precept. There must be active application and practice. A believer who is “rooted and grounded in the Word”, as Timothy from his childhood, will not easily stray.

General Purposes For Using The Word

ENCOURAGE PROPER ATTITUDES. “Thy Word have I hid in my heart that I might not sin against Thee” (Psalm 119:11). An attitude is an outlook or inner feeling with regard to a situation, person or my own condition. It may result in a characteristic way of response to a situation. This could be resentment, discouragement, fear or indifference. Unless we are able to search out and note this inner feeling, we cannot effectively deal with the situation. Underlying attitudes therefore are as important as words in evaluating people and determining what to do. Attitudes can be as sinful as actions if we consider the words of the Lord Jesus (Matthew 5:22-48). Attitudes can also underlie failure to gain victories in daily living. The following verses represent primary areas of attitude problems:

POSITIVE

Loving (1 John 4:11-12)

Teachable (James 3:17)

Thankful (1 Thessalonians 5:18)

Humble (1 Peter 5:5)

Forgiving (Ephesians 4:32)

NEGATIVE

Slander, hate (Proverbs 10:18)

Argumentative (Proverbs 18:19)

Bitter, resentful (Ephesians 4:31)

Strife, jealousy (Galatians 5:20)

Pride, self-sufficiency (Proverbs 16:18)

GUIDE DECISIONS. “Thy Word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path” (Psalm 119:105). This is one of the most quoted verses in Scripture. It proclaims the Psalmist’s dependence on God’s Word for knowing the right way to proceed in life. There are matters of absolute commands to follow. There are matters of circumstantial decisions in which helpful principles apply. It is good advice to say, “do not lean on your own understanding (Proverbs 3:5). “If any man will do His will, he shall know of the teaching” (John 7:17). It is important for any counselor to know correct biblical principles and refer to them.

STIMULATE GROWTH. “As newborn babes, desire the pure milk of the Word, that you may grow thereby” (1 Peter 2:2). Spiritual growth requires spiritual food from God’s Word, whether it be simple “milk” or advanced “meat”. Solid food helps believers move to maturity (Hebrews 5:13-14). If the immature believer does not grow in the Word, that person is more prone to temptations which lead to moral failure and to defection from active participation in the life of the church (Hebrews 10:25).

ENCOURAGE HOLINESS. “How can a young man keep himself pure? By keeping it according to Thy way” (Psalm 119:9). The Lord’s command is, “Be ye holy for I am holy” (1 Peter 1:15). He wants us to be without blame” even if we are not perfect (Colossians 1:22). He wants us to avoid defilement. The believer who feeds on the Word regularly will be the one most likely to have a holy life. In correcting behavior, the Word is the primary spiritual weapon in bringing conviction and change.

CHURCH ORDER. “They were continually devoting themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer” (Acts 2:42). Here is the concise statement of the activities of the early church. The governmental order of elders and deacons, with qualifications, is set forth in Philippians 1:1 and 1 Timothy 3:1-13. The gifts functions within the body, with all members participating are given in 1 Corinthians 12. Christ’s love for the church is stated in Ephesians 5:25 and thus its importance. Do you love the church sacrificially?

“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for it…Children, obey your parents…Honor your father and mother that it may be well with you”. Ephesians 5:22-25, 6:1-4

FAMILY LIFE PRINCIPLES, “…neither is there male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus” (Galatians 3:28). There is a divine order within the family which does not contradict equality. The marriage vow is sacred and binding (Hebrews 13:4, 1 Corinthians 7:3-5). Divorce is strictly limited (Matthew 5:32, 19:9, 1 Corinthians 7:15). God must be first in the family without implying any neglect of basic obligations. Husbands should support their wives (1 Timothy 5:8). Children should be obedient to their parents (Ephesians 6:1).

SETTLING GRIEVANCES. “Moreover if your brother sins against you…” (Matthew 18:15-17). God wants to eliminate strife and see differences promptly settled. “If it be possible, as much as it lieth within you, be at peace with all men (Romans 12:18). Forgiveness should be a habit (Colossians 3:13). Overlooking offenses rather than taking offense is commanded (Proverbs 19:11). Spreading grievances is forbidden (Proverbs 17:9). Peace-making is commended by God.

GUIDANCE IN HANDLING RESOURCES. “Honor the Lord with your possessions…the borrower becomes slave to the lender” (Proverbs 3:9, 22:7). God will judge the way believers handle their monetary resources. He advises us to “lay up treasures in heaven”, not on earth. He warns against the love of money or “worrying over material needs. We should give God the first fruits of our income (off the top). We are to give regularly, proportionately, systematically (1 Corinthians 16:1-2). Believers are warned about going into debt.

UNDERSTANDING DIVINE PRINCIPLES. “Give me understanding that I may observe Thy law and keep it with all my heart”, cried the Psalmist (Psalm 119:34). Even the simple can find understanding through the Word (Psalm 119:130). You must know the Word to find its principles. You must cry out for understanding and wisdom.

The following verses are important in pointing the way to growth.

Priorities (Matthew 6:33)

Lordship (Luke 6:46)

Commitment (Romans 12:1-2)

Obedience (John 14:21)

Abiding (John 15:4)

Perseverance (Isaiah 40:31)

Reckoning (Romans 6:11)

Yielding (Romans 6:13)

Suffering (1 Peter 2:20)

Unity (1 Corinthians 1:10)

Power (Ephesians 3:20)

Holiness (1 Peter 1:15)

Submission (Ephesians 5:21)

Quiet time (Mark 1:35)

Word (Jeremiah 15:16)

Prayer (1 John 5:14-15)

asking (Matthew 7:7)

interceding (1 Timothy 2:1)

praising (Hebrews 13:15)

thanking (1 Thessalonians 5:18)

confessing (Proverbs 28:13)

Witness (Acts 1:8)

Servant (Matthew 10:26-27)

Laborers (Matthew 9:37-38)

Discipleship (Luke 9:23, 14:26-33)

The devil certainly sees the power of God’s Word on the human heart. He fears even its residual impact on the careless listener. “The evil one comes and snatches away what has been sown in the heart” (Matthew 13:19). Godless regimens try to destroy or ban every copy of the Bible, so that their people cannot read it. Secular forces seek to keep it out of schools. Opposers of the Lord write and teach constantly in attempting to discredit the Scriptures and their authority. No other book has faced such an onslaught in human history. Why?

If it is so influential spiritually upon people, in the eyes of the Lord’s enemies, why do we neglect it? We are weak because we do not feed upon it daily. Why, when we visit, counsel, or speak, do we not say more frequently, as our Savior did, “the Scriptures say”?